Boy vs. Man vs. Crossdresser

[JenniferYager]

As a BOY, I was immature. I remember once driving fast down a road, chasing my friends car and throwing pennies at it because it was COOL. I remember watching guys in college get girls super drunk so they could sleep with them, and I thought they were cool. I remember thinking it was cool to drink a lot, smoke a lot and swear a lot. I mean, that's what made me a man, or so I thought.

Then I had to grow up and became a man. I had to survive getting an engineering degree. I had to support a family. I had to lead people at work who in many cases were smarter than me and in most cases were lazier than me. The hangover the next day meant I turned in crappy homework. I would come home and everyone wanted to go "out," but I was exhausted because I stayed late to fix an engineering casualty, and all I wanted to do was relax. As a MAN, I realized that the things I thought were cool as a BOY were now annoying. I knew who showed up late to work with a hangover because I had done that in the past. I started to set a better example. I worked to inspire those around me and help make them better. I realized that the short thrills I got as a BOY never compared to the thrill of watching someone, particularly a young person, mature in part due to my guidance.

Society pushes the message that being a MAN is easy. It's not. Being a BOY is easy. In fact, being a BOY is really easy when you have a steady job, because you have all the money in the world to spend on frivolous things. Being a MAN, well, it's not as interesting or sensational to write about in the news, so you don't see a lot of that.

Where does the CROSSDRESSER fit in? Well, being a MAN is taxing. For me, changing into something else for a while is much more relaxing. Some people change into BOYs (we see it all the time in the news), but for me, being a CROSSDRESSER is way more fun. I get that opportunity to enjoy the female world for a while. It helps me appreciate at least a little bit what real WOMEN go through (rather than the over-sexualized version of women we too often see on the TV). It's a different feeling looking at a mirror and thinking you look sexy instead of looking handsome. I get to enjoy shopping and be a lot more light-hearted in conversation. Not everything becomes a problem that I'm expected to fix. But being a CROSSDRESSER has lots of downs too, so at some point the fun wears out and I go back to being a MAN.

Maybe it's different for other people, but that's how the learning experience has been for me.