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Thread: To be a woman you got to have Junk in the Trunk.

  1. #1
    Nondressing CDer
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    To be a woman you got to have Junk in the Trunk.

    Every so often hanging out at a Cross-dressing message board you are bound to hear stories of those who seemingly wake up one morning and feel their life was a lie, they have been repressing the woman inside, and decide to either cross-dress 24/7 or start to transition. These stories can be surprising and can appear as if this decision is just coming out of the blue. Every closeted cross-dresser is keeping a part of their life a secret and most will never make such dramatic life altering changes. But these stories do tend to make the rest of us pause or at least it does me.

    Sometimes I find myself doing a mental and emotional inventory. I go back into that metaphorical closet, go way in the back, reach up to that top shelf and pull down that locked trunk marked cross-dressing. I open it up to look to see if I locked some woman in there. My mother always told me never to lock a woman in a trunk unless you are a magician then you can stick swords in it or cut it in half if you want.

    I find only clothes in there, just clothes. Clothes are too superficial to make up anything of real substance. So is the real problem not hiding cross-dressing but something more? My guess is that there has to be more junk in their trunks then just clothes. Reading many post here it seems that there are those here that cut off any iota of what could be construed as female behavior, mannerisms, tastes, interests, emotions, etc... And they lock those away in the trunks too. These to me are the real things about a person to repress that can cause danger in the future, not clothing. But I suspect that they get tied in with the clothing so it becomes a package deal. There lock away in the metaphorical trunk is the spirit of a woman complete with wardrobe, growing and festering until the trunk can hold her no more. And just like one of those horror movies where a driver hits a person and hides the body only to be haunted by the ghost some years later. Their spirit torments the driver then possesses the driver taking over his life. I think there are a few dozen stories with that theme on Fictionmania.

    I consider myself fortunate; throughout my struggles with cross-dressing I have been able to keep my yin and yang in balance. I try not to think of having a male side or a female side I keep them well blended like yogurt with fruit. But this also could be a problem. When I would dress I didn't feel any different in how I wanted to express myself. I didn't feel girly. Rather than the clothes expressing a part of me they just made me feel weird and not like myself. Perhaps separating the girl part allows for a much fuller experience when dressing. Perhaps if you are a cross-dresser referring to your feminine side in the third person or by {insert female name here} is they way to enjoy cross-dressing.

    I may be reading more into this referencing one's female self in the third person or by {insert female name here}. I have no doubt it is a very convenient way of organizing what one does in drab and what one does in drag. But what if there is more to it? What if all of this "I am going to have a {insert female name here} day this weekend", or "Going introduce the SO to {insert female name here} tonight" is a sign of a fracture. Now this is just a hypothesis and a question. Male time seems like dull work, responsibility time, slugs, snails, and puppy dog tails. While {insert female name here} time is fun, relaxing, sugar, spice, and everything nice. Could such associations skew the balance to favor {insert female name here} time more and more over time to make one want to never have male time?

    I'll stick with the balanced life, Yin and Yang in harmony. I think it the best way to prevent some future drama. And that would be my advice to young closeted Cross-dressers out there; you can lock clothes in a trunk but you can't lock a woman in a trunk its not healthy and its illegal . You may find that you can't or don't want to dress in public which is fine but don't hide any other feminine aspect of yourself. Sing that Beyoncé song when it come up on the jute box, order that fuzzy naval in front of the guys from work, let that tear fall at the end or the Notebook.

    Lastly three questions for you all.

    1. What do you think. Is it repressing the clothes or a female side that will cause a cross-dressers mid-life crisis. or is it both or neither, or something else.

    2. Separating ones male and female sides, harmless, harmful, or helpful?

    3. Who thought this post was going to be about some butt padding technique, or about feminine derrières?

    Que Sir Myx-A-lot
    Last edited by ReluctantDebutant; 09-20-2014 at 07:28 PM.

  2. #2
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    You write very well for a ??, CD/TG/TV/TS/Gender Queer, or whatever, not that is bad!! LOL

    1. Since I believe that one is or is not TS, and that it may take a while for some to correctly self identify, that definitely could be a type of mid-life crisis as that realization disrupts their whole life that they have constructed to-date. For a CD, just the hiding and fighting what they are could also cause a mid-life disruption to their previous world.

    2. Separating is probably mostly harmless, but since we all fit in somewhere along that oft mentioned "spectrum" under the TG umbrella, for some it may also be a big issue.

    3. Well .... "junk in the trunk" sounds a little like what one has in the panties or boxers!! LOL
    Last edited by AllieSF; 09-20-2014 at 09:25 PM.

  3. #3
    new girl in town cassandra54's Avatar
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    Well, here's my two cents worth.

    1. Lots of people have midlife crisis. I think crossdressing or deciding that they're a woman trapped in a man's body and need surgery to correct it, is just one of the many ways that some men address this. The might get to a point where they realize that they repressed a feminine part of the personality. Who knows for sure. But there's lots of other ways men deal with midlife crisis too, like deciding they're bisexual, having a mistress, buying a sports car or taking up something like cycling or scuba diving. I think it all comes from finding that so much of your life was missing while you were building a life that you forgot about life itself. I'm kind of going through something like this in the sense that my life is in transition from working stiff to retiree. There's no more challenge in life. Having to work and sweat out how I was going to pay my bills was difficult at times, but it kept me going. This year, I could have pretty much dressed 24/7. That didn't happen, although I did dress a whole lot more this year and spend a whole lot more money on it. However, I did more things as a guy that I normally wouldn't have had time to do, including nothing at all. Sometimes just vegging out and thinking about things is great, even if it's not productive.

    2. I try to be the same person no matter what clothes I am wearing. I have a feminine side and a masculine side and they both live happily in my body. I've learned that my unique emotional and mental makeup, makes me a very special person. Of course being retired gives me more time to learn how to act like a gentle man. My girlfriend did not have to "meet' Cassandra. I just changed clothes.

    3. Yes I thought this might be about butt padding. Personally I think the whole idea of that is ridiculous. As I commented in another thread, I was standing in line at the movies. I was behind three women. Only one of the had butt that was noticeable, well shaped and round. And she was the mother with three kids. It just didn't look natural. The other women were just average looking and didn't have "junk in the trunk". Your point is well made. All of the other thoughts and emotions that go along with acting like a woman do not have to be locked away with the clothes. Having some empathy, compassion, kindness and even crying is good for men no matter what they do or don't do. Like you said, balance is so very important.
    Last edited by cassandra54; 09-20-2014 at 08:21 PM.
    man, i feel like a woman

  4. #4
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    Some dudes may spend an exorbitant amount of cash on an exotic sports car to quell their mid-life crisis, or do any number of other silly things. But one thing dudes do NOT do as a result of a mid-life crisis is transition.

  5. #5
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    I think the term 'mid life crisis' is way overused. We have many such points in our lives when we must make a decision about which way we will direct our attention. But for some odd reason, when we make such decisions between the ages of say, 35 and 60 all of a sudden people consider it a crisis.
    1. at some point, we all decide whether to continue crossdressing the same as we have been, increase the incidence of it, decrease it, or consider transitioning. It doesn't appear to be limited to a certain age; in fact, many do it earlier in their lives rather than later. So much for the mid life crisis concept. While I'm on that subject, I'll address the younger girlfriend/expensive sports car thing; it's not a mid life crisis that makes us get those things, we always wanted them, it's just that as we reach middle age, we can then afford to get them. No crisis involved.
    2. For those who separate their female and male behaviors, it's just something they must do because they are not comfortable with the idea that they may be homosexual or transsexual. It's not their fault. We have it drummed into our skulls all our life that it's absolutely unacceptable to be either of those things, so we tell ourselves that no matter what, we can't be. We just can't. So we create an imaginary other self to blame it on.
    3. yes, I thought it was going to be about butt padding, and was going to complain that I am one of the guys who like slimmer girls, instead of Kim Kardashian types with huge butts that, as they age, start to resemble a shelf.

    And yes, I am one of those who bought an expensive sports car in 'middle age'. I wanted one since I was 15. I had to wait another 30 years before I could afford it. But when I could, why should I not buy it? Just to appease the women of the world who think I'm insecure or something, I should keep on driving a boring old family sedan? When I have no family to tote around? Baloney. I wanted an exotic sports car. I worked hard. I deserve to have what I want. Period.
    Mid life crisis. Hmmm. It's funny. As women reach middle age, they get all kinds of support, dye their hair, botox, plastic surgery to help them feel better about themselves. But guys get squat, and should we decide to get something that WE want, it's called a mid life crisis of insecurity. What a load of bullsh!t.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-21-2014 at 12:12 AM.

  6. #6
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    1. I feel at least for me, that I've been conditioned as young boy of what I should and shouldn't do by my older brother. Before that, I was more like my mom's daughter than a son. Riding english-style horseback riding (that includes the outfit), learning to cross-stitch, playing with more girly toys than toys for boys, etc. When I lost interest in those things, I'm not sure if it was because I truly didn't want to explore my more traditionally feminine emotions. I hope I haven't had a midlife crisis yet but I think what I went through was more of an awakening.

    2. I still sometimes have trouble letting my feminine side out while in guy mode, even in the safety of my own home. My fiancé sometimes refers to my feminine side in the third person but I try to remind her that's not really a separate personality, it's something that's always has been a part of me, I was just too afraid to show it. That being said, I don't think having separate sides is a bad thing, it can help keep elements from crossing over when the intention is to remain separated.

    3. I totally opened this thinking is was going to be about whether is was a good idea to have a big butt to pass as feminine. Lol

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    If you are really transsexual, at a certain point, you really don't have a helluva lot of choice about whether or not you transition. You just don't.

    BTW, generally speaking, "junk in the trunk" - a very popular attribute for pre-op trans women, as it so happens - is the disfiguring defect I'd most like to have surgery to correct.

  8. #8
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Sometimes we make things more complex and convoluted when we try to analyze too much. Just enjoy being who you are and go with the flow of the feelings. Deep feelings are really what generates CDing. Try not to second guess it, just do it and if we pay attention self understanding comes as a result. We have to know who we are before we can make changes and adjustments otherwise it becomes chaotic and whimsical.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  9. #9
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Well said RD...

    I think you've hit a few good points there that have been discussed recently in other threads... particularly regarding the idea that all CDers are repressing a desire to transition... Nope - just because one might think about it conceptually, doesn't mean it defines who we want to be. And your points about the male/female 'split' and use of third person references - I don't think you should read too much into that as I do think most folk are like me in using the third person as a linguistic gimmick. If everyone just wrote: "I went shopping today..." that would have to be qualified as male or female presentation for many of us - so for most it's easier to say "Katey went shopping today.." as that hopefully makes it clear... But you make a good point about the escapism aspect and I do think there's some truth in that. If one is presenting a completely different appearance (especially if closeted) it is, by it's nature, a shift into 'someone else' and old self (and some of the concomitant feelings) are left behind, at least for a short time... Yes, it's escapism: like watching a good movie or playing a video game - it's totally absorbing and - for many - has a certain excitement associated with it, whether through the fear of discovery, the joy of being out and interacting, or anything else...

    Is it repression that causes a crisis? Yes - I'm sure it can be, but crisis does not necessarily equate to transition as many others have testified about the angst they have felt but have found it satisfied by much less.

    Separating aspects of persona? Extremely harmful - but I think most people just project different aspects of their persona at different times and in different situations. The ones who achieve complete separation are probably the ones to steer clear of! If we accept there is no stark binary of male/female persona then I think you can being to see those different aspects in everyone, not just us.

    Butt padding? No - I thought it was more a 'baggage in the caboose' idea - as in psychological baggage... although I think many of us probably carry a fair bit of excess baggage there too...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    To answer question one it's not the repressing of the clothes that causes the problem its repressing the sexual connection that gives me the problems ! I posted a thread about many CDers appearing to come out in their forties ! To me now in my early sixties I'm saying I've done my good husband/ dad bit so what about some time for the part of me that has been repressed for so long !

    Not sure about the separation question ! As a male wanting to wear different clothes feels harmless, not being able to is harmful !

  11. #11
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi RD,

    Great post, well thought out and well written. Firstly:

    Who thought this post was going to be about some butt padding technique, or about feminine derrières? - You got me there as that was my first thought


    1. What do you think. Is it repressing the clothes or a female side that will cause a cross-dressers mid-life crisis. or is it both or neither, or something else.

    Regarding this I can't really speak for anyone else but I do know that I was definitely not clothes as for the 32 years I have been repressing this as I never dressed or collected female clothes . . . I just beat it down and threw myself into my work to the point of becoming so work oriented that I slowly became despondent about my relationship with my wife, I became bitter, angry and somewhat mean until it all imploded last year. So it is more that I was repressing the female identity and not the clothes. I will qualify this statement "female identity" as not so much acting girly (in the stereotypical sense) but just being a decent person. Now I am not saying men cannot be good people and when my wife first met me I was happy, go lucky, empathetic, supportive, and a whole host of behaviors we tend to think are female but we really know they are just good human behaviors. In my case over the 32 years I went the opposite direction and manifested hyper stereotypical masculine behavior to help contain the female identity.

    2. Separating ones male and female sides, harmless, harmful, or helpful?

    I will sometimes refer to myself using my girl name in such way as "Isha time" "Isha day" and whatnot. However, it is not separating the sides but merely drawing a juxtaposition of there is a girl me and a boy me. The two identities may present differently but we have the same behaviors . . . I like zombie movies so boy and girl me like zombie movies. I like Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes and both boy and girl me were ecstatic when they returned to the menu in September. So for me it is harmless as I know I am the same person. Now if someone is feeling as though they are two distinct personalities and are beginning to have black out periods when they don't remember what happened when dressed en femme . . . that is a different story.

    Hugs

    Isha

  12. #12
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    @sometimes miss: That was quite a little fit you threw in reaction to my post. Wow. But here is the thing - you *completely* missunderstood my words, which sometimes happens (see what I did there? Was that clever or what?).

    If you read my post as it was written, you will notice that my blanket, general statement applies only to those suffering from so-called mid-life crises, and it is qualified as such.

    How you arrived at the conclusion that I meant any middle-aged dude who purchases a sports car does so only because of crises is beyond me, but that is NOT what I meant, and it is NOT what I wrote.

    As for you - yay you that you bought your dream car. That's awesome. Seriously. And I'm happy for you. Taking you at your word, you have worked hard, you always wanted one, you could afford it, so life is grand. You have every right to enjoy the fruits of your labor. And again, my post does not suggest in any way whatsoever that you do not have such a right.

    I, too, bought a nice sports car. Like you, I worked hard, I always wanted one, and I could afford it. It had nothing to do with crises.

    Oh, and just in case your wondering, middle-aged chicks can buy sports cars, too.

    Vroom vroom . . . .

  13. #13
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    1. Why do we often see change as a crisis? I never saw Tina coming. Her arrival shocked and amused my wife and me, but her obviousness dawned on us immediately upon seeing her. It was really a terrific moment, one we shared and was no crisis at all beyond my realizing how very little I knew and what it is like to be transgendered. I would call it a moment of clarity and not restricted to midlife.

    2. "Two applications running on the same database" That is my wife's explanation of how the masculine and feminine sides of her husband operate.My day to day actions, we have observed, are more natural in one gender or the other, for the most part. Think of it this way: my actions were mixed in one presentation for 55 years, so it's a breath of fresh air to split them! Tina has her own life, and we like it that way.

    3. I read the title and couldn't figure out how this thread would stay within the guidelines!

  14. #14
    Nondressing CDer
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    Thank you all for your responses so far.

    By midlife crisis I mean the one unique to CDers and TGers. Perhaps midlife crisis wasn't the best choice of words. Midlife surprise, midlife unexpectedality, midlife coarse change? No it doesn't have to happen midlife, late 40's 50's early 60's but it usually does. Whatever you want to call this phenomenon of folks who seem to out of nowhere just explode out of a seeming quiet quaint closeted life to want to show the world {insert female name here} by dressing more in public or taking the steps needed to have SRS to finally let {insert female name here} live. This is not going to happen to all or even a majority of cross-dressers. The surprise and unexpected nature of these stories makes it seem like a lightning strike with CDers waiting and hoping not to be hit. But it isn't lightning its a boiler explosion. And I don't think the clothes are enough to get the boiler hot enough to build that much pressure I believe it another fuel that builds up the steam. I think a judicious use of a safety valve can do a lot to prevent future explosions. I think it would also do a lot for those to control the build up of pressure so those with a hidden GID can have the right amount of steam to get them over the hills and into the valley of life they seek without having to pick up the piece of a broken boiler at the bottom of the hill.

  15. #15
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    My history on this forum is such that it matches the profile you have described quite closely.

    Several years ago I even composed an OP which I entitled "My Blessed Sanctuary that is My Closet," espousing what I believed to be the virtues of my existence within *my* closet. And really, that post, and all the posts like it that I submitted here were all a big, giant crock, and a total joke.

    The reality was that I was desperately trying to convince myself that I was a crossdresser, because I simply couldn't handle or deal with the alternative.

    And that has been the pattern of my life - run, hide, denial, and suppression. Up until the past couple of years, I have lived my life in fear. In fear of the world, in fear of others, in fear of my friends, in fear of my family, and perhaps most of all, in fear of myself.

    I let no one in. No one. Including myself.

    What's funny, though, is that I knew these things about myself way back in middle school, high school, and undergrad. But it was a different era back then. There was no internet. Trans-related education was basically non-existent. Such things were on nobody's radar. And when the issue did occasionally rear up, it was in the context of freaks, two-bit side-show carnival acts, and really bad day time television.

    I bought into all of the propaganda. I bought into would society *taught* me. I believed the world was right to be wary of trans-folk and all those unfortunate souls who were cursed as different, and I believed that *I* was the one in the wrong. I viewed myself as an abomination. I felt terrible and debilitating shame. I felt broken beyond redemption and repair. And I could not reconcile my life (such that it was), with everything and everyone around me.

    So like others that may seem to fit the profile you have written about, I shut myself down. I locked my insides up tight. Closed for business. And I put all of my time and energy into diversions designed to keep myself from myself. In my mind, I was *manning up,* and I spent the next twenty years of my life in total dude mode over-compensating in crazy, stupid, meaningless ways. I mean, I couldn't have anyone question my *manhood,* could I? Most of all, I couldn't have myself question it, because *everything* was contingent upon it. Or so I thought . . . .

    But as powerful as denial and suppression can be, there IS a price to be paid. And in my case, and those such as me, it is a rather large and painful price.

    Still, it is a necessary one, and with the benefit of hindsight, it is one that I wish I could have worked through much earlier in my life.

    Anyways, one cannot deny and suppress one's true nature for eternity. It's too hard. It requires too much energy. And it is taxing beyond belief. It is also among the most unhealthy and self-defeating things one can do. But do it I did, until I could no longer maintain the act and the façade.

    In other words, my *defenses* slowly started to crumble, and some light began to shine on what I had locked away for half of my life. When this happened, it did not take long for the avalanche to begin.

    It was not so much a crisis as a falling apart. And when the dysphoria hits, when it takes hold, it also takes control. For me, I was completely at its mercy. It was intense, it was relentless, it was unforgiving, and it was brutally painful. It was also absolutely necessary, as it turns out.

    Of course, I would wish such an experience on no one. Still, it has gotten me to where I am today, and has made where I will be tomorrow possible.

    I am a woman. I was *never* a man. I have lived an inauthentic life. Until this happened, no one in this world knew the real me, including me. And going by general life-expectancy statistics, the odds state that I have probably already lived more than half of my life to date. In so doing, I have managed to live my life in such a manner that I was unknown to the cosmos, and all those around me. Which is tragic, really. I mean, think about that - to live one's life in such a way that NOBODY knows who you are. That is the epitome of tragic. Even more, what is the point of life if not to experience it as one's true, authentic self?

    It got to the point I simply could not be *greg* anymore. *Greg* was a complete and total fiction to begin with. *Greg* is not who I am.

    Have I suffered a crisis in going forward with my transition? No. I have not. All that I have done is simply confront the reality of my situation, and I have worked from that point.

    Which is not to suggest it has been easy. It's been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Denial and suppression are powerful players. But FEAR, fear is a wickedly powerful and deceitful foe that doesn't play by the rules. Fear is the consummate school yard bully that will beat the absolute crap out of you until you stand up for yourself and make it back down.

    Transition is a process. It is not a crisis.

    As for the scenario in which you have written about, my good friend Lea (whose experience pretty much mirrors my own) over in the TS section recently wrote the following:

    Quote Originally Posted by LeaP View Post
    My identification as a cross-dresser lasted only until I met cross-dressers and transsexuals. That I had little in common with the former and an incredible amount of commonality and resonance with the latter was an instant realization. It is like seeing yourself in a mirror and recognizing yourself for the first time.
    Like Lea, until I came here, and until I actually left my closet and went out into the world, I had not ever met a CDer or a TS. As I previously said, I did all I could to convince myself that I was a crossdresser. Finally mustering up the *courage* (desperation, more like it) to meet both crossdressers and transsexuals, it did not take long to figure out that I was not a crossdresser (despite my best efforts to convince myself otherwise).

    Still, this does not equate, IMO, to a crisis.

    But here is the thing. Knowing what I know now, and given where I am at, if I could go back and undo it all, I would not.

    Because for the very first time in my life, I actually like me. I like who I am. I like what I am doing. And although my gender dysphoria pretty much requires that I do these things, unlike before, when I fought against myself tooth and nail, I know embrace myself. I *want* to be me, and I *want* to be real and authentic.

    In so doing, however, I have completely blown up my life, and that of my family's. My wife, who is my best friend and whom I love dearly, wants a divorce. We have been together for almost twenty years. We have a nine year old daughter together. We had a secure life. Between the two of us, we had much together and were quite fortunate in our standard of living. I hate this for her, but she is collateral damage. As are practically all of my *Greg* friends. And some of my family members. And my career and standing in my community. And so on and so forth. In this regard, I am absolutely f'ed in so many ways.

    Except that I am now more real than I have ever been before. People *know* me for who I am. I know me. And I have the opportunity to live out the remainder of my life authentically and as the real me.

    Is this crisis? No. Did it take a crisis to get to this point? No.

    It's just life, it's reality, and it's owning up to the truth and honoring one's self. No more, no less.

    Despite all of the loss, and despite all of the unknowns in the future, it's all worth it to me. God knows I feel much guilt about all of the pain around me in others that my circumstances have contributed to, and if I could take that away and ease it, I would. But life moves on, and it will forever move on. The only real question is what are you going to do about it?

    As for me, I am doing what is right and necessary for me. I have confidence, conviction, and a sense of self-worth and love that I have never, ever experienced or even thought was possible before. I do not intend on letting it go. It will not slip through my fingers. I will continue to grow it, to cultivate it, and to do all I can to help assist it to blossom further.

    There has been no crisis here.

    As shitty as it has been, though, to get here, I would not trade the real me now for anything in the world.

    And this is a good, positive thing. This is what life is about. This is what I am working my butt off to achieve.

    My understanding is that a vast majority of MtF "crossdressers" are simply men who enjoy dressing in female attire for whatever reasons. Men do not transition into women. Crisis or no crisis, it just doesn't happen. I am not a man, though, and have never been a man, despite the appearance of my body as it used to be.
    Last edited by Anne2345; 09-21-2014 at 10:16 AM.

  16. #16
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Mid-life crisis? I think that's reserved for the unaccomplished or the insecure. Like guys that screw around on their wives with the young honey-tarts. I would certainly love to have a Shelby Cobra and I could probably swing the finances involved but, you should see my dress and bra collection. Oh, and the retirement I'll enjoy financially later on. When I got to midlife, I embraced the truth! Money is only plus and minus, religion is just superstition, 95% of all stress we endure is brought to us by someone else, the average person is a moron and I am a crossdresser.

    And, as my wife tells me often, I have no ass!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  17. #17
    Nondressing CDer
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    Crisis is Latin for crossroads. When someone comes into a crisis they come to a crossroad, a decision point, a point where a choice must be made, a one of many directions that has to be taken. Such choices are often made during emergencies or times of trouble, but such duress is not necessary to have a crisis.

  18. #18
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    Going all Latin on me, huh? I can hardly keep up as it is. Now I've got no chance whatsoever. Game over, man. Game over. Next time, with simple folk such as myself in mind, simply write "crossroads" and stay away from all the fancy, schmancy words. You either gotta dumb it down for me, or be prepared to ignore whatever insane crap I happen to spout off in the moment . . . .

  19. #19
    Nondressing CDer
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    Anne I want to thank you for your deeply insightful perspective that brought so much light on a notation that was only on the outskirts of my mind. I fear I may have trivialized the transsexual aspect in this post. If I have offended you or any others with a GID then I sincerely apologies. But I can only write from my perspective. And that perspective is that of a cross-dresser who reads OPs like "My Blessed Sanctuary that is My Closet," and get the impression that everything is ok only to read sometime later about your new path you took after you came to your crossroad. Without all of us out here not knowing what is truly going on in the lives of those who ultimately make these decisions it can seem like cross-dressers are waiting around hoping not to get picked for the transsexual draft. What I was trying to say and you best illustrated is that there is more going on with those who are truly TS or those who dress more and more openly.

  20. #20
    Silver Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anne2345 View Post
    Going all Latin on me, huh?
    Technically it's a Greek medical term. But you're not diseased and did not come to a crossroads either, IMO.
    Lea

  21. #21
    Nondressing CDer
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    I stand corrected its Greek. I forget who told me this definition all I remember it gave me an interesting new look at "crises".


    1a : the turning point for better or worse in an acute disease or fever

    b : a paroxysmal attack of pain, distress, or disordered function

    c : an emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person's life <a midlife crisis>

    2: the decisive moment (as in a literary plot)

    3a : an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending; especially : one with the distinct possibility of a highly undesirable outcome <a financial crisis>

    b : a situation that has reached a critical phase <the environmental crisis>

    I still see a couple of definitions that are still appropriate.

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