Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 39 of 39

Thread: cd bi-sexuals

  1. #26
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Cathedral City, CA
    Posts
    4,638
    At this point in my life, the list of male partners is somewhat longer than the female list, but neither is particularly long. I think the difference is more situational rather than by design. I wouldn't describe my attractions as being dead center, but there or thereabouts. However, that is not a prerequisite for bisexuality. All you need is "some" degree of attraction to the same sex.

    Anyway, I knew my 2nd wife for better than 12 years before we got married 9 years ago. She knows everything about me except for the extent of my shoe collection! However, so far I haven't felt the need to go looking for anything else. I wouldn't say that would be an absolute certainty going forward, but it would take some extraordinary circumstances for me to consider doing anything different. Also, in contrast to some here, I don't have any coincidence of dressing and male attraction. For me, they tend to be sort of mutually exclusive; not saying it couldn't be, but that would be counter to my history.

    In regards to the original question, I think it depends upon the relationship and the people involved. What needs to get sorted is what kind of relationship do you want and how much variance/flexibility can be tolerated. This is not the work of a minute as these are tough questions and it is different from how people usually think of relationships. And, in any situation like this, there are always the possibilities that it either cannot be worked out or major sacrifices need to be made. For the former, it can be tough to fold up the tent and move on, but sometimes that is precisely what needs to happen. For the latter, sometimes sacrifices can lead to long term resentment.

    Anyway, Good Luck on your journey.

  2. #27
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,362
    Gender identity and orientation have -nothing- to do with each other.

    It is an easy thing to conflate, but they are quite different.

    Identity: Who/what do YOU feel like?

    Orientation: What turns you on?

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  3. #28
    eyah! Mink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    PORTLAND eyah!
    Posts
    741
    but what / who turns you on can affect HOW you feel like (or see yourself! even just in that moment!)

    it's complicated!

  4. #29
    Member AletaHawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Posts
    108
    Sparkles, I'm dealing with a very similar situation. My wife tells me she's willing to do whatever it takes, but I'm terrified how how bringing in additional equipment will affect how she sees me. It's one thing to talk about it, but it's a completely different thing to actually do it.

    Best of luck to you on the situation. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to share more of your successes/failures. Would love to hear how things are going for you
    I'm a girl when I feel like it

  5. #30
    Member KaceyR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Clinton Township,MI
    Posts
    492
    MM pretty much states the gender thing correctly. Although the OP asks more on relationship sustenance. I'm analyzing a bit here as I can't really qualify myself with experience. (And I realize after typing all this that others have said similar parts to mine, and Sparkles already replied mid-thread)

    It can get a bit logically crazy to consider. CDing-affected sexuality changes aside, both partners would have to be a lot more open to realizing differences between your marriage's relationship/love and freedoms of open sexuality and experiences outside the "normal" monogamous system. A seperation of 'ok this is fun to do..but at the end of the period I still want to be with and make sure my life partner is pleased as well' kind of thing.
    Then there's other nuances of what exactly is going to be agreed on as far as allowances..
    A married couple friends of mine (where the husband realized his BI-ness more recently) essentially made an agreement where both he is free to explore his BI with other guys (not with other girls) and she was free to explore her side with other girls (but no guys). They keep the M-F sex to themselves and don't explore this BI side together (like 3-somes,etc). Anyways this works for them. They have a very strong marriage going on 10+ years now.

    It would just all come down to openness, communication and acceptance I think to really support such a thing.
    At least if you're trying to be truthful with your spouse. CDing just adds 'flavoring' to the BI experience.

    I've also studied in depth the polyamory relationships as well. Although, this isn't specific to the sexuality but to the relationship side, I can say that I'd think that poly 'partnerships' have it all properly handled when it comes down to the communication side. There's an extreme amount of communication, planning, arrangement, to make sure the relationship is amicable across the group and no ones overlooked or missed out. With these you really have to work out boundaries, and deal with other aspects (jealousy and other conflicts) and it really stretches a bit the thought of 'ownership' of the partner prevalent in old-school marriage thought.

    This level of communication is likely really what's needed to make a BI-sampling standard marriage work well.

    So.. That pretty much is _my_ knowledge of what I think it'd take to work.
    Sadly, a lot will not even consider these alternative conditions even worth discussing, whether due to the partner having _no_ desire to negotiate or even consider due to outside society (or religion) factors. Then there's not much that can be done..as far as an open sustainable relationship. The one that is accepting of the 'different' desires may be forced to decide then between sticking to the spouse's demands or to doing their own thing and putting the relationship in jeopardy. And for some if the spouse refuses to discuss this aspect, there might be some relationship issues to begin with, as any good long term relationship I think would come down to good communication and good give and take across both parties and not just demands that are one-sided w/o thought of the other person.
    But then again this also is my own idyllic thought of a more 'progressive' situation and I am a very logical-minded person to begin with.

    Anyways, that's my thought. Dunno why I typed all this. I'm a bit of an outsider in my life. No relationships (or even hook-ups) because I can't talk well with others face to face (social anxieties). Myself, am more Pansexual than just outright BI. Parts don't matter, it's feelings and emotion for me. But I still favor the female more, even dressed..and even though I'm soon to be continuing on with TS transitioning. (Will wait and see how _that_ affects thought down the line, but still may not matter with me)
    Kacey Rhiannon - (FB Page) (Twitter)
    Bliss is your birthright! Feel Sexy Every Day!

  6. #31
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    The South
    Posts
    1,679
    This is a very difficult question to answer as not only do we spread over a spectrum, as opposed to being put into neat categories, but it has been my experience that sexual preferences change considerably during ones lifetime.
    As a pre-teenager I revelled in the delights of cross dressing and my sexual exploration was almost entirely via cross dressing and experiencing the intense sexual arousal it triggered. Yet I did have a couple of very brief homosexual experiences of the sort that could happen to any very young person.
    As a teenager I was strongly interested in girls and my sexuality was completely directed toward the opposite sex. That changed when I found a couple who enjoyed cross dressing and I had my first true homosexual experience.
    From that time forward I would have described myself as bi-sexual as I had several relationships with women but also some rather fleeting but deeply satisfying sexual encounters with men.
    Currently I find that I do not look at men sexually at all. I much prefer women as company and friends though I do have a very warm non-sexual relationship with a male couple. Yet I now know that any sexual relationship that I have has to be with either a man who loves cross dressers or with another cross dresser. Strong social relationships with women are also still very important.

    I wonder if others have found such complication. Not only do we seem to lie somewhere along a spectrum of sexual relationships and desires but we seem to move along that spectrum in unexpected ways.
    Last edited by CONSUELO; 10-06-2014 at 12:47 PM. Reason: spelling

  7. #32
    Junior Member Mia27's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    80
    I am a bi Cder I understand it is kinda difficult.. I have a gf and she accepts me for who i am. But i still have urges for the other sex. We talk about it. And what i've kinda figured out, is that its not a big deal! Just think of the same sexes as the same! i mean an attractive guy is an attractive guy! im not just gunna go for him:P same goes for girls i am in a relationship and happy no need to ruin it. I treat my urges for guys as i do for dressing up. I find a middle ground. I can have thoughts of guys and i can dress up when i feel like it also try having your SO be more dominate in bed, it can help! just remember what you have

  8. #33
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    2,428
    I am not Bisexual but Gay and the majority of my sexual relationships have been with married not crossdresser bisexual guys , I can imagine is very difficult for a bisexual individual remain faithful on a relationship

  9. #34
    Member lpjamey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    Posts
    230
    For me it's a bit confusing, I love women and everything about them. I think it's why I love forms and heels. I've been with men and i do like to s d but I love women. If I could be a man with large breast, wear heels and not be ridiculed I could die a happy ..person
    ​Jamey

  10. #35
    Member wanda66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    va.
    Posts
    313
    I love women but sometime wonder , mybe if it the right person.

  11. #36
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Northern Ohio
    Posts
    68
    I embraced my very bi-sexual side years ago. For years I tried to deny it and would meet with guys or other cd/tv girls for some intimate fun, I would feel guilty and shameful. Now that I have embraced it, it has become a fun and relaxing experience. I often wonder what it would be like to go full time as a woman and have given more and more thought to it. There is something special about being dressed as a woman and spending some time with a guy as his girl......don't knock it till you try it )

  12. #37
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Tampa
    Posts
    2,275
    "Trying to figure out if im a idiot".

    An idiot? Only if you think you are NOT just another animal roaming the planet, who can do as/he she pleases and disregard the programming that EVOLUTION has worked out for you.

    We are at the top of the food chain ONLY because we learned to walk upright multiple tens of thousands of years ago.

    Humans cannot control what pushes their buttons or floats their boat anymore than any other animal roaming the planet.

    ANY kind of Relationship between adults can/will work when BOTH parties have no issue with it. Nightline alone has had 2 segments in the last 6 months on UNconventional Relationships that many "clueless" people would claim is "wrong".

    Adults IN a relationship are the ONLY ones who can decide what is "wrong".

  13. #38
    Member SometimesDiana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    124
    How does one maintain a relationship with one woman when one finds other women attractive too? Maintaining a relationship has more to do with loyalty and commitment than sexuality.

    That said, statistics do tend to show that bisexuals have increased rates of infidelity. So to high income earners.

  14. #39
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,362
    I get folks who feel radically different when dressed. You are changing your appearance and 'role', so your headspace goes to a different place. If you are internalizing being female, interacting with a male is more attractive. It fits the 'hetero-normal' space. It is natural, IMHO.

    You are feeling like being a woman from a *sexual* perspective, in addition to whatever other things you feel inside.

    That does mean you cross into some bisexual territory, but not in the same way as a 'stock' bisexual. I like guys & girls equally. If I like you, I like *YOU*... I don't care what bits you have. Presentation doesn't really come into it.

    But as I said, role changes can do a lot to your perception and headspace.

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State