I don't know if it's all this snow falling outside my window or what, but I've just been down in the dumps today. I'm at work, and at work I am all dressed drab, all the time. Days like this I don't feel like I'm in my real skin. And when wonder why I don't feel like I'm in my own skin, I start a downward spiral of questions.
When I'm not Katy, I feel half empty. Everything feels more numb. Like I'm saving reactions to everyday life for another time.
I don't even like calling myself a CD. I hate saying "dressing up." I just feel like I'm putting my damn clothes and makeup on.
I wonder if seeing a therapist would actually be beneficial to me. Sometimes I'm afraid of what I will find out. Sometimes I'm afraid I won't like what I would hear. Other times, I feel like I may be disappointed. Idk. End rant.