NOT Gay

[lingerieLiz]

Why is it that most here assume that if you enjoy cross dressing you are not curious about fem experiences. If one likes to dress and appear as female why would they not be attracted to being with a guy as any girl would fantasize about it. While you could argue that they would be bi it may be no more than an infatuation.
The infatuation of being female and wearing the garb is an elixir which can and will cause many to try and fulfill the role even when under normal condition it would be considered unconventional.

[DebbieL]

I’m not too sure how to write what I want to express, but I’ll do my best.
When I’m drab, I’m all guy in that I like women. No and’s, if’s, or but’s. JUST women.
But when I’m dressed, I like guys.

It's not unusual for someone who is transgender to experience changes in sexual preferennces. There are a couple of factors involved.

In my own case, Rex was pretty much asexual and Debbie was bisexual. However, as Rex I got the flirty looks with women, a polite nod in passing usually got me a smile. On the flip side, males represented a world of hostility to me. I could find Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan attractive, but they still occurred as potential threat, rejection, hostility.

To cope with the pain of being excluded from my girl friends, and to avoid hostility and violence of boys, I would find solitary persuits. Reading fiction books was hard too, because books for and about girls made me feel so lonely, and books about boys just made me even more angry and upset. As a result, I read a lot of non-fiction. I would read books about almost everything from chemistry, to weapons, to radio and electronics to cooking, crafts, and art. As I got older, I got interested in music and theater, as well as religion, not just the Christian teachings I had as a kid, but also alternative major and minor religions. I was particularly interested in the belief in reincarnation, such as the Hindus. I had even read a book on Black Magic that talked about committing suicide to transfer your soul into the body of a child. A little too dark for me. Though I did also see it alluded to in Children of the Corn, as well as a very few horror movies.

As a result, until about 8th grade, I was pretty much asexual. Kids used to call me "Sexy Rexy", because I was so UN-sexy. Most of my friends were much older, or adults, and we talked about radio, electronics, cooking, crafts, art, and music.

Eventually, my mother FORCED me to play with kids my own age. I had to play with kids my own age. Because girls were now encouraged to socialize with boys, I had less trouble interacting with girls, but the guys would give me all kinds of grief because I wasn't "making a play'. How could I tell ANYBODy that I liked the girls, but I wanted to BE a girl too.

In high school, because I was so femme, I got approached by gay boys quite frequently. At one point, at least once a week. I was always flattered by their attention, but would they be attracted to me if I was a girl? Probably not. To further confuse things, I was enjoying the "protection" of several gay jocks. Would they have been so willing to protect their social director if they knew I wanted to be a girl. And how would the girls feel?.

It wasn't until I was fully passing on a regular basis that I begin to experience men in a different way. They held the door for me, and smiled when they did it. They gave me complements on my outfits. They were NICE to me. They didn't see me as an inferior omega male, they saw me as a demure but still strong woman. Some men my own age, and slightly older even flirted with me. As a result, I began to see men less and less as a hostile threat.
I begin to notice that some men were kinda cute. I began to wonder what it might be like to kiss them. I'd thought about such things in high school, but REX wasn't terribly responsive to men or women. I dated the girls who were "Saving themselves", and they liked that I could give them pleasure without trying to push for the kind of sex they considered "real sex".

I even tried kissing a guy I did think was cute, but when he went for my crotch I reacted exactly the same as I did when women tried that. i experienced pain at their touch. I had to tell them NOT to touch that. I could please them, but not the other way around.

Even when a girlfriend who was very determined to take my virginity arranged for a scene where we had all the time we needed, I was unable to experience the pleasure as a man. I didn't orgasm, even though she did, and eventually I was too sore to continue. It wasn't until she tied me down and blindfolded me that I could begin to get lost in the fantasy of being her woman, and finally be able to really enjoy sex with her. Even then, I was so small, that our options were limited.

When I finally came out as Debbie, I met a few women who were VERY interested in Debbie, and were also a bit masculine. They had lower voices, wore bigger sizes, often wore jeans, but also knew how to be just feminine enough to be attractive to me.

So . . . I don’t consider myself “Gay”, not in the least. I’m not concerned with “gay rights” or any “rainbow” stuff.
Either I’m a guy, 100%, or a women, 100%.

Most of use have different sexual identity as well as preferences when we are en-femme. This is even more pronounced for those who are higher up the transgender scale.
Some transsexual MtFs actually hate their male parts so much that they struggle to enjoy any kind of sex as men.
On the other hand, in feminine mode, they experience their sexuality differently.
In fact, transsexuals seeking HRT are carefully evaluated to make sure that they will be able to deal with the side effects of T-Blockers, Estrogen, and Progesterone.
Once hormones are started, even the neurology changes. I won't go into details, but it's something quite exquisite, but could be frightening to someone who still liked
their "boy parts".

I know it’s all in my mind, but I don’t consider myself “gay” in the slightest.
How do you feel about the “gay” thing? It may not make any sense, but that’s just how I feel about it.
What about you? How do you feel about it?

I will admit that I have tried to have sex with both women and men as Rex, and as Debbie. As Rex I can barely experience pleasure.
As Debbie, I give pleasure more generously, and experience pleasure more intensely.
The few experiences I've had with men as Debbie were tainted - quirks of gay men (smells, hair, ...) didn't work for me.
At this point, I have a wonderful wife who is man enough AND woman enough for me. She loves being aggresive and seducing me, being in charge of it. She also loves it when I "show my appreciation" - though I sometimes get carried away (she's had 8 hernia operations as a result of too many too intense "belly whomper" orgasms.

I think an important factor is finding partners who can be attracted to either or both people. If your wife can't stand the sight of you "Pretty", but you have a guy who thinks you are the hottest thing he could ever imagine because you look like a woman but function like a man, it could be very easy to get lured into an affair with a "tranny chaser". (hate that term).

i'm lucky because I'm attracted to big beautiful women, and many of these women can enjoy being both masculine (comfortable) and feminine together. Lee often wears jeans, sweat shirt, and boots, and even sports a buzz cut, but she'll wear a lace camisole peaking out of the hoodie. She loves to drive, unless she wants to drink, in which case, she knows i'm a reliable designated driver. She loves to hold the door for me, and she loves to help me get seated (gracefully).. We love to go shopping together, and we support each other in picking out things that really work for each of us. It gets a bit interesting when she is the same size I am, because then she likes to steal my clothes. Last week I was packing for my business trip and couldn't find ANY pants, because she'd taken them all. So I had to wear skirts and dresses all week. You can guess that I was so broken hearted. ;-)

[Aubrey Skye]

I'm definitely 100% straight as well. However, when in femme mode I do tend to have some gay tendencies (or straight depending on how you look at it). But I would still have sex with a woman while dressed over a man any time. But my curiosities about being with a guy, at least as far as oral goes, does come out in femme mode.

[AmandaM]

I've commented on other threads of this sort that a straight sexual definition of "bi" is not sufficient to explain my feelings. I have said that a better term is half-female sexuality. Let me try to define that more fully. When I dress, I dress to the nines when possible. I want to feel the caress of the clothes against my body, feel my hips, feel my "new" breasts. As I dress I slowly "become" female. It's almost as if a flower opened. The wisp of the hair, the smell of makeup, the mesmerizing trance of the transformation. I become engulfed in femininity, and it's accompanying sensuousness 'of a female kind', I have become the girl on the cover of Cosmo. I am her, I am beautiful, I am sexy, I have her face and body. At that time, I "feel" fully female. Whether I go out, go shopping, sit at home, or feel frisky, I do it as a woman, not as a man in a dress, for I am no longer he. At that time, I desire sex with women, and sometimes with a man with me of course only a woman. In my mind, I am a woman, so why wouldn't I "perform" as one? This is how I would define bi when dressed.