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Thread: cd bi-sexuals

  1. #1
    Sparkle im-sparkles's Avatar
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    cd bi-sexuals

    Anyone here bi that care to share? Trying to figure out if im a idiot. My so and i had a talk tonight about it. How does one sustain a relationship with the opposite sex while needing more than they have?

    pm's are welcome
    I just want to be a pretty girl!

  2. #2
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    CDing doesn't really enter into this at all, in my opinion.

    I'm bisexual. You don't have to be non-monogamous because you are bisexual. It just means you can be attracted to either sex - you care about the person, rather than their gender.

    There is nothing particularly special about bisexuals wanting more than one partner in my opinion - plenty of heterosexuals end up having sex with more than one partner. (Both sexes do it - but I think it's more prevalent amongst men.)

    People who want to have an intimate relationship with more than one person have to have really great communications with all of their partners, and for this to have any chance of working, all parties have to be completely and rigorously honest about what's going on in the relationship, limits, if any, who are the primary parties in the relationship, etc. This is not for everyone! In fact, I'd bet that doing this isn't for most people!

    Secrets, sneaking around, not telling one or more people involved in the relationships will generally destroy them pretty quickly. (How many happy secret affairs have you really ever heard of.)

    I am involved in an open relationship with more than one person. I'm happy to discuss it via PM's, if you are interested. I'm not sure the site's mods will let me discuss how it works for us openly. I'm also not sure I want to discuss this openly here, quite frankly.

    The short version, though, is that both you and your spouse will have to agree to one or both of you being in an open relationship.

    If you find you are attracted to the same sex, while also being attracted to your wife, and she is not willing to allow any opening of the relationship, my best advice would be to love the one you are with - i.e. her. (And if that isn't possible, break up - either one is a much better option than sneaking around, imo.)

  3. #3
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    I think there are different types of bisexuals. Some want partners of both sexes, and some want a partner, but it doesnt matter which sex they are. I guess you have to figure out what is most important to you, and what you and your girlfriend are okay with.

  4. #4
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    Communication is the key to everything . Not knowing anything about your situation I can't say anything definite, but find out her feelings about what it is you want/need. If you aren't comfortable coming right out with it, find a way to ask roundabout questions to get her feelings on it.

    However you go about it talking to her about it will in the long run make things better. My 2 cents anyway.

  5. #5
    A lady in the making..... Erica Marie's Avatar
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    Mrs Sparkle, not knowing your whole situation I can only comment on how I feel. I am bisexual, but oddly enough only towards other cds though. I feel no attraction to the genetic male gender but do have that need for the something more you speak of. But when it comes down to relationships, I could never see myself in a relationship with a male or another cd.
    So as far as the original post, how does one find just the right gg who can accept me being a cd, plus throw in the need for "something more" ? I guess that is why I am single.
    Last edited by Erica Marie; 09-22-2014 at 06:23 AM.
    Erica

  6. #6
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I'm kind of like Erica. I have no interest in having an actual relationship with a man (or CD), but I've fooled around with a few. I've had many relationships with women and had been married once. I'm enjoying being single now days.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  7. #7
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Not sure what one has to do with the other really.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  8. #8
    Junior Member Jasmine Mae's Avatar
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    I kind of confuse myself i suppose. While i have only ever been with women,i have often thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend. My thoughts,and daydreams are always me as a cd. I help around my house with dishes,laundry,cooking,etc. I think i would love to 'take care' of a man. As i mentioned though only when 'dressed'. I dunno mayb suppresing gay fealings when not cd-ing. Confusing myself!!

  9. #9
    Member Dana3's Avatar
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    Three or more doesn't divide well into ONE!

    But to each his/her own!

  10. #10
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    At one time I had a girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time. Both new of the other and were ok with it for awhile. I was in guy mode with the girl, and spent time with the guy as "Gina". The girl knew of Gina but wasn't interested in going down that road. At the time, neither of us was particularly interested in a long term meaningful relationship with anyone, and just enjoyed spending time as it came. However, in time this changed, and one demanded that a decision be made as to what side of the fence I was going to walk. I guess this was inevitable and led to a complete separation with both "friends". If your so is willing to work with both sides of you, great. There are ways to live out each side of the sexual coin with the right equipment. But, I think that is only wishful thinking. Bringing another into the relationship will inevitably end with some kind of friction that will likely end at least one relationship. Good luck.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Not sure about needing more than I have. I am happy in my marriage and very satisfied sexually. I still find it exciting when I'm dressed to the max and someone on video call or FaceTime or Skype tells me how pretty I am and calls me baby. For some reason it reaffirms my dressing. I went thru a period where when ever I dressed I would become sexually aroused by just looking in my own mirror and seeing a beautiful gal. She was a neat, fun loving loving gal, that knew my every desire. I even thought I wanted to see what others thought about me thus some contact with other CDs. We would tell each other how beautiful we were and usually turned to watching live sex shows. That part I really found I didn't care for. I just wanted to be the pretty one and have someone think I was pretty or validate my ability to transform into a beautiful women. My wife is a very open minded person. She helps me dress when I want to be Jaylyn and we are finding that I enjoy the dressing more after we have been though a stressful time wether it's not enough money stress, a funeral, or work-related stress. I seemed to have out grown the need for more than dressing and now am content to be Jaylyn when I want is enough. I guess old age will cure the want for something more. Lol

  12. #12
    Member JessMe's Avatar
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    PM sent this morning.

  13. #13
    Sparkle im-sparkles's Avatar
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    It seems the general thought here is that "threes a crowd". I've always thought the same thing. Thanks Gina I was looking for an experienced answer like that even though i was sure that was the response id receive.Our relationship is very strong and we have discussed my bisexualism many times. Although she doesn't like it nor does she want to share me we are seeking ways to deal with it. I have no interest in a relationship with a man. My cravings for men are strictly sexual . However she lacks the "equipment " to satisfy my needs. These are the general things we discuss.In the end however i will never trade what we have for sexual needs..She is my life!!
    I just want to be a pretty girl!

  14. #14
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    Sparkles I woudl equate this to anyone in a relationship...how man guys fantasies about those playboy bunnies and how many girls fantasize about guys with six packs or really big packages. At the end of the day if you are in a relationship and that relationship makes you happy then you have your answer. The grass is not always greener. It is hard but you can buy toys, you could look at pictures and you can always mentally fantasize about things.

  15. #15
    Girl in Training JuliaM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by im-sparkles View Post
    It seems the general thought here is that "threes a crowd". I've always thought the same thing. Thanks Gina I was looking for an experienced answer like that even though i was sure that was the response id receive.Our relationship is very strong and we have discussed my bisexualism many times. Although she doesn't like it nor does she want to share me we are seeking ways to deal with it. I have no interest in a relationship with a man. My cravings for men are strictly sexual . However she lacks the "equipment " to satisfy my needs. These are the general things we discuss.In the end however i will never trade what we have for sexual needs..She is my life!!
    I am in the exact same place in my relationship as you. I have had sexual experiences with men prior to my current marriage and have enjoyed them very much. I came out to my wife last fall and shared how I felt with her vs with men. For me they are very different mindsets which come from different places on my gender spectrum. She has been supportive to the point of letting me play as Julia. I will say there are rules, and she can choose to do the same. I've known her for 28 years and we are best friends which is the only reason this works for us.

    Feel free to PM for any specifics.

    Julia

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhonda Jean View Post
    I don't think Sarah was talking about for her wife.
    On the other hand, the phrase "needing more than they have," which was used by the OP, could (and should) refer to more than merely anatomical differences. Most GG are not psychologically equipped by either hormones, education, or experience to play the role of the penetrating partner. Buying a suitable toy for your SO and persuading her to use it are two different things.
    Last edited by Katey888; 09-24-2014 at 02:39 PM. Reason: Please keep within rules and address OP

  17. #17
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    I do consider myself bi. I'm mostly attracted to the female body and as such, I'm mostly looking at females when I walk down the street or sit in the train. Sometimes because I think they look appealing, sometimes just because I'm jealous of their look and wish I could look like that! With males, I guess I'm a bit more picky, at least when just looking at them. I do love looking at sexy, masculine men and when I'm in my girl mode, as Amanda, that attraction grows stronger. Not sure what that actually makes me, but I believe it would be bisexual. In all honesty, I don't find much attraction in female genitalia. I much prefer the male equivalent! However, I find the female body being generally more appealing.

  18. #18
    GG / SO to a CD MatildaJ.'s Avatar
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    If the OP's "needing more than they have" refers to equipment, I can address that. My husband confided in me a while ago about his attraction to the male equipment. I didn't freak out about that, and we got a toy for me to use. We don't do that often -- it's not physically fun for me, and I think my rhythm doesn't feel right to him. So I thought that was a dead-end. But this year we tried it a different way, with me wearing it. Easy for me and he can have fun with it as much as he wants. Since discovering this aspect, we've found it much more rewarding for both of us. Just one data-point.
    Last edited by Katey888; 09-24-2014 at 03:10 PM. Reason: Explicit references removed

  19. #19
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Members...

    If you can't stay within the rules on this thread it WILL be closed. I'm sure there are plenty of other forums out there that will allow more latitude and explicit discussions of your chosen areas of interest...

    As a reminder this is the relevant section of the rules:

    The following content is NOT allowed ANYWHERE on the forum and will be deleted.
    • Explicit sexual content and/or pictures, this also includes external links to other websites.
    • Personal threads ie: tampons/pads/sex toys/peeing.
    Thank you
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by im-sparkles View Post
    Anyone here bi that care to share? Trying to figure out if im a idiot. My so and i had a talk tonight about it. How does one sustain a relationship with the opposite sex while needing more than they have?

    pm's are welcome
    One does not. It destroys the relationship. IF you are TRULY 'in Love' with your WIFE/SO then one does not desire to go outside the relationship for intimacy with another person. If you find yourself NEEDING that, then it was never REAL Love in the 1st place.

  21. #21
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Sex and love are really two different things that intersect IMO. Many people grow apart sexually in long lasting relationships but still love each other. But affairs will devastate relationships when love isn't strong enough. Some partners need sex more often or may have a kink that the other partner doesn't like. It's too bad that jealousy gets in the way of understanding each other's desires.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  22. #22
    Luv doing girl stuff CherylFlint's Avatar
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    Good question.
    As drab, I like girls.
    As Cheryl, I like girls AND men.
    Go figure.

  23. #23
    Genetically Fabulous Robyne Rocks's Avatar
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    My husband & I are both bisexual. I am primarily attracted to femininity, & also attracted to adrogyny & gender-bending in general, within limits. I find CD/Trans girls very attractive, which makes being married to one very nice for both of us. Sexually, I basically like it all, but the more masculine someone is (big muscles, body hair, general machismo), the less I find them attractive.

    My husband & I enjoy each other's bisexuality. We take turns being in male & female roles & on "top" in our intimate life. I think I do most of the topping. It works out very well for us. :-)

    I have been bisexual since my hormones first switched on that part of me. I've heard a lot of misconceptions, especially the one about how bisexuals can't be monogamous. It's BS. I am very happily married, & I would never do anything to betray my husband's trust. We've talked some about having a 3rd party join us for fun, but it would only ever be OK if we were completely honest with each other every step of the way. In any relationship, it is never OK to deceive the one you love for the sake of infidelity.

  24. #24
    Pirate Queen wannabe Maria Blackwood's Avatar
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    I spent about 10 years in the California BDSM scene. My physical relationships there were evenly split between the genders so I guess I qualify as bi? I stopped worrying labels like that long ago. I started CD five years after that phase, and have never been conscious of a link between the two.

  25. #25
    Member weyburn's Avatar
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    Being attracted to both sexes if I am with a man I like to play the female role but can be very masculine when with a woman until she asks why my toenails are painted
    what I do find interesting is the number of married people of both sexes that do find it a sexual fantasy or experience a cd er
    Percentage I find is higher with men but I am cool with that
    My neighbour who is a very attractive older woman paints my toenails and sometimes does my make up and really likes it when I am en femme

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