Anyone here bi that care to share? Trying to figure out if im a idiot. My so and i had a talk tonight about it. How does one sustain a relationship with the opposite sex while needing more than they have?
pm's are welcome
Anyone here bi that care to share? Trying to figure out if im a idiot. My so and i had a talk tonight about it. How does one sustain a relationship with the opposite sex while needing more than they have?
pm's are welcome
I just want to be a pretty girl!
CDing doesn't really enter into this at all, in my opinion.
I'm bisexual. You don't have to be non-monogamous because you are bisexual. It just means you can be attracted to either sex - you care about the person, rather than their gender.
There is nothing particularly special about bisexuals wanting more than one partner in my opinion - plenty of heterosexuals end up having sex with more than one partner. (Both sexes do it - but I think it's more prevalent amongst men.)
People who want to have an intimate relationship with more than one person have to have really great communications with all of their partners, and for this to have any chance of working, all parties have to be completely and rigorously honest about what's going on in the relationship, limits, if any, who are the primary parties in the relationship, etc. This is not for everyone! In fact, I'd bet that doing this isn't for most people!
Secrets, sneaking around, not telling one or more people involved in the relationships will generally destroy them pretty quickly. (How many happy secret affairs have you really ever heard of.)
I am involved in an open relationship with more than one person. I'm happy to discuss it via PM's, if you are interested. I'm not sure the site's mods will let me discuss how it works for us openly. I'm also not sure I want to discuss this openly here, quite frankly.
The short version, though, is that both you and your spouse will have to agree to one or both of you being in an open relationship.
If you find you are attracted to the same sex, while also being attracted to your wife, and she is not willing to allow any opening of the relationship, my best advice would be to love the one you are with - i.e. her. (And if that isn't possible, break up - either one is a much better option than sneaking around, imo.)
I think there are different types of bisexuals. Some want partners of both sexes, and some want a partner, but it doesnt matter which sex they are. I guess you have to figure out what is most important to you, and what you and your girlfriend are okay with.
Communication is the key to everything. Not knowing anything about your situation I can't say anything definite, but find out her feelings about what it is you want/need. If you aren't comfortable coming right out with it, find a way to ask roundabout questions to get her feelings on it.
However you go about it talking to her about it will in the long run make things better. My 2 cents anyway.
Mrs Sparkle, not knowing your whole situation I can only comment on how I feel. I am bisexual, but oddly enough only towards other cds though. I feel no attraction to the genetic male gender but do have that need for the something more you speak of. But when it comes down to relationships, I could never see myself in a relationship with a male or another cd.
So as far as the original post, how does one find just the right gg who can accept me being a cd, plus throw in the need for "something more" ? I guess that is why I am single.
Last edited by Erica Marie; 09-22-2014 at 06:23 AM.
Erica
I'm kind of like Erica. I have no interest in having an actual relationship with a man (or CD), but I've fooled around with a few. I've had many relationships with women and had been married once. I'm enjoying being single now days.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Not sure what one has to do with the other really.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
This is a very difficult question to answer as not only do we spread over a spectrum, as opposed to being put into neat categories, but it has been my experience that sexual preferences change considerably during ones lifetime.
As a pre-teenager I revelled in the delights of cross dressing and my sexual exploration was almost entirely via cross dressing and experiencing the intense sexual arousal it triggered. Yet I did have a couple of very brief homosexual experiences of the sort that could happen to any very young person.
As a teenager I was strongly interested in girls and my sexuality was completely directed toward the opposite sex. That changed when I found a couple who enjoyed cross dressing and I had my first true homosexual experience.
From that time forward I would have described myself as bi-sexual as I had several relationships with women but also some rather fleeting but deeply satisfying sexual encounters with men.
Currently I find that I do not look at men sexually at all. I much prefer women as company and friends though I do have a very warm non-sexual relationship with a male couple. Yet I now know that any sexual relationship that I have has to be with either a man who loves cross dressers or with another cross dresser. Strong social relationships with women are also still very important.
I wonder if others have found such complication. Not only do we seem to lie somewhere along a spectrum of sexual relationships and desires but we seem to move along that spectrum in unexpected ways.
Last edited by CONSUELO; 10-06-2014 at 12:47 PM. Reason: spelling
Sparkles, I'm dealing with a very similar situation. My wife tells me she's willing to do whatever it takes, but I'm terrified how how bringing in additional equipment will affect how she sees me. It's one thing to talk about it, but it's a completely different thing to actually do it.
Best of luck to you on the situation. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to share more of your successes/failures. Would love to hear how things are going for you
I'm a girl when I feel like it
I kind of confuse myself i suppose. While i have only ever been with women,i have often thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend. My thoughts,and daydreams are always me as a cd. I help around my house with dishes,laundry,cooking,etc. I think i would love to 'take care' of a man. As i mentioned though only when 'dressed'. I dunno mayb suppresing gay fealings when not cd-ing. Confusing myself!!
Three or more doesn't divide well into ONE!
But to each his/her own!
For me it's a bit confusing, I love women and everything about them. I think it's why I love forms and heels. I've been with men and i do like to s d but I love women. If I could be a man with large breast, wear heels and not be ridiculed I could die a happy ..person
Jamey
At one time I had a girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time. Both new of the other and were ok with it for awhile. I was in guy mode with the girl, and spent time with the guy as "Gina". The girl knew of Gina but wasn't interested in going down that road. At the time, neither of us was particularly interested in a long term meaningful relationship with anyone, and just enjoyed spending time as it came. However, in time this changed, and one demanded that a decision be made as to what side of the fence I was going to walk. I guess this was inevitable and led to a complete separation with both "friends". If your so is willing to work with both sides of you, great. There are ways to live out each side of the sexual coin with the right equipment. But, I think that is only wishful thinking. Bringing another into the relationship will inevitably end with some kind of friction that will likely end at least one relationship. Good luck.
I love women but sometime wonder , mybe if it the right person.
I embraced my very bi-sexual side years ago. For years I tried to deny it and would meet with guys or other cd/tv girls for some intimate fun, I would feel guilty and shameful. Now that I have embraced it, it has become a fun and relaxing experience. I often wonder what it would be like to go full time as a woman and have given more and more thought to it. There is something special about being dressed as a woman and spending some time with a guy as his girl......don't knock it till you try it
How does one maintain a relationship with one woman when one finds other women attractive too? Maintaining a relationship has more to do with loyalty and commitment than sexuality.
That said, statistics do tend to show that bisexuals have increased rates of infidelity. So to high income earners.
I get folks who feel radically different when dressed. You are changing your appearance and 'role', so your headspace goes to a different place. If you are internalizing being female, interacting with a male is more attractive. It fits the 'hetero-normal' space. It is natural, IMHO.
You are feeling like being a woman from a *sexual* perspective, in addition to whatever other things you feel inside.
That does mean you cross into some bisexual territory, but not in the same way as a 'stock' bisexual. I like guys & girls equally. If I like you, I like *YOU*... I don't care what bits you have. Presentation doesn't really come into it.
But as I said, role changes can do a lot to your perception and headspace.
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
Not sure about needing more than I have. I am happy in my marriage and very satisfied sexually. I still find it exciting when I'm dressed to the max and someone on video call or FaceTime or Skype tells me how pretty I am and calls me baby. For some reason it reaffirms my dressing. I went thru a period where when ever I dressed I would become sexually aroused by just looking in my own mirror and seeing a beautiful gal. She was a neat, fun loving loving gal, that knew my every desire. I even thought I wanted to see what others thought about me thus some contact with other CDs. We would tell each other how beautiful we were and usually turned to watching live sex shows. That part I really found I didn't care for. I just wanted to be the pretty one and have someone think I was pretty or validate my ability to transform into a beautiful women. My wife is a very open minded person. She helps me dress when I want to be Jaylyn and we are finding that I enjoy the dressing more after we have been though a stressful time wether it's not enough money stress, a funeral, or work-related stress. I seemed to have out grown the need for more than dressing and now am content to be Jaylyn when I want is enough. I guess old age will cure the want for something more. Lol
PM sent this morning.
It seems the general thought here is that "threes a crowd". I've always thought the same thing. Thanks Gina I was looking for an experienced answer like that even though i was sure that was the response id receive.Our relationship is very strong and we have discussed my bisexualism many times. Although she doesn't like it nor does she want to share me we are seeking ways to deal with it. I have no interest in a relationship with a man. My cravings for men are strictly sexual . However she lacks the "equipment " to satisfy my needs. These are the general things we discuss.In the end however i will never trade what we have for sexual needs..She is my life!!
I just want to be a pretty girl!
Sparkles I woudl equate this to anyone in a relationship...how man guys fantasies about those playboy bunnies and how many girls fantasize about guys with six packs or really big packages. At the end of the day if you are in a relationship and that relationship makes you happy then you have your answer. The grass is not always greener. It is hard but you can buy toys, you could look at pictures and you can always mentally fantasize about things.
I am in the exact same place in my relationship as you. I have had sexual experiences with men prior to my current marriage and have enjoyed them very much. I came out to my wife last fall and shared how I felt with her vs with men. For me they are very different mindsets which come from different places on my gender spectrum. She has been supportive to the point of letting me play as Julia. I will say there are rules, and she can choose to do the same. I've known her for 28 years and we are best friends which is the only reason this works for us.Originally Posted by im-sparkles
Feel free to PM for any specifics.
Julia
I do consider myself bi. I'm mostly attracted to the female body and as such, I'm mostly looking at females when I walk down the street or sit in the train. Sometimes because I think they look appealing, sometimes just because I'm jealous of their look and wish I could look like that! With males, I guess I'm a bit more picky, at least when just looking at them. I do love looking at sexy, masculine men and when I'm in my girl mode, as Amanda, that attraction grows stronger. Not sure what that actually makes me, but I believe it would be bisexual. In all honesty, I don't find much attraction in female genitalia. I much prefer the male equivalent! However, I find the female body being generally more appealing.
If the OP's "needing more than they have" refers to equipment, I can address that. My husband confided in me a while ago about his attraction to the male equipment. I didn't freak out about that, and we got a toy for me to use. We don't do that often -- it's not physically fun for me, and I think my rhythm doesn't feel right to him. So I thought that was a dead-end. But this year we tried it a different way, with me wearing it. Easy for me and he can have fun with it as much as he wants. Since discovering this aspect, we've found it much more rewarding for both of us. Just one data-point.
Last edited by Katey888; 09-24-2014 at 03:10 PM. Reason: Explicit references removed
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