Ill warn up front this is kind if a venting rant.
So here it is. Many of you know I used to get out quite a bit , but not so much any more.
But soon I will have a vary rare opportunity to get out in the world as Lexi. And all the prior planning that has To go into just a couple of hours has brought on all the I emotions listed in the title of this post.
I mean first I have to figure out which ONE of the 50 thing I want to do that I will choose.
Then I have to shop for a decent bra. Because the bandux bras I picked up after my last purge just look so unrealistic! I mean bad and I'm only going for a small b cup here. Then I have to find away to reteive my stuff from the super secret hiding place. Then the first thing I have to do is wash all the cloths so I don't smell like a basement. And then through out 1/2 my make up because it has either melted or gone bad because I haven't used it in sooooo long. And find the money to replace it all.
Then because the SO dose not approve ! when awesome day comes. Have to plan where I am going around where I say I am going. I case she checks in on my location I need a legitate reason to be in the general area that I am In. Ahhh! And omg if she decides to face time me I'm screwed ! All the while panicking about the whole situation. Then just as I am starting to relax and settle in to my Lexi persona it will be time to turn back into a pumpkin with no foreseeable opportunity to go out a gain I the future. Then it time to clean up and get back to reality and start stressing about , did I get all the eye liner off ? Is there a mark on my back from my bra? Did I miss anything before I put it all back in hiding ? God forbid a nail pops off ill spend the next 6 months vacumeing everything. To make sure it dosent turn up and get me busted months down the road. ( I spent 2 hours looking for a nail once ! Turns out I never put it on it was still in the damn box !) all the planning and risk management and stress that has to go I to a 2 hour shopping trip , or if I am lucky meeting one of you girls for coffee or something. It's maddening ! Some times I wonder if it's all worth it?Maybe I should just skip the whole thing and mow the lawn !
But there is one thing I know for sure ! And that is after all my bitching about what a pain in the ass it is , once I slip into my heels. The fog will take over and I would crawl to hell and back for that 2 hour shopping trip!
Ok that's it I feel a little better , thanks for letting me vent girls!
Lexi