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Thread: Halloween may out you!

  1. #1
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    Halloween may out you!

    A word of caution!

    Many here and many more not here think that Halloween is the safe time to dress.

    When I was younger and a group of us were joking about going to a Halloween dance someone suggested that we go as girls. I didn't say a word in favor of it, but everyone else thought it was funny and a great idea. The girl I had a date with didn't say much when I told her I was going as a nurse. I purchased all the clothes and when my mother and sisters saw me in the outfit they pointed out that I looked way too experienced wearing the outfit. So I changed costumes. My date mentioned at the party that I was originally going to come as a nurse. One of the girls who had known me told her that I wore women's clothes on a regular basis. It destroyed our relationship.

    On another occasion not too long ago my wife and I were at a Halloween party at a friends home. One of the guys came as a screen siren. He looked convincing in his long slinky dress, hairless body, great makeup, and perfectly comfortable sashaying in his very high heals. Everyone complimented him oh how convincing he looked. One of the women asked his wife how she had gotten him ready. She responded, I didn't that is his thing! I caught it immediately and later a few others mentioned, Do you think he dresses up like a woman? He looks like he feels comfortable wearing those clothes.

    What I'm saying is be careful about how you dress. I've gone to a party and been dressed as a woman but made it obvious that I wasn't one. If I went to one now with so many knowing I wear women's clothes, the only thing that someone would say is, I thought you were going to wear a costume!

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member MelanieAnne's Avatar
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    one of the women asked his wife how she had gotten him ready. She responded, i didn't that is his thing!
    Last edited by MelanieAnne; 10-30-2014 at 10:42 PM.

  3. #3
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    You can get outed basically anytime you walk past the front door and leave the house. If you want to have the experience of being out and femme, Halloween is the perfect time to do so. Let's face it, a lot of us are not 100% passable to begin with so our "costume" (or the excuse of it) should work for most. From your stories it sounds like you were careless because you went there looking your best and to the nine with a bunch of people you knew and one of them knowing that You dressed to begin with. Your friend outed you, and your other friend got outed by his wife. No one thought anything until they said something.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  4. #4
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    Dressing as Joan from "Mad Men" tomorrow... my wife's going as Don.

  5. #5
    Member Toni Citara's Avatar
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    Today at work everybody is talking about dressing for Halloween... my best friend, and "senior" in the place, (we have been friends since the third grade!! literally spent 80% of our lives together as friends, sports, scouts, etc.), blurted out - Hey, "Toni" why don't you come in drag tomorrow, I know you have the clothes for it.

    The office went silent. I looked at him and said - "I only wear evening wear, I don't do business casual"... and flipped him the bird. Everybody laughed.

    Best part... we spent the last five hours at a strip club, I made a new friend, she sells corsets and I do the Mary Kay thing... she used to sell Mary Kay in college... HUGE connection... her child goes to one of the schools I do martial arts with, etc., ya da yada yada... Crossdressing has its Privileges!!

    **** Yeah!! Toni is the Player in da house!!

    Not so much. But that is what I will hear all day tomorrow.

    So... my thought is... do the CD thing? I want to, but for me it is not a costume. It is me. I could wear a Dobak and, yeah... not a costume, I wear one 4 nights a week already because I'm a martial artist (or evolving martial artist as I prefer to be called).

    I'm thinking business skirt, hose/heels, blouse, and wig... but a monster mask for the face.

    Or, just screw it and don't dress.
    “They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.” (Eddie Izzard)

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Personally, I would NEVER attend a function where people know me dressed as a female of any kind. Unless you're dressed as a female perody? People will talk. And, wearing balloon boobs, crappy make up over your beard and a $3 wig isn't satisfying for most of us!

    Even at the stranger filled venues I attend I would never go dressed as a woman. I go out on Halloween dressed as a woman in a costume. The bonus is I can often pass!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Member MonctonGirl's Avatar
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    Thank- you for this caution. It makes sense.

    These days my response would be a plausible explanation + a joke:

    "Oh, I just searched youtube for how to be a woman for Halloween
    and it told me everything - cheap & easy makeup, how to walk, all of it.
    Only took an hour to learn it AND get ready ... so don't I know what takes women so long
    after years of experience."
    Last edited by MonctonGirl; 10-31-2014 at 12:51 AM. Reason: structure

  8. #8
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    Here is a great idea don't go to Halloween parties as a woman and that problem won't happen.
    Guys that CD at events like this are just asking to be outed sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
    If you are a CD and you want to keep it on the down low why go to the party dressed as a woman?
    I think most of you that do this want to be outed in the first place.
    Just an honest observation from my point of view. I know I will get thrown under the bus for this but you know when you speak your mind around here people don't want to hear the truth.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 10-31-2014 at 01:16 AM.

  9. #9
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    I will agree there is a high possibility you may "out" yourself by looking and acting too good. I've watched the fund raiser "Walk In Her Shoes" when I was still working. The women around me spent much of their time trying to identify cross dressers. Any guy who is able to strut his stuff in five inch heels was a cross dresser for sure. Being able to comfortably walk in five inch heels takes a lot of time and practice. If you're going to go to a party and stand and dance for hours in five inch heels, who are you kidding?

    I will agree the vast majority of us will attempt to appear as feminine as possible. And, that is not just a pretty dress, makeup and hair, but, also feminine mannerisms. So, what's a cross dresser to do on Halloween? My forays into the world on Halloween and intending to mix with people included dropping in grocery stores to buy soda or going into a doughnut shop. If your wife is on board with mixing with the public, I recommend driving to an area of town where neither she or you will be identified. Go to a movie. Stop for coffee at a Starbucks inside a Barnes and Nobles.

    Especially as a single guy I would never recommend going to work dressed as a woman. You're destined to spend your entire career among speculating women. And, never do it twice. MATT LAUER, what woman are you going to be this Halloween?

  10. #10
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    If you are out to all your friends then by all means go dressed as a woman if you want.
    If you are one of those that don't want to be outed then don't go enfemme.
    Seems pretty simple to me.
    Why have some lost their common sense?

  11. #11
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    Wow, crossdressing poorly. Guys who dress as girls, dressing as a guy dressed as a girl, but with guy mannerisms?
    The ultimate passing by not passing to avoid the passing.
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  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    With all the confusion her I might go dressed as "Beverley Sims."
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  13. #13
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    I've said it many times - if you are in the closet but decide to go out to where people know you dressed as a female, they are bound to notice how well you do it and figure that this is not the only time you dress as a female. Don't do it if you don't want to out yourself.

    The other option is to go somewhere that people don't know you. A public place like a bar (but not one where you normally hang out). Go to one that's having a costume party. You'll fit right in.

  14. #14
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    Hi Liz, I dress 364 nights a year and take this one night off so Mr. Drab can hand out candy.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

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  15. #15
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Oh what the heck, go for it! I was at a Halloween store the other day looking at costumes and was surprised to see how many sexy nurse costumes, and pirate winches, and other girl type costumes had a picture on the package of a guy wearing it. Of course they went for funny, but it was a guy in that nurses uniform, and the size was extra large. They know your here, and they want your money! And they don't care what your friends think of you.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  16. #16
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Here is a great idea don't go to Halloween parties as a woman and that problem won't happen.
    Guys that CD at events like this are just asking to be outed sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
    If you are a CD and you want to keep it on the down low why go to the party dressed as a woman?
    I think most of you that do this want to be outed in the first place.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tina B. View Post
    Oh what the heck, go for it!
    Tracii and Tina, Well, maybe you both are right. Last night -- for the first time -- we went to a Halloween party at a public place -- in this case, the Ocean Grille in Vero Beach that is famous for its Halloween deco's and dinners. There were 12 of us, and we were the only ones in costume. I went as the Goddess of the Grapes and Sue as the Vineyard cat. (Lots of folks thanked the group for the entertainment.) The group largely know about me, so no biggy. What I did not expect was that a GG friend who used to work with me showed up with a group of ladies who also used to work there. She came to our table to meet another of us, and here is where I probably proved Tracii's point: I just had to get up and say hi to her. There was this puzzled look, then her friend said "I think you know who this is.." and the light bulb went off. "I don't believe it!" Well, she just had to bring me over to the other table. "I know she looks familiar ... wait .. no way!!" I got lots of compliments, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

    Here is where I differ with Tracii: they all thought it was a great costume ("After all, it is Halloween"). So just what did I out? I'm not particularly in the closet (if you've followed my posts, you know that), and if I've tipped off folks at work about my TG, so be it. I'll never show up in my office dressed, and if I can enlighten some friends and colleagues, I think I have accomplished something.

    Whether or not this is "bad news", IMHO, very much depends on our own particular circumstances.

    BTW, here's a pic:
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    Especially as a single guy I would never recommend going to work dressed as a woman. You're destined to spend your entire career among speculating women. And, never do it twice. MATT LAUER, what woman are you going to be this Halloween?
    This morning Matt Lauer was "Pat" from Saturday Night Live played by Julia Sweeney. She was there too. You know, the character of ambiguous sex. I wonder about him.

    My first time out was a Haloween party. I did it all to perfection which today I know was a mistake. The chatter started after. I think people saw me having TOO much of a good time. I basicaly outed myself. Oh well. Can't un-ring a bell.

    Cheryl

  18. #18
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    I just couldn't bring myself to do a crappy job of makeup, I doubt I could find a wig that isn't clean and well kept, I'd have to wear formwear as well as my breastforms, it wouldn't work if I couldn't wear my new glasses and I'll be damned if I'll stumble around in heels. If I dress the way I want to, even as a nurse or lunchroom lady, I'll out myself, no question, I'll not be dressing en femme to party with people who know me tonight. I wonder what's on the DVR?
    Sarah
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  19. #19
    Silver Member Annaliese's Avatar
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    That's been my fear, and why I have never done it, either I look good or not at all, will never dress to make fun of my self.

  20. #20
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    So if you dress as a devil and do a good job...they will think you are the devil all the time? Logically this doesn't make sense. Many people dress as something on Halloween and do a great job and no one thinks that there is an ulterior motive. Last night I saw Cruella DeVille...but I doubt Kat kidnaps puppies. I would think that IF a man wanted to really make a statement with his costume he would try and do the best he could no matter what. After all isn't that what Halloween is all about? Having a rockin costume?

    I really kinda doubt that the Mistress I saw the other night really did that in the privacy of her own dungeon.
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  21. #21
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    All of this has me thinking some more. If we can do an awesome job presenting as a woman at Halloween, why aren't we doing it any other day of the year? Yes, Halloween is a good excuse but just that might arouse suspicion. "Ted did this so well. I wonder if he does this at other times?" I certainly wouldn't want to do a crappy makeup job or present a foolish charicature as a woman. I'd maybe want to dress like a public figure, movie character, or personality. That might be more convincing and throw off the dogs that might out us.

    Cheryl

  22. #22
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    Have a very close friend who is a professional makeup artist and has given me a makeover for some special occasions - including a Halloween party last year. Yes, I went as a gal from the roaring twenties and for the first two hours no one guessed who I was or my "gender". I'm certain itt wasn't the makeup or costume that gave me away, but some of my guy actions. Had a lot of fun, and so did most of the crowd, but isn't that what Halloween is all about? Enjoy.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    So if you dress as a devil and do a good job...they will think you are the devil all the time? ...
    Come on Lorileah, you know that just doesn't apply to the cross dress argument. Your examples are characters from horror, mythology, whatever. Those are easily dismissed as a costume. The underlying "why" is not asked. A man, however, dressed as a woman, is always questioned as to "why?" Always.

    i know that many want this day to be a free pass, but simply is not. A man attempting to pass himself off as a woman is suspect. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. All this means is that one should be prepared for the result of their actions.
    Last edited by Jenniferathome; 10-31-2014 at 02:51 PM.

  24. #24
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    Now Chari is onto something here. Go in a period costume! You could do the Jacki Kennedy or any 1950's look or even something Victorian. Good reason to wear a tight corset and a flowing dress!

    Cheryl

  25. #25
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    I would say embrace the day and wear proudly in public and not worry about it. If someone questions how good you look, walk or etc, then say "Thank you, it took a lot of research, practice and some female assistance to get everything just right, so I don't fall and/or look like a fool". I have friends who are serious into their costumes and practice talking, motions, actions and etc. Be it them coming as Jason, Freddy, a zombie or any of the other thousands of characters out there. It's all about the ability to be someone else for one night a year without judgment, and a lot of people practice because it's fun. Difference is, we get plenty of practice year round, because it's who we are and what we embrace. Halloween is our time to shine without judgment, so this year I'm going as a short skirted bearded lady wearing 4" stiletto's and plan on working it like any other day. Happy Halloween All!

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