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Thread: How long did it take before you realized CDing wasn't going away?

  1. #1
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    How long did it take before you realized CDing wasn't going away?

    Hello world,
    I know this must have been asked before but I can't find the original thread, please forgive me for asking again.

    My interest in this question has just been raised by an intro I just read, when the new girl finshed off her intro,she wrote " I'm a CDER for life"

    When did y'all relaize that your dressing wasnt going to go away,
    For me it was only in the last year or so (and I've been dressing since Pre school and I'm 52 now!) and I thought to myself, I've signed up for life here., this CDing is not going to go away, I might as well embrace it.

    Adelaide

  2. #2
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I have never actually realized that, ...yet! I believe that statement, i.e. the urge and desire to dress will always be around for those that do crossdress. For me, I learned that here on this site after about a year reading most new posts. Since I have fortunately embraced this new side of me (new from zero in 2007), I really do not think about whether I can give this up or at least stop it because, at my age and years of life experiences, I do not want to!

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Christen's Avatar
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    Hi Addie!

    I fervently believed that I would be able to stop. I guess it was as I started to buy more 'things' after having purged for the last, last time and believing that I had no more to prove to myself in this little realm, and the stresses of work were behind me (I now believe stress is just an excuse), and we moved to a different state. I proved to myself Oh, so quickly that I need this to allow me to feel complete.
    So, what was the question? Oh, yeah .. it took me about 52 years.

    Christen x
    Slow Learner!
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member EllenJo's Avatar
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    I have been dressing since I was 14. It waxed and waned but I knew from the beginning that it would never go away. There was just something about it that was instinctual and a part of me. There have been several attempts to make it go away (purges) but those always failed and rather quickly. Sometimes life got in the way but I always knew that it would return with a vengeance. I am now 61 years old and hope that it never does go away.

    As someone on here says in their signature "Embrace the Lace".

    Hugs
    Ellen Jo
    Somtimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see.
    Lately it's occured to me.....What a long strange trip it has been.
    Truckin by the Grateful Dead

  5. #5
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    About the time I signed up here. There's no way off this squirrel cage for me.

  6. #6
    Member Tiffany Jane's Avatar
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    I'll outgrow it I told myself through my teen years when I started dabbling with wearing womens clothes. I am exploring my sexuality I told myself in my twenties as things evolved and what I felt was fantasy was really an expression of something deep inside myself. In my early thirties I let it take a little more of my time and realized it completed aspects in my life I would feel were missing or allowed me an escape from where my mind was at the time. Like a few have said, it wasn't until I signed up here that I completely accepted this part of me as something that may go silent for periods of time but never really goes away. So at 38 and probably 25 years after this all started and with the supportive acceptance of my wife, I no longer try to fool myself to believe it will go away or should.

  7. #7
    Member AletaHawk's Avatar
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    It hit me when I was walking through stores, either with my wife or even late-night Wal-Mart runs, and realized I was looking at more than just the lingerie and thinking "I'd love to wear that!" It hit me that this was more than a fetish for bras and panties. I tried to deny that for a couple years, but about a month ago I knew I couldn't take living the lie anymore.
    I'm a girl when I feel like it

  8. #8
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    I do not recall ever wanting it to go away.

  9. #9
    Member Yoshisaur's Avatar
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    For me there are points in my life where my urge to crossdress goes away, but it seemingly always come back stronger then ever. So about last Christmas I just accepted my cding as a constant thing and got myself a huge Christmas present in the form of $150 of women's cloths. I'm pretty sure crossdress is gonna be a part of me for life, and at the moment i'm fine with that.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    There is no question for me I would love for it to go away most importantly for the sake of my relationship. I don't think it ever will but it would be so much eaiser if it did. For now I just try and manage it

  11. #11
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    For many years I tried everything I could to shut it down, make it go away, deny it's calling. Purge after purge I was committed to its defeat, but I was miserable. At some point I stopped trying so hard to make it go away and I paid attention to how that made me feel. Then I started being okay with valuing my own feelings, and decided to live with it and be happy. The total journey to the point of acceptance of who I am was about 40 years.

  12. #12
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Wattaya mean, "It's not going away"? U mean I'll be stuck doing this the rest of my life? OMG!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
    Junior Member JocelynRenee's Avatar
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    Let's see...I started around age 7 or 8. Over the years I developed a love/hate relationship with CDing. If I'm honest, deep down I never really wanted it to go away, but I found myself fighting it very hard many times in my life. Around the age of 29 my wife discovered my secret and with her support I learned to embrace my dual nature. I've never looked back and at the age of 52 I wouldn't change a thing.

  14. #14
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    After several purges, and coming back to it again and again, I said to myself, something has to change. I came out of my wife, she wasn't devastated by it, but had all of the usual questions which I answered for her to her satisfaction. Had two more purges and said enough is enough, I started wearing lingerie daily and started to accept myself for who I was and got on with life. Once you get to the point of seeing that they are only clothes, and you stop worrying about what others may think, things get easier. It does help having an understanding wife who is accepting of my quirks. Its been more of a journey than a destination, who knows what is around the next corner in the road!
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Adelaide,
    It took me about five minutes when I was eight.

    Actually I never considered the problem at all.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    Member Secret Drawer's Avatar
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    When I was a kid, I thought it a phase. As a teen, I thought I would outgrow it. As a young adult, I wrongly assumed I would get distracted by love and sex and all that and give it up... I didn't. Then, the final frontier, I got married, thinking surely this will be the end of it? Nope. So it was a couple years into married life... (30 some years after I first tried it) that I finally understood that it is a part of me that is permanent.
    This does help to explain, as I did to my wife, the why we didn't disclose it sooner? If you think it will go away, then why talk about it? It is not lying and cheating and sneaking around, but an honest error in our internal judgements!

  17. #17
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
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    for me about one planck time or 12 altoseconds...
    paula

  18. #18
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Probably after I "purged" for the fifth time and went back to it again. This girl doesn't need an anvil to fall on her head--nosiree!
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  19. #19
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    this is a great question...and my answer is just like some of the others here....after a few purges you realize crossdressing isnt going anywhere. Your best bet at that point is to embrace and accept it as a part of you. You will enjoy it, and your life alot more.

  20. #20
    Member Sarina Curtis's Avatar
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    I knew it was going to stick when I realized that CDing was the only stress release valve I had that ALWAYS worked. Though it has only been in the last year that I tried it frequently enough to see the truth.

  21. #21
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I have realised it yet...

    And while I'm having fun with it at the moment, could it go away in the future...? Who knows... I think it's possible it could do dark again for a while... and in some ways I wish it would - things would be much easier again, but it's not likely to, is it..?

    Hmmmm.... Can I get back to you and let you know when I finally do realise...? Fun, but not fun....

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  22. #22
    New Member karens70's Avatar
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    I only came to realise it wasnt going away when I was busted by my wife and it caused me to really think about what this 'thing' was that I was doing. Once she knew and I came to terms with it, the purging stopped and for a brief period the pink fog descended quite quickly where I seemed to be dressing all the time (probably related to the stress of being outed). Now I am 10 months in it has calmed down and its a part of my life I accept, I do it because I enjoy it.

    The one piece of advise I have is that once you can finally accept it is part of you and it isn't going away, even in those moments when you are feeling all alpha male and dressing like a woman is so far off your radar, if you can still admit to yourself that even though you may not feel like doing it now but acknowledge to yourself it is something you do you and enjoy it, you will find a strange sense of calm about the whole situation.

    thats not some made up wisdom BS, that is exactly what happened to me. I dressed in womens clothes for 30 years and still managed to convince myself it was a phase!

  23. #23
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    Hello world,
    I'd like to add, after the birth of each of my children, I thought to myself I'm cured, no ithe bitths didn't cure me, about a month after each birth I was back in a skirt!

  24. #24
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    Probably in my mid-teens, (a long time ago!) when I started dressing fully as an adult woman. I knew this was right for me then, and that feeling has never diminished in the slightest and I know it never will.

  25. #25
    Ex prisoner in paradise CostaRicaRachel's Avatar
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    I'm not very smart. For 56 years, I fought it at every step, I lived or
    worked where I could not possibly indulge. I denied it all the time,
    I pretended it did not exist. Every now and then, I would just explode and
    indulge for a few days or a week, then I would purge everything and go back
    into complete denial.

    About a ear ago, I finally accepted I was not going to change, went to a therapist.
    etc.

    Now I am trying to figure out where on the trangender line I fit in. Right now, I
    can't even figure out who I should date?

    Life was simpler when I was in complete denial
    Although your current visions might be grounded in reality,
    there are no shortcuts to get from here to there.
    Face the facts and realize that you still may have to manifest this
    dream the old-fashioned way: by creating a concrete plan,
    putting in the hard work and maintaining an
    unwavering determination to make it happen.

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