Not your average passing thread...

[Stephanie47]

One of the goal I set for myself had to do with weight gain. Years ago the clerk at the Department of Motor Vehicles asked me if I wanted to change the weight shown on my driver's license (175). I fessed up to 215. I decided to lose weight. I dropped to 200-205. Diagnosed with diabetes (low end of the scale). Diet and more exercise. Now 190. Yes, my original goal was to fit into a smaller size that has a better selection of dresses. I did drop to 185, but, my male body did not feel comfortable. So, it's 190 pounds. I will never achieve any semblance of looking like a natural woman of my dreams. But, I feel comfortable with my image. I can do nothing with my aged face, whether I am a woman or a man.

Women come is all shapes and sizes. Be your healthy you first. Then go shopping for a dress.

[Debra Russell]

....doesn't need an explanation .... because I can................Debra

[carhill2mn]

Paula, thank you for your wonderful post. You accurately described how many of us feel. There are likely many on this forum who are not as concerned about being accepted as a woman, which is also fine.

[Michelle colson]

For me blending is more about not being noticed or harassed than fooling the general public. I think if I could just throw on a dress and heels and go shopping without anyone thinking twice about it I would. I usually don't wear a wig or make up when dressing at home although I do usually wear forms and pads though. There are times however I feel the need to make the full transition and wear a wig and make up even though I'm not planning on leaving the house.
As for bodily changes, I have lost weight, shave my face, chest and trim my arm hair, that's all. I guess I'm just comfortable as a male but have a strong desire to express my female side from time to time.

[Bria]

When I get in my race car and go out on the race track I go out there to do the best job of driving the car that I can. Will I be mistaken for the next Jeff Gordon, not on a bet! What do I gain, personal satisfaction, a trophy and a smaller bank account!

When I dress up I do that to the best of my ability, will I be mistaken for a GG, not on a bet. What do I gain, personal satisfaction (no trophies here), and a smaller bank account.

Both activities make me feel good, I get to interact with others who share an interest in the activity, and make friends. This sounds like positives to me. And also I get to forget about every thing else in my life for a few hours!!

Hugs, Bria

[Ressie]

There are only a few steps in emulating a woman that can't be quickly reversed that would manifest an effeminate appearance. Eyebrow plucking would probably be the most noticable, along with other hair removal. I don't even go out dressed, so shaping the eyebrows isn't something I feel compelled to do. My legs are practically hairless naturally, so I think people are used to seeing that. If they feel I'm more fem than other guys, I don't really care.

What would I gain by presenting as a woman full time? I'm not a lifestye crossdresser or TS.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

Like others have already mentioned, when I dress, I'm not putting all this effort in to please anyone but myself. I am my own worst critic, and when I recognize that something can be improved, I strive to do exactly that. I am fully aware that no matter how good I think I look, somebody will read me. So while 'passing' is something that I would like to achieve, I go into it knowing that it will never be 100% of the time. And I'm fine with that, knowing that I did (or do) the best I can. I tend to do everything (at least anything that I have a strong interest in) to the best of my ability. Dressing is most definitely one of those things. Even though I have been doing this for around 15 years now, and most of the big steps have already happened, I still find myself on this never ending quest to improve.

Here are some of the things that I noticed made noticeable differences to my appearance (I'll try my best to list them chronologically)

1. Shaved my moustache - HUGE change. Obvious, yes. But I did it during a time in my life where NOBODY ever saw without a moustache. The most ironic thing about this change, was that it happened because of my first ever head-to-toe dressing experience. And it was for a halloween party. And it was an easy excuse to use, I didn't want it to grow back because I thought I looked significantly better without it. Nobody thought it was weird at all.

2. Stopped biting my nails - small change. Completely cold turkey. I just said to myself one day...STOP. And for whatever reason, it stuck. And I have never started again. In fact, I couldn't even bring myself to bite them now, they are so long (comparatively to when they were disgustingly short) that biting them now would probably cause pain.

3. Starting shaving my legs and armpit hair - Moderate change. No more opaque tights under sheer hose...Since my SO already knew of my hobby, she initially had some beef with it, but now it doesn't bother her at all. Not so much the look, but the feel and comfort improvement was totally worth it.

4. Starting plucking my eyebrows - HUGE change. This one took many months to pull off. At least 6 or months. Each time I would progressively take a bit more off, until they reached the size and shape they are now. This change was so slow, that nobody said a word. (at least not to me). This was very significant in improving the appearance of my face.

5. Hip pads - Huge change. Nothing to really say here. This one is also pretty obvious. Clothing is filled out much closer to actual female dimensions. Still not perfect in my opinion, because I can't change the width of my shoulders or the size of my upper arms, but a huge improvement. I'm a small-ish guy to begin with, so my overall dimensions kind of work for me in this regard. Just need a bit longer and thicker legs...especially my thighs...that would be nice.

6. Got other ear pierced - small change, but a satisfying one. Nobody thought it was weird either. It really means nothing these days for a guy to have both ears pierced.

7. Breast forms - small change. I say small change because I already had a decent looking solution, but the forms just make it so much nicer feeling.

8. Body shaper - moderate change. Again, not so much an appearance improvement, but it did help smooth out my hip pads. So it definitely was an improvment. I don't wear it for the compression abilities. I usually buy a size bigger than I need because I just want it to hold my pads in place without being too tight.

9. Butt pads - moderate change. These, helped give me more 'booty' when viewed from the side.

10. Colored contacts - HUGE change. Changing your eye color really changes how you look. I almost never dress without them mow. Correction, I don't dress without them now.

11. NuBra - moderate change. I use it occasionally to help create a small amount of cleavage (if the dress or top is cut low enough to actually show something). It's better than nothing, but since I don't have a lot of excess skin to create the cleavage with, the difference is small. But still enough to notice. Shading helps here too.

Other changes that have happened over time were mostly tweaks to my makeup routine. Finding better concealer/foundation colors, becoming adept with liquid liner, learning how to contour, figuring out a good lip shape and size, just generally trying new techniques. Always searching for new ways to extract more 'girl' out of my face.

I recently went on a search for a couple pairs of clear lens glasses (I hope I don't offend anyone who hates wearing glasses and wonders why in the hell anyone would choose to wear them when they don't need them). Glasses are very much considered a fashion item these days thanks to the endless styles of frames available, and not uncommon for people to wear them strictly for the look. I've tried other clear versions in the past, but never found them to improve my look (I think they were too small). Speaking of which, contouring actually helps with wearing glasses, especially sunglasses. The most recent ones I got this time are a pair of over-sized frame ones, and a pair of cat-eye ones. I think they'll look good. I ordered them last week...they haven't arrived yet. I'll be sure to post a couple of pics, with and without....See what kind of feedback I get.

It never stops....ever.

[DaphneMiller]

I'm enjoying this very thoughtful thread.

And to follow on frm Tracy's thoughts, I once read that crosdressing is like a sport: you always want to beat your previous achievement or record. In our case it isn't speed or distance, but it's how good we appear, or where go.

Daphne