What makes you “pass”?
I have found that going to the mall between the hours of 10am to 6pm dressed as a business woman that I can pull it off about 90% of the time.
I wear everything “sensible”. Not too short or too bright, or too sheer (darn!). But that’s what it take to “pass”: to “blend”, so I blend.
And I really enjoy the outings.
What about you, how do you pull it off?
I don't really think that I pass. But some others have told me that I am wrong. Somethings that may assist:
- I dress appropriate to the situation
- My wig is really good
- Confidence
- And, I think most importantly, I don't try to pass and I don't care if people know that I am a guy, so I just act normal, the same as I would as if I was presenting as a guy.
My hair is past my shoulders... I dress like any other woman in my age group... Conservative with my makeup... 40B cup breasts... And confidence. I try to soften my voice but so far I have not had any problems. Hope I didn't just jinx myself!!!
Depending on traffic, I just use a heavy foot on the accelerator! Actually, I would love to really pass, but since that is out of the cards, I am happy to blend. I am always dressed just a little, and sometimes a lot, less casually than most of the girls and ladies put there, i.e. more formally or dressier. That being said, I am not a wall flower and do want to be noticed for how well I look, well at least how well I look in my mirror at home and in my mind! I do the business lady, the classy lady going to a play, the more girly (whatever that really means) woman with flowing or frilly skirts or dresses, and the harder and sexier woman in tighter short skirts or leather.
How do I pull it off? Well, in my opinion, quite well based on all the nice compliments I get when out, some of which I believe are actually very sincere. I do realize that sometimes my wonder outfit actually wasn't that wonderful once I get home and think about it. But, that to me is part of my fun in continually trying new looks, outfits and styles, some that work and some that don't. I am very aware what other women wear and I try to get close to those styles that I see and like.
PS: As said above, confidence and attitude also play a big part in the whole scheme of things when it comes to passing/blending.
Ditto! Actually, when you forget that you are dressed, you are passing.Originally Posted by Nadine Spirit
Hard to say when you actually pass and don't as a lot of people fail to look up. At well over 6' in heels (always heels!) I naturally draw attention - as any tall girl does. This invites closer scrutiny but most people have to be breathing the same air before they notice. And I always dress well, never for blending in. At this time of year that means a smart coat, 3" ankle boots and stockings (sometimes patterned opaques) for what is visible. Doesn't sound special but Vancouver was voted the 3rd worst dressed city in the world and it shows.
Angela xx
Bad lighting and great makeup.
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
Great question and intrested to see the answers. I know I don't pass as most don't really and I try to blend.
I have a chance this weekend to actually go out which being Halloween prob won't matter much anyway.
But I plan on doing an in home dress rehearsal, with makeup and walking.
I do agree you have to own it hold your head up and just be yourself with just a bit of feminine flare
Hope I pull it off.
Jennifer I love that statement! Very true.
"Missed it by that much!"
Don't know about passing, and I love those who say "Miss"
I do sometimes forget I've a male body, so that probably helps me pass
If I had a secret, it would be dress according to activity, less is best with makeup, and just be confident
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
I just dress like the women I see everyday and go about my day.
I agree with Jennifer just forget you are dressed.
The best way to pass is to:
Attend a convention for the sightless.
Take advantage of a power failure after dark.
Halloween.
But for me to not be too obviously a guy in a dress,:
Appropriate clothing
Appropriate accessories including a wedding ring set
Appropriate hair
Appropriate shoes and purse
Appropriate nails
Because if you dress like your fantasy hooker, you are going to look like a guy in a fantasy and out yourself. But give them what they expect to see and unless they are willing to spend the time, about 6.5 seconds, they will not process that something does not fit. But since their love for their phone will not allow them more than 6 seconds of freedom, they usually pass by. Unless they and their phone are having a tiff.
It isn't that you have to be pretty, or slim, or short. You just need to put enough effort in to the illusion to project what you want them to see. Then the onus is on them. Is it a guy? Is it a woman? If I say something and it IS a woman, then she is going to be upset and make a fuss and everyone is going to look not at her but to the impolite person. But by then their phone is calling and they HAVE to read that text. Might be something important like a friend saying that they are going to the grocery store.
About every fourth time out some homophobe will say something barely audible. Or about one in twenty times some self appointed sexual orientation expert, who wishes to make it clear to all that he has no social etiquette, may say something. But otherwise hold your head high and remember, you know more than they ever will about life and choices.
Just have fun. That and a smile will do more than you can imagine.
I am having SO MUCH FUN with this!
Last edited by BillieAnneJean; 10-28-2014 at 03:23 AM.
What makes me pass? Prune juice.
I have atheory that most people see what they expect to see, based on a very few superficial visual clues -- eg skirt + boobs (reasonable size, not cartoon size!) + long hair suggest female, tall+ broad shoulders suggest male. So long as you provide more strong female clues than male clues, they will see "woman" -- or in my case, "old ugly woman" !
The absolute give-away, I reckon, is the special crossdresser walk -- the splay-footed bandy-legged waddle that looks as though you've got something holding your thighs apart
I'm really enjoying the comments.
I like Jennifer's the best: "when you forget that you are dressed, you are passing".
I like Rachel's too: being called "Miss".
I'm 6'1" so I wear 3/4" heels, unless I go to a Gay bar then I get to wear my black-mini and 3" heels.
I like my "hooker" outfit the best but I'd never wear that to the mall!
The photo that I posted I'm wearing a business suit: jacket (which you see) and matching skirt.
I ALWAYS were long sleeves since I have big arms (weight lifting) so the jacket tops hide a lot.
Also wear a 42C, which is the perfect size for my build. Hair below shoulders (this photo doesn't show it, but I've got a ponytail).
Someone said it was "attitude" and I agree. Act as if you belong.
Great comments. Enjoy reading them all.
Last edited by CherylFlint; 10-28-2014 at 05:05 AM.
Hi,
I dont try to pass or blend in no point apart from looking silly or worse if i try, even when your a female does not say you look like a female , pretty much people see what they wont to and the others they talk with me and then hear... and... see who i am very few who dont accept im just a female at 200 hundred paces people know who i am .
Are you a stranger do you not wont to be known or just passed by , that would be too hard for myself and wont happen and to me thats... so.so..... boring i like meeting new people . and after i,ll see and meet them again, and my voice, accepted as normal .
To blend in ,okay lets see my Renaissance outfits dressed like a wench or a Chatelain, i.m sure not going to blend in am i , and be seen, in one day and talk with others some 150 people, men and women children as well .
I wonder if i would be treated any different if i were an cross dresser , what would i need to do, be compleatly made up wig and all the rest and no one would know me doubt it, three miner details would give me away . i know because this is how it is , and those who know me.
My smile my expressive face and my voice.
i would... hate.... being made up its just not me and hiding my being behind a mask . i dont think i would make or be a good dresser,...Oh well....
...noeleena...
Last edited by noeleena; 10-28-2014 at 05:11 AM.
I do exactly like what Nadine and Joan said
- I dress appropriate to the situation
- My wig is really good
I dress like any other woman in my age group... Conservative with my makeup... 38C cup breasts... And confidence. I try to soften my voice but so far I have not had any problems.
Whatever doesn't make me "flunk" I guess. I just go with the flow and the feelings. If we are not convinced of who we are ourselves, how will others be?
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I think the posts above pretty much cover it except for always wearing heels.
What shouts "crossdresser" is six inch platform heels, a way too short miniskirt, way too much makeup, too small hips and too large breasts.
I hesitate to say pass, but generally, I can blend right in if I'm dressed in the manner you describe or something slightly more casual.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
The only things that will help me pass is a total power failure, no emergency lights. and the ability to "hug" the wall as I continue towards my destination.
Bobbi
OK.
Distance and motion. I can go out presenting any way I want here in Vegas. As long as I don't enable scrutiny, no one notices.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Hi Cheryl,
To be honest I doubt any of us truly pass. That would imply that you could walk into a room engage people in conversation and everyone would think you were a woman. I believe we (even the prettiest young ones) have certain tells that give us away. Now "blending" is not outside of the realm of possibility for many. I blend due to a combination of my size, shape and clothing choice. I tend to dress in everyday fashions depending on where I am (situational specific). My wig is reasonable (not perfect but then again hair is never perfect), my mannerisms and walk is as close a proximity to female as I can get. Finally, I act like I belong. When I stopped worrying about what people think and began to be "just me" out and about regardless of if I was boy or girl, I found I blended easier. I think there is a lot to be said about confidence as people can almost sense your fear/apprehension and that draws them to look your way. Now on close up interaction (e.g., ordering a coffee or engaging a person in conversation) all bets are off, I cease to blend at that point . . . but then again I don't really care as I know who I am . . . me
Hugs
Isha
my thoughts too....so i dont try....i just be the best me I can and I let others love it or leave it....
Yeah! I'm with both of you. I'd love to be able to pass, but I'm pretty darn sure that's never going to happen.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.
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