Are you proud of yourself?

[Kate Simmons]

Are you proud of yourself as a CDer and with what you have accomplished in that respect? Or do you feel perhaps that you should more direct your energies to what you can accomplish as a man? For myself I have accomplished all the goals I set out to do as a man in this life. Now I am just coasting and enjoying being myself and being independent now that I've been retired from the work force. I don't disdain any of my accomplishments as a man far from it especially in connection with my family. However, for some, there comes a time when we want to develop our whole selves as full spectrum people. For myself that included getting in touch with all of my feelings finally and taking ownership of them. I basically used the CDing as a vehicle to accomplish that as I know that simply wearing clothes doesn't make a person this or that. Who you are comes from within. Many may see CDing as a handicap or hindrance to their relationship with their SO or the SO may see it that way. Realizing what our priorities are is the key to understanding and that cannot be over stated. In any case I can truthfully state that I am happy to be who I am but it didn't get that way without a lot of honest work and soul searching. Are you proud of yourself?

[Adriana Moretti]

As a CD...I am proud of myself...I have come a long way in the year I have been back since my last purge, I lost like 40 lbs, I am healthier and happier. My guy side though has taken a downward spiral....my work has been suffering and I feel no creative energy (its part of my job TO create...and I feel nothing...I think most of that energy has shifted to the girl, which is honestly starting to bother me. I usually slump creatively over the summer anyway, but I am hoping the cooler weather brings some inspiration to the guy side of things ( it usually does). This has been on my mind...maybe its like writers block. And as a guy.....no...im not proud of myself at all....im still a starving artist...and live paycheck to paycheck, have no health insurance .....and conforming to the norm is not an option for me...i worry for the future....especially retirement, cause to me..it does not exist......ok thats my pity party for the day....

[ArleneRaquel]

I am very proud that I'm a CD, it has made me more aware of health issues and I feel that I'm more compassionate as a lady.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm not necessarily "proud" of myself as there are a ton of things I would have liked to have done differently in my life. But I am fine with where I'm at now. I feel life has been good to me. I have enough loved ones in my life, and I have the freedom to do as I like. I'm older and wiser now with a killer wardrobe and I know how to use it! Oh yeah, I have a hairdresser now and he makes me look fabulous! Life is good, very good indeed.

[Jaylyn]

A wise one once said that pride comes before destruction.... With that being said I feel that my accomplishments are an on going thing. I, even before before my retirement at age 52 thought that I had accomplished what I set out to do in life. ( maybe my standards were set low) but now as I turn 65 I see new goals in my life journey. Every day I get up and set something that want to get done that day. I feel just setting can make us old way before we are. I am one that has never been satisfied with a work till it is finished and it has been finished perfectly. I am way too much of a perfectionist. I am finding that my dressing has really drove me up the wall of being the perfectionist. I hate half dressing but am learning some days I must accept that. I am learning that I have to come to terms with probably never coming out, my family members would be devastated. I am finding out a lot about myself that I never realized I wanted. I'm not as scared of dying anymore as I was when I was supporting six other individuals, I believe now that finally can see that my work and being the family elder has and still does affect those six others and I think more of their feelings. I am finding that what I have done in life has been a good and honest work. I'm not proud of a few times that I felt the work wasn't worth while but it put bread on the table. I think pride in oneself and being proud of our accomplishments are two different things. Looking back at the family I have had a part in raising is rewarding. The older I get the more sentimental I am getting. I look at all ten of my Grandkids and see life for what it really is and meant to be. I think that as I have aged my wisdom has increased in seeing what life is all about. I am now happy with with myself also but am wise enough to know that happiness is a mental thing that has to come from inside our selves and every one can be just about as happy as they allow themselves to be. In closing I'm going to state that my pride is my happiness at my age.

[Sonya]

I am at a similar position as Adriana, my work is suffering and my motivation levels are way down in my everyday boy mode and I do worry about my future a lot. There are bunch of other issues which I have to address, maybe it is just midlife crisis or I am just burnt out. I am more upset to myself as I know that I am capable and have a lot of potential to achieve my goals.

[Gypsy Sam]

Such a challenging question. The imagination perceives a image as a CDer, and fearful/rational thought guides the behavior. What I have accomplished as a man is creditable. Value in some wins and efforts completed that leave a legend to family,friends,and other associates. Far from the dreams of younger years that envisoned so much more. Making a effort for self actualization through community involvement and mentoring young associates to reach their potential. No plans to retire as expenses will not allow for that. Admire Kate Simmons perception and self image as posted here. Motivated by it and strive to learn from it.

[Beverley Sims]

Kate,
I am quite proud of what I have been able to achieve when I was younger.
I passed as a girl and impressed those around me and my esteem was better when dressed than as a man.
Even today I do not have the guilt feelings or low esteem that some have although being a bit more rough around the edges I do not look as flash as years ago.

[CarlaWestin]

Are you proud of yourself as a CDer and with what you have accomplished in that respect? Or do you feel perhaps that you should more direct your energies to what you can accomplish as a man?

I've never really thought of connecting pride with CD'ing. I have eliminated the, ......and I'm not proud of it, from CD'ing. CD'ing just is. As far as life accomplishments, there's a lot in the rearview mirror and many more in the windshield. I plan on working until I'm 70 which means staying healthy. Or I could sell off everything and have a simpler life and retire earlier. Then what?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, I am satisfied with how my life has turned out my family, my wife of 50yrs., my career and my dressing of over 67yrs.
Almost 72 and retired 5.5years now, LIFE IS GREAT !

[susan54]

I am proud of my achievements but it takes the form of feeling I have done something useful with my life. I am happy with the way I look in women's clothes but though I love this, it is no more than a hobby to be - a fairly obsessive one but still a hobby. I know it is different for some others. Though i frequently go out dressed and everything works, it is covert - I go out but am not 'out'. It would be wonderful to wear these clothes normally but it would affect the credibility of my real purpose in life, and take away from these achievements and - this is important - make it more difficult for me to achieve more. I am on the brink of a significant breakthrough professionally and I don't want to put that at risk. But all I have achieved I have achieved without it being at the expense of anyone else. I realise that I have a charmed life and I appreciate it.

I believe that every man that goes out in public in women's clothes moves society forward whether or not they go as far as dressing and behaving as a woman, by normalising the situation - as long as they behave properly otherwise - being nice works wonders. All who do this can take some satisfaction or pride or whatever you want to call it.

[Eringirl]

Thought provoking thread....If you asked me this question 6 months ago, I probably would have given a different answer as I was not happy with who I was. But after letting Erin back into my life after 10 years of hibernation/denial, I am in a much better place for sure. I am much more in touch with my emotions and more compassionate and caring about myself and others. My family is happy and healthy. My wife is so happy that I am happy and more engaged and there for her. For her, if that takes a mix of male me and Erin, so be it. Work is going well as I feel I am making more positive contributions and getting along much better with everyone, making the work atmosphere much more enjoyable. I am happy with my accomplishments as a person. Sometimes I think that I don't cross dress, I just dress. For who I feel I am. Do I have regrets, of course I have regrets. If I had a chance for a "do-over", there are things I would do differently. I have gone through a lot of crap in my life (haven't we all). But if someone said I could be where I am today, but only if i had to go through all the crap again, I would do it in a heart beat. To have my wife and kids, that would be a no brainer.

I try to worry about what I can change, not what I can't. Life is short and you are dead a long time. I don't want to be spending a lot of time asking my self "what if" in my sunset years, so trying to be all I can be now.

Wow...pretty heavy stuff....

on a cheerier note.... HAPPY MONDAY everyone!!

Erin

[Kate Simmons]

Years ago my greatest dream for when I got older was to be a happy doting Grandmother. For all intents and purposes that has been accomplished and I couldn't be happier.

[NicoleScott]

We read a lot of "this is who I am" and "I was born this way". What's to be proud of? Better to be content than prideful.

[Alice Torn]

At 60, still a lone bachelor, and from a very anti social, somewhat tyrannical negative , resentful father,, who at almost 94 , is still going strong, though in a wheelchair, and i still have to help, though he never wanted sons, I am glad for my pets i have had, and have two cats. Glad i survived , though on low paying jobs, had my own window washing and yardwork business 26 yrs, near Seattle, though was more part time, started dating at age 27, and did date many ladies, mostly much older than me, I can say i am glad i survived. But, i never was happy on physical labor jobs much. I am artistic, and did not use my potential. I also loved to write. I also was a late bloomer, and did not get good at sports until after high school, dreamed of being a knuckle ball pitcher. My father and brothers were jealous of me, and i sabotaged myself over and over, as i had self hate, and did not want to do well, so they would be more jealous, and bitter. SO, I kept myself down. At age 51, i bought my first thrift store dress, then heels, then a used wig, and have been dressing part time ever since. My artistic talent, and creativity is used well, in dressing to become a tall, attractive lady, in classic dresses. But, it goes against my religion, so, as usual, i have conflict. Conflict over many things, never having a SO or wife, unending father issues, mother issues, religious, guilt, shame, sorrow, paranoia. And now, on disability, low income, not mush food, constant car trouble. But, seeing the living hell in Syria, Iraq, Ukraine, Central America, etc, I must see that i have it pretty good, and have little to complain about, compared to people in those places. However, i would be in denial, to not see that i have serious issues, and have been suicidal at times, even. Am i proud of what i have accomplished with CDing? I am satisfied that i have been successful in creating quite a good representation of what i would like in a woman, or if i had been born one, but, it is mostly on the outside. I have come to think a bit more like a lady, though, more sensitive. I still envy the one attribute of women i do not have. They are so social, are seldom loners, like men are. I envy them for their social connectedness, that i lack. Ironically, dressing up as a woman, causes me to be more of a loner, disconnected! It is a mixed bag.

[Nikki A.]

I'm proud of my kids turning out ok and instilling the right ethics for them to be successful in their lives. On the male side I'm pretty content although there are certain decisions I would have done differently in hindsight.
On the CD front, I am proud of myself that I have the courage to express this side of myself and go out in public. I do wish I could be completely open about it. Not that I'm not proud about it but there are times when it could be a hindrance in my work life and personal life. I do know it has limited the dating possibilities but I'm at the point of my life in that if my potential partner can not accept this part of me then it really won't work in that I won't suppress it or want to hide it from my SO.

[Dorit]

Thanks for such a thought provoking question. As Jaylyn said the word pride can have some negative consequences. But maybe the intended question was more: are you happy, satisfied, pleased with the feminine side of your personality and what you have done with it. To that I can answer yes, finally after all these years. It is wonderful to accept yourself as you are and be at peace with yourself. I can only express hope that those who have shared their current struggles and unhappiness will also some day be able to say yes!

[Jenniferathome]

I have no goals in cross dressing. I am a cross dresser, that's it.

[Teresa]

Kate I'm losing the guilt and shame of CDing because it's suffering over something we can do nothing about !
I feel I've achieved enough in guy mode to say there's another side that deserves some time ! I don't want to walk away from manhood, my famliy still need that part of me. When I look at my avatar I'm proud of what I can achieve and want to enjoy more of what that brings !

Adriana I understand your comments, I'd be booked almost every weekend and sometimes in the week to photograph weddings for thirty years. It was difficult when part of the brain was somewhere else, I just felt on autopilot somedays, but I had a wife and family to support so I just dug my toes in searched for inspiration and carried on !!

[Kate Simmons]

Even with the CDing part of my life I can never be totally satisfied as I have to keep learning and reinventing myself as a person. That in itself is something to be proud of and I'm not meaning that in a boastful way but in a way of self understanding. None of us can remain static forever because we stop growing as a person if we don't make personal progress. I'm happy to be able to use my experience to help others if possible. Even so I don't have all of the answers and never will but getting down to understanding the human condition with more than just a surface knowledge is something of value.

[Lexi Moralas]

I have always though of my girl side a a whole separate person ( although I do know it's still me , it just helps to keep everything organized in my mind )
My girl side is very proud of what I've accomplished in developing a female presentation.
But I also feel my guy side has suffered for it. On top of the usual problems it has caused with my SO. I know if I had focused all the energy spent on cding into my guy life I could have accomplished so much more in life than what I have.
And I feel like my family has suffered for it. And that is a tough pill to swallow.

[Nadine Spirit]

I am proud that I allow myself to be me.

[cassandra54]

I am very proud of what I've accomplished as a CD, but I would prefer a different term, like gender fluid or femulating. But that is just one facet of how incredible my life has changed and become over the last 7 years. Like you said, there's a whole spectrum. I believe that my life has a great deal of balance. I am recently widowed in a sense and now I can be retired if I want to. To me retirement means that I can do the things that I'm passionate about and hopefully achieve great things in those areas.

Basically it comes down to several areas. I have a new love interest and she's supportive of my fem self. Although I promised myself that whoever I became involved with would know of this. I believe my life is a spiritual journey and looking forward to the next mission, wherever that takes me. My guy self and girl self continue to mature and grow as we continue to develop our talents and abilities.

Finally I no longer have conflict or stress in my life. Not about my fem self, my guy self, getting a job, what people think about me or any of that. I'm enjoying my life and myself.

[kimdl93]

Scandinavians are not, by nature, prideful. If we allow ourselves to express pride, it's usually in our children. I honestly do t look at my life in terms of accomplishments...rather in terms of meeting my obligations. For the most part, I feel I have met my obligations.

I don't see my being transgendered as a handicap. I certainly didn't always view this part of myself so charitably. Getting past that and learning to accept myself has made life so much easier.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm still working on it. On the good side I've become a lot more supportive of others in the community and try to help where I can. On the side that still needs attention I need to be a bit more honest with family and friends so I'm not just all talk. I need to be more "out" if I'm not going to be a hypocrite. As for what I've accomplished for myself as a crossdresser, there isn't much there to be prideful over, just satisfied with. As a person there is still a lot of growing to do, so I can't get comfortable with what I've become, that will lead to becoming stationary and I'm not ready for that.