Older CD's do you think you would have an easier time today getting out of the closet

[Aleca]

I was questioning this the other day and my answer might surprise some with the so much more support and knowledge today. My answer is no, I don't think it would be any easier because I would be the same person, have the same parents, have the same social network, have the same fears and anxieties. But it does seem easier and a lot less effortless now in just that I am 52 years old and wiser knowing it is really how we perceive ourselves, motivate ourselves, not what the world around us does. Oh, it doesn't hurt to have more social support but I see more and more everyday how it is up to ourselves to what we do with our crossdressing.

[Lucy Lou]

Hi, I am 52 also. The fact that there is the internet now makes so much, a lot easier. I struggled for years thinking about what I was doing and how wrong it was and that there must be something unnatural about me. But, and here's the thing, I found that I could not stop dressing. I purged a lot and do regret what I have thrown away.

This site helped me enormously, and I suddenly found that there was a whole community that was just the same as me and went through the same problems.

So, to comment on your observation: Coming out of the closet here is wonderful and is so much easier without the internet. Also, I can buy clothes, makeup, shoes etc on line and have no problems with having to go into a shop and being looked at and feeling terrified. So in many ways it is much better than it was 10,20, 30 years ago.

Lucy Lou xx

[NicoleScott]

No, without going into details, I find crossdressing "exciting", and that's a conversation I don't need to have with others who wouldn't understand it anyway, So I stay (keep my identity) in the closet.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

I also am in my mid-late 50's. I used to go out but never went clubbing. I did go shopping occasionally but usually only went for drives or over to a friends house. Then came the new rules (laws) for trucking and background checks for my licenses so I decided staying home with the one I Love is the better part of valor.

[Anna H]

No difference for me....i do as i like anyway. I'm just a bit
low-key about it, but I go out 'dressed' all the time.

I looked at how women dress here in any everyday normal
things they do....

no/little makeup, jeans, flats, plain tops, ponytails are common...
I even paint my nails a neutral color.

I don't have any desire to stand out, so i'm very plain looking.

It works very well for me!

[charlenesomeone]

It's easier now as society seems less likely to ridicule. Not always but less.
Been dressing off and on for awhile, but out in the RW just recently.

[Sarah Beth]

I'm 62 and I'm still "out" about it and won't be at least not where I live. It's no better here than it was 50 years ago and I'm not sure another 50 years will make any difference.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't think it's a big deal really but then again like the other Kate, I have no restrictions. It's just something I enjoy doing.

[paulaprimo]

without a doubt!! it is so much more acceptable today than when i was kid. people are much more tolerant, so many TG friendly places
and there are laws protecting us. forums like this one uniting us and giving us strength and confidence.
back in my day it was taboo. beating up a gay person, without conseguences, seemed to be the norm, and much worse if you were
a cd'er. there was no internet, so no strength in numbers. feeling you were alone and living in fear. it was a horrible way to grow up!

[MsPriscilla]

i'm 71 and i can say that the whole crossdressing thing is so much more open these days. Jeeps, I had nowhere to even find out about what I wanted to do, I just thought that I was very strange.

[TGMarla]

If the social climate then was what it is today, along with social media and the Internet, heck yeah it would have been much easier to come out of the closet, provided one wanted to do that in the first place. It's like Nicole said up above. Some of us don't want to be "out there" all that much, and prefer to keep this as a private pursuit. I'd never set foot outside prior to the advent of the Internet, and the interaction with others that it provided me. But since then, I've been out and about several times, and done so with very little fear and trepidation. Mind you, that's still not without ANY of that, but there was a time when doing so would have been unthinkable to me, and that's not the case anymore.

[Cheryl T]

I think that were I in my teens or early 20's now with all the available information and support I would definitely have been "out" at that age.
I would have loved to meet others then and not have felt so alone. Who knows where that may have led...

[Katey888]

Hey! Not so much of the 'older' thanks...

I'm not sure and I don't know - maybe one day I'll be able to say for sure.

I think generally society is more accepting today and there are certainly more safe LGBT-focused venues to help us along... But in other ways being younger has it's benefits... and generally I'd say ones contemporaries are more accepting when younger - by this time they're all a bit set in their ways. That can make us seem even more weird than we are...

Ask me again in another couple months - or actually I may just tell everyone...

Katey x

[kimdl93]

For me, yes, it's definitely easier. I couldn't have imagined stepping outside en femme twenty years ago. At that time I couldn't imagine even dressing completely. I just assumed I would look ludicrous. Now, whether through the process of maturing or gaining self acceptance, or both, I don't feel nearly the level of self doubt or harsh self criticism that kept me in the Closet for too long.

[Aleca]

I'm realizing how great the internet has become. Great as a stepping stone and catalysts for CD's but don't get too addicted to it. It is way different out there in the real physical world.

[NancyJ]

I've often thought that had I been born later then I would have had more access to information and experienced far less shame about my urges to dress. I believe that I would have been open about it b/4 getting married and would not have married a woman who was unsupportive. Would I have been "out" to friends, family, and general public? Probably not because it would have been a deterrent in my career. Had I been born 30 years later in a smaller body (I'm 6'3) I may have transitioned--that's my fantasy anyway. Nancy

[Sally24]

Since my first solid experiments were when I was 50 I would say with todays society I would have tried much sooner! I have been going OUT almost 10 years now and I can only imagine how different my life would have been if I was in my 20's now. It would have been nice to have my own long hair!

[flatlander_48]

I would vote for somewhat easier now. People know a bit more about sexual minorities than they used to. On average it still isn't that much, but is a lot better than 20-30 years ago. 25-30 people know that I am BI, but only 4 (and 1 is now deceased) know that I crossdress.

[Eringirl]

Put me in the "I think it is easier now" camp as well. The amount of information available, ability to source clothes and accessories world wide, more tolerant society and laws and work place policies to protect TGs make it easier I think. Now, I get that it is still an tough battle for individuals, but there are some many more "tools" available to inform and assist, like this forum, I think I would have had a much easier time of it for sure back then.

[RenneB]

It took me a bazillion baby steps to make it out of the closet...... Now it the 'net was invented back in the 70's, I know this timeline would be much different. I spent way too many years thinking I was the only one in the world born 'like this'.....

Once I found this forum and others in my neck of the woods, getting out and about is so much easier and way fun too.....

Renne.....

[Candice Mae]

Last I checked people are still people, I've seen people mock and harass Transgendered people, Couples still get divorced over TG issues, TG teens are still abandoned by their parents, and members on here have said their immediate family and friends are not accepting. You have to remember that although TG awareness has increased but, acceptance still varies. technology makes us aware of those people that are accepting. Before the internet people were limited to TV, news papers/magazines, and phone/word of mouth. Access to information was limited you didn't know much detail outside of your local area. There was people that were accepting you just weren't aware of them, cause the media had no reason to report on them.

Today information is right at our finger tips and available at any time. It can seam that acceptance has increased but in reality the percentage of change in the increased sample area is smaller then you would think.

I think the past is made out to be worse then it was due to limited exposure to the world beyond the horizon, and the present seen to be better because of increased access to people and information.

Also remember that people might not say or do anything when they pass you on the street, but only to mock you when your back is turned, is that person really accepting of TG people or just trying to be polite and not cause a scene?

At least being TG is no longer considered a mental illness.

[katie elouise]

I think the internet is a great way for people to access information on any thing at anytime ,so help is on hand with great sites like this one for tips and learning .
As for social acceptance I think its a little better . When I first ventured out dressed 20 years ago I was so self conscious that I felt every body was watching me ,to be fair looking back i`ve made to odd mistake or two lol , for me I don't think there is such a thing as an easier time, personally the key is confidence and it takes a long time and a great deal of effort to achieve .
I also think that personal acceptance being able to look in the mirror and love the person looking back that was my biggest hurdle to going out .
The next time you look in the mirror say to yourself wow today lady you look good ,even if you feel you are a woman of little importance you are still great.
Being able to go out en femme in a lovely dress , great underwear , nice make-up , manicured , gorgeous shoes, good posture with confidence and most important a lovely smile to all those " admires " don't wait for society to accept you, go out and show the world just how beautiful you really are as a human being .

[Ricki Dove]

For me I do think it is easier. I didn't start cross dressing until after I retired from work. I know it would have been rough to come out where I worked at with all the negative attitudes about these issues. I also have more time to work with it and enjoy it. I have been living for almost four years in an apartment building for retired people. Most of them are women. I had already been living here for over three years when I stared cross dressing so I think that was good that they got to know me before I started cross dressing. Most of them liked me to start with. I think that helps. I'm still the same person. I haven't gone out of my apartment dressed CD yet, hopefully before too much longer and I hope I will be well received! I think most of them know by now and are alright with it.

[devida]

I never was in the closet. When I started wearing women's clothes regularly a few years ago I just wore them, taking direction from my SO if she felt I was too femme or my makeup was too heavy. But I usually wear a mixture of men and women's clothes and I don't really consider myself a cross dresser. I'm just me, non binary and free to present in androgynous and unisex clothes. I have never had anyone say anything negative to me. This may be because I am tall, fit, 64 years old, tattooed, pierced and confident. I don't expect aggression, derision or anything except curiosity, compliments or neutrality. I am sure the social cues I project pretty much unconsciously with politeness and deference. It is, after all, the way I try to treat others.

Or it may be much simpler. It may be that people really don't care how you dress as much as some of the members of this forum think.

This is not to discount the obvious danger that trans people experience. We all need to make sure we are safe. YMMV. But in my personal life I do not experience people being unpleasant.

[mariehart]

Or it may be much simpler. It may be that people really don't care how you dress as much as some of the members of this forum think.

I think that's true and has been true for a long time.

I do think it would be better for me. I certainly think I would have realised I was TS a lot sooner. Whether or not I would go through with it is another matter. I still remain very nervous about appearing in public and coming out to people but there would be greater opportunities to do so these days.

Looking back on my life it's clear that many people saw me as 'different' perhaps effeminate most of my life. Perhaps they thought I was gay but few mentioned it in any way and often it was an oblique comment. In recent years with greater acceptance of LGBT there have been direct questions. Most of which I denied. It was clear many suspected it but never felt the need to address the issue. Which perhaps is a pity. Maybe if someone was direct and simply said: 'You come across as effeminate. Are you gay or something?' I might have had to face up to it.

Definitely in this country it's a better time for issues like this. Only yesterday my sister in law, who's a college lecturer mentioned than an email was circulated relating to a FtM person currently in transition who was only to be addressed by his new name and not his old female name.

That's a change. Also when I was young homosexuality was illegal in this country until 1993. It was never ever enforced but it was on the books. But this state still does not recognise gender change despite losing a court case in 2007.

So there's a bit to go.