10 years ago I turned 50, (you can do the math). While I had been dressing off and on for decades like many it really kicked into high gear. I treated myself to 3 days enfemme in Chicago. It was incredible and the start of a multi-year pink fog. One thing I am not proud of was that my wife of twenty years did not know about my dressing. Great hiding places in a basement she didn't like going into and lots of travel for work.
My Chicago trips let me really explore but also caused me to consider how far I wanted to go with Tiffany. I was both excited and nervous so I got counseling. Fortunately I found a counselor who specialized in transgender issues. We broke down both some personal issues I was dealing with and my gender issues. Then my wife goes out of town I pull out my femme stuff and I don't put back my brushes. We have the talk, no not gay, still love here, been going to counseling,etc,etc. she goes with me I confess some more and now I think life will be great. My wife knows I can dress more. WRONG yes she knows but she hates. I had to choose. I live somewhat vicariously through these pages although I did go through a pink fog this past summer. I was living alone while we were moving. I held out for a few months but had to shop and explore. I don't know if I wish I had started earlier as I had four months alone or wished I had been able to hang on.
I think about dressing every day, I can't control what I think only what I do.
Sorry for the long post and thanks for this forum and all of you sharing the journey.
Tiffany