Act your age-Resent your age ?

[Teresa]

I've been CDing most of my life much of it fitted in opportune moments, no thought of putting outfits together and usually coming to a sexual ending and the ensuing shame and guilt !
Much of this changed when I came out to my wife in my forties, ( I submitted a thread a while ago asking why so many come out in their forties .) I felt much freer and started to buy my own underwear, but was still happy to share my wife's clothes, which is part of my CDing needs , heels were more of a problem and I began to enjoy makeup.
The coming out was fairly short lived, the freedom I thought I had evaporated into a DADT situation, so it's taken till now and the realisation that CDing is for life that I've made things happen ! Shaving legs and buying heels made me realise I could look OK, I feel I want to play catch up with all the lost years ! So should I just accept my age and act it or do I resent my age and say what the hell and go for it while I can ?
Members who have consistently dressed may not have this problem and will probably tell me to act my age ! Is there really no fool like an old fool ?

[Laura28]

The hell with age dress and act the way you feel. I may not go out dressed like a twenty ur old but I like seeing my self dressed like one. A lot of us missed that feeling when we were in our twentys and for me at least for a brief moment when I dress a little sexy I feel twenty again. No harm no foul.

[CherylFlint]

It's hard. That photo of you in the mini with the jacket top is EXACTLY what I look like when I'm in, what I call, my "hooker" outfit.
It's the look that I enjoy the most, by far. When I first started to go out in public that's what I wore, but then it dawned on me what I was trying to accomplish, which was to be accepted by society as a girl, a REAL girl, and not some either "guy trying to pass" or a "girl with low morals".
That's when I learned that in order to BE a girl you had to act and dress for the occassion (darn!).
My wife usually chooses what she would like to see me in, and she has NEVER picked-out my black mini-skirt, the "leather-look" from Frederick's of Hollywood.
Nor has she pick-out ff seamed black stockings. She chooses just your normal beige stockings without the seam (darn).
So I had to give-up wearing what I most enjoy wearing, at least out in public 99% of the time.
Don't get me wrong, going to the mall and "passing" is great, and I do it often, but if I could get away with my "hooker" outfit 24-7, that's what I'd be in.
However, when I'm at home and we're not going out, I will wear what makes me happy (read "relaxed") and that WILL NOT be age appropirate, indeed.
But the name of the game is to HAVE FUN, while ALWAYS staying safe.
I "pass", and wearing my mini sends a message to guys that maybe I'd like to "party". And if they come on to you and find out that you're really a guy, well, that insults their manhood somehow, if you know what I mean, and then they can get REALLY mad mean and nasty.
Trust me on that one, I've had a few problems going to my car dressed in my mini, where I've had none dressed as a business woman or an outfit that "blends".
Stay safe, PLEASE!, and have fun!
Love that pic of you in your mini! Good for you! You go, girl!

[Kate Simmons]

I never worry about the age factor Teresa. Whenever I go out I go out to enjoy myself and have fun. Then playing "catch up" is not necessary as I am actually doing it.

[Krisi]

If you're dressing at home, wear anything that you like. If you're going out in public with the intention of trying to pass or blend in, you need to dress your age. Nobody is suggesting dressing like a bag lady, but older women will generally wear longer skirts, Less revealing blouses, less flashy colors, and of course lower or no heels. You can still be well dressed and classy. Avoid the "hooker" look.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Oh Teresa ... we always have strong polarised views with the age appropriate threads. I'm too bruised to join in again. Nice legs BTW

[SamanthaSometimes]

My wardrobe is divided into two styles: going out in public which is appropriate for my age and then some racey outfits that I enjoy wearing the most but do so in private.

[kimdl93]

I'm more inclined towards act like a grown up. I have no desire to be seen as a middle aged Tween. There are thousands of styles available that look good on women of all ages.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa, Never get yourself locked into looking & dressing OLD I always knock off 15 or 20 years and it works for me.

[Marcelle]

Hi Teresa,

Well fashion is a personal choice and sometimes we have to go with what makes us feel good. I tend to dress to blend in with the vanilla world and that includes a lot of jeans, tops, boots, some dresses (at the knee level) but that is me and that is what makes me feel good. It also serves the secondary purpose of not attracting too much attention. Now does this mean you have to dress dowdy? No. IMHO there is a difference between dressing "trendy" and dressing "too young". There is a point where you cannot pull off certain looks anymore regardless of your gender. If we reverse this and think about dressing as a guy . . . I could never pull off the baggy pants, boxers showing, skateboarder dude regardless of how good of shape I am in . . . it would look ridiculous for a 50 year old man to be dressed as such. Likewise, even if I passed (100 percent - not going to happen) as a woman I could never pull off some the twenty something looks (tight short skirts, crop tops, short shorts, etc.) because I would look like an older woman trying to recapture my youth. If you can live with that, then so be it and enjoy but I doubt many want to do that in public.

Now dressing "trendy" transcends age because we can all find a look which works. As a guy I tend to dress more metro when out on a date with my wife because it gives me a more youthful look without looking like a guy trying to dress young. There are plenty of great fashions for men of my age which looks fun and carefree without looking silly. Likewise when dressed as Isha, I can find plenty of "trendy" fashion tips to give a more youthful carefree vibe without looking like I am trying to recapture a lost youth. As a more mature gal, I don't feel the need to dress in skirts which go past my knees (unless I am purposely wearing a maxi dress) or apply to some unwritten rule that older women can't wear heels. I have seen plenty of very attractive older women dressed in power suits with great heels who make the look work for them. Do they look like an older women trying to look 20? No, they look like a confident woman wearing what makes her feel good.

To bottle the genie on this one. IMHO there is not right or wrong way to dress . . . it is what makes you feel good that counts. If some see it as "silly" when you are out and about but you don't care . . . then that is fine. Goodness we are men who dress in women's clothing so who are we to judge one's sense of fashion.

Hugs

Isha

[CarlaWestin]

I don't know, I go to the mall and check out women who are on the verge of 59 years old. Most appear as though they've given up on trying to look good. And not a single one is wearing a sexy maid dress. I'm in it for the fun but when I do casual, I'm still more elegant than most.

[GinaD]

Teresa, mu opinion is to wear what you feel comfortable wearing.

[Adriana Moretti]

I dont act my age at all.....that would mean I would have to grow up..and I'm too imature to do that ..i def dont dress my age either i will do that when i cant get away with it anymore....which should be soon.........

[Maria Blackwood]

Hate my age. When I hit 50 I plan to start aging backward.

I admit there's a detail or three to figure out...

[Teresa]

I don't mind the " Hooker " look but most of my skirts aren't that short, apart from two in the Carla maid style ! I prefer them just on the knee !
I included the leggy picture to make the point about how shaved legs stockings and heels can even make sixty plus legs look good !!

Carla why did you stop at 59 ? 60 isn't such a slippery slope downhill !!

Thanks all for you comments, I do appreciate your thoughts !

[Rachael Leigh]

Was thinking about this just the other day as I was planning my outing this weekend. I love the younger looks with the short skirts and cute dresses, trouble is most of those clothes dont fit me. I can find short skirts that will fit so I thought you know what if JLo can pull it off why not me, shes pushing 40 if not there already and besides Ive been blessed with great legs so why not show off. Like Isha I too want to blend so I do try my best to tone down a little but most just go with what they feel comfortable in and hay we are men trying to pass as women how comfortable is that anyway

[Bria]

Act my age? Not if I can help it! That would require me to stop driving race cars, move into retirement living and watch a lot of day time TV. Not going to happen!

That said, I just can't roll the calendar back more than 15 or 20 years. Makeup won't cure sagging chin and neck, so I'm stuck with being a classy 50ish, well maybe late 50ish lady, skirts at the knee, straight leg pants or jeans coupled with modest tops as the wife likes chest fuzz.

So be it, it's still lots of fun!!

Hugs, Bria

[Jorja]

Nobody wants to see grandma in a miniskirt dressed like a hooker or dressed like a 13 year old girl. Other than that, have at it there are a ton of fashion choices out there. Have fun with it.

[Isabella Ross]

The hell with age. Do what feels good (within reason, of course). And you look great, anyhow.

[MatildaJ.]

Is it possible to plan a somewhat inappropriate outfit (short skirt), and then wear a respectable coat over it, and head out to a safe space: a CD-friendly club, or a private party with friends? You could wear flats, but bring heels in a bag.

[AnneC]

As I have aged, I think I have learned to appreciate the woman in me more. I pay more attention to looking the age I am and it just feels right.

[Lorileah]

Nobody wants to see grandma in a miniskirt dressed like a hooker or dressed like a 13 year old girl.

no one? Hmmm...better talk to Rachael Welch, Goldie Hawn, Blythe Danner, Jessica Lange....Have you seen Susan Lucci in a short dress? Sophia Loren still has it. I would love to look like Ann-Margaret in 20 years.

Jenny McCarthy is going to marry and become a grandmother....

I buy at least 25% of my clothes in juniors...I still look good in them This whole, "you gotta dress this way..." seems to be hypocritical for a bunch of males who want to wear "female" clothing. One last point. If I don't want to be noticed...I will wear what I wore for 50 years. If I spend anhour getting to look good, somebody better damn well notice

I've always tried to do my very best, and I want to be the very best age, whatever age I am.

Ann-Margret

Once you get rid of the idea that you must please other people before you please yourself, and you begin to follow your own instincts - only then can you be successful. You become more satisfied, and when you are, other people will tend to be satisfied by what you do.

Raquel Welch

[Nikki A.]

I dress comfortably but classy. I'm not a mini skirt person, too hard to stay presentable. I was at a CD weekend at a local resort and there was an older dresser, wearing an extremely short outfit who had a bit too much to drink. Not a pretty sight when her hem was basically hiked to her waist.
At sixty years old I tend to dress as a middle aged woman would dress. Knee length skirt, nice top although in the summer I do have a shorter skort that I can wear that looks ok on me.

[Janine cd]

I agree that acting one's age when dressing at home is not necessary. If the clothes make you feel lovely and feminine, dress any way you can. I've been wearing skirts and dresses that were twenty years younger than me for most of my adult life.

[Sarah Doepner]

You are making this complicated. Not only can I not properly deal with my gender, now I have to deal with my age as well? Actually I've been told I don't look my age when in drab (no, I don't look older), and once I get my complexion worked on and put on hair with rich color I think I look quite a bit younger than might be accounted for in my trips around the sun.

But does that make it possible for me to go out in public and try to drop another 15 or 20 years? Probably not in the cards for me, but that's me, not you. My height and frame kind of put me in a position to attract some attention, so when I do get out of the house my choice is to work toward the blend-in or pass-by mode most of the time. At home, I will occasionally try something much younger, but my focus is to "practice what I present". That kind of consistency helps reduce the anxiety just a bit more and, for me, that's a good thing.