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Thread: I came out to a friend today...

  1. #1
    Junior Member SusanaO's Avatar
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    I came out to a friend today...

    ... and it went well, to make a long story short.

    He's gay, so I figured it couldn't go too bad, even considering a lot of the TG community has to endure discrimination from the other LBG groups. We've known each other for about six years now, but only got close until recent. I told him very casual; I was telling him how my female friends (including one girl I'm hoping to formally date) jokingly tell me my nail polish makes me less of a man. So then I asked him if he did anything "girly", such as wear their clothing, makeup, accessories, etc. He said he only played with nail polish when he was younger (funny thing is he's not the type of gay guy that can give you fashion advice - he's pretty much a masculine guy, he just happens to like men). I told him I put on a few of my mother's dresses when I was a preteen and teenager. Then I told him I needed to get new shoes to show off my painted toenails. He suggested some nice flip flips, I told him some nice open toed stilettos instead. He stared at me; then I told him I would need a dress to match the shoes. He just smiled.

    "Does that make me any less of a man?" I asked. "Not at all," he replied. "You just have a feminine side you like to express sometimes." He pretty much nailed it. He went on telling me he wasn't really surprised, as he thought my androgynous male mode wasn't womanly enough to suit me. It's nice that he doesn't see me any different than before.

    It's so nice when someone knows and accepts you!

    That's two down, a few more people to go

  2. #2
    New Member lydialeighTNCD's Avatar
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    Congrats! Here's to many more! It's always nice. I'm an over thinker, though, and wonder if most times people are just humoring me. but I don't think that's true.

  3. #3
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    First, allow me to say congratulations on a successful coming out. The only suggestion I would have is to be careful who you tell. Once it is out there, it is out there and you can't take it back like it never happened.

  4. #4
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Great news, sweetie!

    Personally, I have always had good experiences with LGB folks. We fit into their 'world' without ruffling feathers. I mean, what are we telling them, really?

    "Hi, I'm gender non-conforming!"

    "Really? Awesome!!"

    Not to blow off your courage for coming out.. not at all. It was a big step. I'm just saying we have allies in that space.

    <3

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  5. #5
    Junior Member SusanaO's Avatar
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    Jorja: You are very right. So far I have only told two people and I chose them wisely. I'm sure at some point some members of their social group may find out, but I don't care. The chances the word gets out to my social group from them is very slim. Besides, I'm not their center of attention. But, I do know some people who I'm certain would accept me, but would be dying to tell someone else.

    mechamoose: I know members of TG community who don't always feel at ease with some LGB folks who don't understand gender like they like to think they understand sexuality. But I choose my friends carefully, and I'm lucky my LGB friends are awesome. I'm sure a few more of them will find out.

  6. #6
    Brandi Brandie.n's Avatar
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    same happened here i told to of my close friends two lesbians about my cding.they whole hearted accepted me and keeps wanting to take me to some club dressed and a gay cruze as long as im Mercedes they gave me that name lol
    Flickr- https://www.flickr.com/photos/brandiedaniels/

  7. #7
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    Hi Susana, He sounds like a true friend, My third signature line echo's what Jorga said.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  8. #8
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    Glad it went well for you. That must have been really difficult to do. I'm a little nervous about telling others aside from my fiancé. I'm not sure what kind of reaction I would get.

  9. #9
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Glad it went so well

  10. #10
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Nice story Susana - you have a good friend, and now confidante there...

    And it is cool when people just accept you for who you are without judging... I suppose that's what makes coming back here so comfortable - we may not know each other face to face, but on the whole we accept all and whatever quirks there are about each other...

    So maybe you should say two down but quite a few hundred virtual friends..



    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  11. #11
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Here’s tae us, Wha’s like us, De’il the wan, an’ they’re a’ deid.
    We are *special*. We are *exceptional*.

    We dare to go into places we *belong*, instead of where folks think we *fit*.

    That requires a level of courage and determination that most don't have. You be YOU. Frack-all what they say or the comments you get. Is it more important that you get -their- approval or that you are true to yourself?

    "Wha’s like us?"

    - MartialMoose
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

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