Do we care what our neighbors think?

[Jill_cd]

Do you really care what your neighbors think? Do you care what they say to each other about you behind closed doors? I've been out dressed as Jill a few times. I've stayed away from busy, public areas. Several months ago I started dressing on a Saturday morning and would lounge around the apartment all day. But it gets old, so I peeked out and saw that the mailman/woman had delivered the mail to my building, so I checked my makeup, hair, and everything else and popped out the door, down the stairs and picked up my mail. I continued to do this every Saturday, until one day I heard more of my neighbors in the hallway. Anyway, I lost the nerve and started to get undressed when I realized that I'm not doing anything illegal or immoral. This is my life and I'll live it however I choose. If my neighbors don't like seeing a man dressed as a woman, well, too bad. Back on went the heels, picked up my keys, and out I went to the mailbox. There wasn't anyone around, an odd car passed the building, but that was it. I was glad I checked the mail dressed, although as I recall, there were a couple of bills.

[Jenniferathome]

of course we care! We are humans. It is part of the human condition. That does not mean we have to do as they expect.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jill,

I've gone past the point of caring what others thinks neighbours included (however, my nearest neighbour is about 50 acres away). Anyway, if you are comfortable with yourself being who you need to be then you will reach a point where you don't care. In my situation it is my life and I'll live it the way I wish within the confines of what is legal and as you said we are doing nothing illegal. However, you do have to be prepared for the fallout as some neighbours may not like it and will let you know.

Hugs

Isha

[tommi]

Yes I care it is my driving force behind paying off my house so I can move
To the country

[Roxie]

Not really, i go out dress for the mail etc.Not much traffic on my road as it's a one way.I really for the most part don't think people pay attention that close.If you think about it do you remember what the guy going down the street was wearing? Not me have more to worry about than what somebody has on

[Michelle789]

I used to care what the neighbors think. I used to care what everyone else thinks of me. I learned that I cannot care what my neighbors think, nor what anyone else thinks, in order to transition and to live full time as a woman.

When I first stepped outside the house en femme, I would look out the window to make sure that no one was out there. I would check through the peephole of my front door and make sure that my next door neighbor's was closed. I would walk quickly to my car and leave. I always worried that someone would see me.

Now, I am full time and leaving the house as my authentic self is a normal experience for me. My neighbors have seen who I am, and guess what? No one really cares. I have spoken with a few of them and introduced myself as Michelle.

my nearest neighbour is about 50 acres away

Isha, we are such opposites!!! My nearest neighbor's front door is two inches away from mine and forms a right angle.

[Raychel]

My only concern around my house is if my brother happens to drive by.
he lives about a mile down the same street, but he is moving 70 miles away.
only other concern would be my father stopping in, not a huge concern.
he is away almost every weekend and all winter.

as far as neighbors, don't really care what they think, I rarely see them
and certainly not having them over for dinner every week.

[ArleneRaquel]

I don't care one iota. Even my homophobic neighbor now seems fine with my female presentation.

[SamanthaSometimes]

Please let me first broaden the question: "Do I care what other people think?". Regarding strangers who don't know anything about me or will likely do so (like out of town adventures): yes, but in a different way than you may think. I care that I look 'well groomed' and 'neat' regardless how I'm presenting: fully male, androgynous, or completely en femme. However, I really don't care if they think the behavior itself is weird which I believe is the point of your question. But "Do I care what my neighbors think?" - those people who do know me and my family, yes. I very much consider my wife's feelings. There is no doubt that if I were single, I would be 'out' to other, few and selected people. However, my wife is not accepting of my CDing (barely tolerant) and I care what the neighbors think primarily to respect her feelings.

[Rachelakld]

My neighbor waves and smiles, regardless of which way I dress.

[im-sparkles]

I care. I live in a small town (about 1500 people) where i grew up and my family goes back 150 yrs and are very well know. Not to mention i was captain of the football team in high school. If people knew about me my wife and kids would pay for it.Im fine with the closet here at home for now. However going out of town Im fine with total strangers judging me! Im happy being a sexy girl!!

[JocelynRenee]

I live in a complex and we have one particular husband/wife neighbor that we seem to run into daily. Some days they see Tonya and Charlie; other days it's Tonya and Jocelyn. A few weeks ago we were approaching them and the wife said, "Hello". Her husband was a few feet behind and was audibly chuckling. She told him to "be nice" and he protested that he was. He did greet us with a "Good evening ladies". The next day I was presenting as male and he stopped to ask about our new kitten. Eh. People are people. They probably don't "get us", but we maintain a neighborly relationship.

So, to answer the question: Yes. I care about my neighbors in the sense that I wish to be a good neighbor and enjoy it when I am liked and respected. The answer is also, "No", in that I am not going to change this aspect of my life because of what others may be saying about me. Besides, I enjoy giving their lives a little extra spice!

[Julie 29]

Not really. I walk out of the front door to my car. I'm sure some of the neighbors seen me en femme but just didn't say anything. I live in a safe neighborhood so no worries at all. Also I treat my neighbors with respect.

Julie

[Megan b]

Yes I do care. I got divorced last year and had to sell my home. I now live right across the road from my parents. Not the ideal situation for this crossdresser. My mom knows that I dress but has not seen my fem side, (that I know of) but my dad does not know and I prefer to keep it that way. My parents health is not the greatest and I don't want to cause them anymore stress over me and I just really do not want to disappoint them. They may have seen me and not said anything, because I do go shopping as Megan but I try to pick times that they are not home or if they are home, I try to get to my truck quickly but I also conduct myself as if it's no big deal (but it is). My home and trucks are in their line of sight. So if they are looking out the window or front door they are going to see. I'll cross that bridge when the time comes. My brother and sister live in the same neighborhood. Sister knows, brother does not, although I did meet him on the way to town once. There's no way he could have missed me rocking some really big hair that day. Those are the neighbors that live close to me and the ones I care, what they think. But the older I get the less I care what others that are not my family think.

[Jaylyn]

I care as we are very near a small town and gossip spreads fast in small towns. I am lucky though that I'm not right in town but several miles out and have some privacy from my neighbors. I don't want to be out so I keep the outside dressing to a minimum and my back porch mostly. If I'm at the farms we own then I could dress all dolled up if I wanted but hard to get the chores done in high heels and long nails... Yes I do care as there's no sense rocking a boat if it ant gonna sink unless I capsize it.

[KlaireLarnia]

I care and I care a great deal. Why, because my wife and daughter live with me. That said, does it stop me? No.

I dress openly in women's clothes, I do it daily without question and rarely without compromise. I do occasionally cover up because a situation will require me to or it avoids risks/uncomfortable moments (such as when I walk up to the shops, I may wear a male or unisex jumper to negate something I am wearing underneath). But I do not go en femme so what they see is a man wearing female versions of the clothes he would normally wear. Thus a project a feminine and not female look.

My neighbours see me though, they have to as I walk out the front of my house, down the side to the rear to get to my car and go to work. The opposite in the evenings when I get home. Does it bother me? At times, if I am wearing something a little more feminine than I may normally do or if I felt in a jumper and it gets too not to remain covered when I get home. People have looked, stared but never questions or openly made derogatory remarks to me/my wife/my daughter in the year we have been in this house. That is fine

I would not go out the house in a dress, as that too me would be wrong and too much. So in that respect I do care. MY image is well defined and I think people just see me as that bloke to wears women's clothes and ignore me past that.

[Jill_cd]

Thanks for all the replies. Maybe it's a bit of a devil-may-care attitude to think I don't care, but I do, to a certain extent. My parents and family live in another state, as does my ex and our child. None of my colleagues lives near me, so the chance of meeting one of them is quite remote. That being said, there was an elderly couple that lived down the hall from me. I would check on them from time-to-time, he has Parkinson's disease and she had a hip replacement. I don't know how they would've handled seeing Jill. Maybe they would've been cool or not so cool. I've helped them run errands and carry groceries. I wouldn't have wanted them to struggle because they were turned off by my cd'ing. Anyway, I still check how I look in the mirror about 17 times and look through the peephole and listen before getting past the front door.

Jill

[KlaireLarnia]

I think if you have the confidence to wear what you do and can handle the public side of it - irrespective of whether it is around people you know or not initially then you will eventually start to become bolder in your approach closer to home.

I spent two years dressing (to various degrees) in public but only when I was away on business where no one I knew would see me. Eventually I started to realise that it didn't matter who saw me because my area was safe enough so I ventured out in our local area (changing part way along the route or wearing limited items) and then out the door where my neighbours would see. I started afar and worked closer to home - and now am at the point I am no longer bothered who sees me because I am who I am and dress the way I do. If there is a problem, it is theirs not mine now.

[alwayshave]

I do care. A lot of this is some feeling of shame that is part of growing up Catholic. And while I was taught by Jesuits, which means critical thinking, that would have one realize that my dressing harms no one, I only go out after dark to catch a cab/uber when I cannot really be spotted by my neighbors. This limits going out to the fall and winter months. I know it should not be an issue but it is. Especially with a new neighbor, who moved in last fall, who is the ghost of Gladys Kravitz. She is in to everyone's business. Alas, the down side of living in a townhouse.

[Kate Simmons]

If course I care about my neighbors but not what they think of me. It's a free country last I heard.

[MsVal]

I don't care about what others think.
My wife cares about what others think
I care about what my dear wife thinks.

(I've been the source of her discomfort too many times already, and have a strong desire not to do it again.)

[Allison Chaynes]

I only care because I know my wife doesn't want to deal with the questions. So I compromise and try to wear things that could pass from a distance as male clothing, like certain shorts and workout attire. During the winter, it's mostly women's jeans, and I have no problem talking to the neighbors in them (I'm still in guy mode overall). Lately I've been wearing sports bras and the one question I got about it, I answered with an explanation about a back brace.

[charlenesomeone]

At the primary home yes, on the QT.
At second home, out in daytime a lot .

[Lori31]

If it is family and friends then yes, I care. But when to it comes to people I don't know, Who cares.

[Roberta Marie]

Yes, if I were honest with self, I would have to say that I do care what the neighbors think. However, I'm finding that, as I grow older, my need to express myself and my gender fluidity is starting to out weigh my need to have the acceptance of my neighbors. I am finding that I don't like looking around to make sure that "the coast is clear" before I step out the door. I'm finding that my need for freedom is starting to out way my need for approval.

However, my wife and kids do not have that same need for me to express my gender fluidity. My kids are afraid tat they will be embarrassed if their friends find out, and my wife does not want to be faced with the 10,000 questions and disapproval from her friends. So I have tried to take it slow, and not dress in town. However, now that the kids are grown and my wife is out of town for an extended period taking care of her convalescing mother, I am finding it harder and harder to live within those restrictions.