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Thread: Acceptance - We still have a long way to go

  1. #26
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    We do have a long way to go and I do wonder how well the subject of the discussion presented.
    If he did not present well the girls will complain as it seems a slur on their own appearance.
    Feedback I got if I presented well I got praise, if I looked a bit off one night someone who did not know me well always lambasted me.
    I got this feedback because I did have supporters that kept me on the straight and narrow.
    ie. Always presenting well.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  2. #27
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    What is likely our worst enemy when it comes to acceptance is the mainstream media. Most of which is on the liberal end of the spectrum. Yet, while liberal people claim to be on the accepting end of diversity among people, the truth is that they are not really any more accepting, they just like to say they are. In some ways, I almost like a social conservative better simply because if they are going to not like or accept something, at least they are not fake about it.

    Too often liberals are great at the NIMBY concept. So long as it stays on the other side of the fence, they are fine with it. That is not really acceptance.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  3. #28
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG View Post
    Why not wear a pregnancy suit and REALLY experience what we go through? Why is it all about heels and skirts and long hair?
    Wow, Tink, I thought you would have 'got it' by now. Yes, there are guys who would be willing to go through pregnancy IF IT INCLUDED ALL THE REST OF WHAT A WOMAN'S LIFE IS. Lots of us would be perfectly willing to take the bad with the good. My ex had asked me the same question, why we seem to only want the good parts of being a girl. Really? Why would anyone lust after things that are painful or feel bad? Insanity maybe?
    After all, when I hear women complain that they don't get to play all the mens sports, I don't hear any asking to get paralyzed by getting straightarmed in football, get knocked senseless by constantly being overmatched in boxing, folded into a pretzel by the older stronger boy in wrestling, or being run over by a tank while in the armed forces. Let's face it, people envy others for the GOOD, enjoyable parts of their lives we see. I HAVE heard women who have gone out for sports that turn out to be quite underwhelmed by the experience when they find out that they don't 'get to' win automatically a certain percentage of the time (Losing all the time is no fun either). Women take turns with each other in lots of things; when you discover that men's lives don't work the same way, it can be quite demoralizing. Please consider this scenario: Girl sees boys going to learn boxing, likes the idea. Joins gym. Isn't good at it, there are girls there who are far more experienced and stronger, so she loses all her matches getting quite beat up every time. How long do you think she will keep going? However, boys don't have this choice; we are stuck with competing with other boys who are better at sports than we are, whether we like it or not. We don't get a free pass from phys-ed class just because we're not good at something, nope, we have to go there and lose. Over and over and over, through out our entire school experience. That's 18 years of losing. Think about how you'd like to be that boy, someone unathletic, bullied and physically pushed around in sports for EIGHTEEN YEARS. Think that would be fun? Hmm, probably not.
    Heels, skirts, long hair, each finds certain things about a woman to be attractive, so when we want to appear feminine, those are the things we will choose to emphasize. As I've mentioned many times before, I don't think there are a lot of men who would work hard to become a middle aged, overweight, ugly, frumpy woman with bad hair, assymetrical facial features, a bad complexion, hump back, flat chest, pot belly, and a sagging butt. I don't think any women want that either, so why should we?
    While I, personally, don't enjoy wearing heels (mostly because I never had a pair that fit me until my knees were too far gone to wear them without pain anyway), I understand why some do.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-25-2014 at 12:36 PM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  4. #29
    Luv doing girl stuff CherylFlint's Avatar
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    There are some really mean people out there (when it comes to CD's), and the worse are, in my opinion, women.

  5. #30
    new girl in town cassandra54's Avatar
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    We may never be accepted, but we can certainly be tolerated. And you're right. The only way to get there is to venture out into the world and show our faces. Keeping in mind, that the more passable we can be, the better we blend in, the more success we will have.

    The reason I say is that we may never be accepted is because I believe that the reality is that society hasn't changed much. There's sill prejudice and bias towards minorities. In general people want to stay with their own kind. How do I know this? Have you ever seen or heard of a white family from suburbia moving into a ghetto?? Not going to happen. While they might pretend to be diverse and accepting of all, deep down inside, maybe everyone is biased. And it gets better.

    There's all kinds of bias these days. A lot of people who are younger than me, and especially minorities assume that because I'm over 50 and white, that I'm a racist, conservative or narrow minded, or just don't understand. I've had people just about accuse me of being a racist, simply because I was a registered Republican. I changed my party affiliation to independent, not only because of that, but other reasons. And don't even get me started about people who claim to be Christians. A lot of people who consider themselves Christians will look down on you simply because they believe their interpenetration of the Bible allows them to be judgmental of everyone who doesn't share their perspective.

    I'm often tempted to spill the beans with people like this and not just about the fact that I like to wear women's clothes. I feel like saying, "You know what? I was a Democrat until I got tired of drinking the liberal cool aid, then changed to Republican, but became an independent after I found out that they don't have a clue. So yeah, I'm neither liberal or conservative. I'm a Christian that believes in reincarnation and life on other planets. I think people are terrorized by religion, politicians and news media and the government could shut its doors and it wouldn't make a whole lot of difference. To sum it up, I also think prostitution, marijuana and other recreational drugs should be legal. And I think the worldwide age of consent should be something like 14, like it is in Canada. And by the way, I like to wear women's clothes. You might have seen me at the movies or the mall."

    That's the reality. So to get to a point where cross dressing is considered mainstream and acceptance, we have to get beyond all the bias, prejudice and narrow-mindedness that's keeping our society from evolving.
    man, i feel like a woman

  6. #31
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    Miss tea; I understand where you are coming from as much as I would like to come out I can't I would lose too much. I have heard from a school teacher about a young girl born male but in the process of transitioning to a female as to whether she should able to use the girl restroom or not while in school. The so called teacher was going on that young people couldn't tell if they were a boy because this one gave the impression of being all female. That parents should have made this young person go on with what her birth sex was not that she might have commit suicide if she continue to be a boy when her mind is telling her she is female. Some or most people don't look at the big picture only a snap shot. Be willing to bet the woman in the meeting were wearing slacks.

  7. #32
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    Once again, thanks to all for the feedback. From what I know of senior organizational leaders (which is quite a lot) they set the tone of acceptance. If they are not there in belief, the organization will not be. Their bais' can be changed, but it is a matter of timing and careful, deliberate influence. Taking a radical stance and being confrontational only labels one as an extremist. Funny thing is, the line where passion ends and extremism begins is a matter of perspective. I try to read that, and use diplomacy versus high explosives.

  8. #33
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    So,Miss Tee,what have you done toward helping your friends realize that perhaps they are not looking at" transgenderism" in the way that they could? You must have contact with these people individually on a regular basis and I hope you tell each one of them that their drunken group discussion bothered you...because it did or you would not have made your post...You will feel better for trying to educate them toward change..and it won't "out" you!
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  9. #34
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=sometimes_miss;3604924 we are stuck with competing with other boys who are better at sports than we are, whether we like it or not. We don't get a free pass from phys-ed class just because we're not good at something, nope, we have to go there and lose. Over and over and over, through out our entire school experience. That's 18 years of losing. Think about how you'd like to be that boy, someone unathletic, bullied and physically pushed around in sports for EIGHTEEN YEARS. Think that would be fun? Hmm, probably not. [/QUOTE]

    I only had, I think, 5 or 6 years of gym class the last year of which I refused to attend. There were no consequences of my refusal either. Never once did we box, wrestle, play (American) football or any other overtly dangerous or humiliating sport. I remember a lot of jumping jacks though. In 7th grade I went to one football practice because I thought it would make my dad happy and promptly decided he could just find his own happiness, thank you! At one high school I attended you had to "play" a "sport". My "sport" was the outdoor club during fall and spring and ski club in the winter, it was pretty cool actually, oh and co-ed.

    I find it puzzling that societies "lack of acceptance" comes up so often here on this side of the forum considering most CDs are closeted, who cares? This topic does not come up very often over on the TS side.

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by CherylFlint View Post
    There are some really mean people out there (when it comes to CD's), and the worse are, in my opinion, women.
    I am finding that the meaner the person is and how much they lash out and hurt others....well that is just a reflection of themselves and where they are in their life and accepting and loving themselves currently. Its not about us at all but about their own state of mind or ignorance.

  11. #36
    Member devida's Avatar
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    Wasn't it just trash talk, Miss tee? Sure it highlights that Transgendered people are the current subjects of gossip and discrimination but go back 5 years and the person would have been gay, go back 25 years and the person would have been black. You would have seen the same disgust, the same disdain, the same generalizations. It is just the way that people who do not know how to be friendly and intimate as mature human beings behave. They select an Other and dump on them. It is a tired and tested way of developing a spurious feeling of community.

    You have really few options in a situation like this. Shut up and seethe or state, at the risk of sounding prissy and judgmental that you don't see why dumping on the transgendered is any more acceptable than trash talking about gays or people of another race. Neither option is pleasant. Perhaps the best option is to stand up, state that the conversation is making you feel uncomfortable, and leave. Depending on your group they will either recognize they've crossed a line or they will double down on their discrimination. Since these were older women I'd guess the latter.

    I love to mess with bigots. Unfortunately people seem to be wary saying idiotic things around me. My SO won't put up with it for 5 seconds. I am kinder than she is. She tells them flat out they're wrong. I try to lead them to an understanding of how wrong they are.

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