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Thread: A GG's mind wants to know.....

  1. #1
    Member Sierra_juliette's Avatar
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    A GG's mind wants to know.....

    I have been reading a lot in the forum and there is a pattern or habit I see (a few but only one I will ask about now).

    It seems like quite often when posting or responding to posts, many CD's use and sometimes over use terms like hun, sweetheart, ladies, girls etc when referencing each other. I understand the thought of being dressed and in that feminine mode, but do not understand the need to do this. As a GG, I rarely ever use these terms with my girlfriends, and so would just like to see if there is a reason behind it?

  2. #2
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    ... and I know GG's who use those terms all the time. Then again, I live in Texas where it's pretty common. Perhaps not so much in your neck of the woods.

    ~Melissa
    ~Linebacker Melissa

  3. #3
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I have a difficult time using those feminine terms, names, etc. It is just very hard for me. Of course, i have not been close to another person, for many years, a loner.

  4. #4
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    I'd subscribe to the first response. I hear these terms often in the south from GGs and GMs, but seldom if ever up north.

  5. #5
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    I rarely if ever do. Neither does my mom. My sister on the other hand uses them all the time but thats her natural personality. I know plenty of other women that do to. I think thats the difference though with some CD's it comes across as an act when they over use those terms because its not something that they normally / naturally do - its more a part of the the role and dressing up.

  6. #6
    Woman first, Trans second
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    I've never really understood that either, but I've always chalked it up to the kind of hyper-feminization that a lot of CDs seem to aim for. I imagine that it feels like a very femme affectation to put on, since I think it implies a sense of closeness - that "magical bond women seem to have" that gets talked about fairly often here.

    Edit: I lived in the south for quite a while (Texas, Louisiana) and it's definitely more prevalent there. There are a few places up north where it's common as well. Still, even when I was in the south it was rarely to the degree I see it here, so I do stand by my statement.

    Just to be clear, I'm not judging CDs (a group which to most people presently includes me). Thinking about these types of differences a lot is part of the long, painful process that's led to me coming to the conclusion that I don't identify as a crossdresser. I'm not precisely sure what I AM yet, but it's definitely a good ways further down the transgender spectrum. To a degree, I honestly envy real CDs at this point.
    Last edited by Zooey; 11-25-2014 at 03:19 PM.
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  7. #7
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    ... I've always chalked it up to the kind of hyper-feminization that a lot of CDs seem to aim for.
    I agree with this. Also, those terms are used often and to everybody here in the Deep South (yes, that's a capital D capital S).

  8. #8
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    I think it is a combination of reasons. Certainly some people tend to do it more by that I suspect is a culture and language thing as others have said.

    One important thing to remember is that forums are one of those curious communication methods that is not quite a conversation but not quite written. Many of the nuances of verbal communication are lost e.g. tone of voice, that often carry a lot of meaning. Thus when referring to someone specifically, if I am trying to be formal I will use their forum name, whereas I will use "honey" or "sweetie" if I am trying to convey empathy or sympathy, it's just a bit less stand offish.

    When relying or referring to a group I will tend to use collective female nouns. Imagine you are giving a presentation to a group of women about something. You don't start by saying "welcome guys" you are more likely to say " welcome ladies (and gentlemen)".

    I think lastly that it is tough enough trying to live with a non conventional gener identity as it is. It doesn't take much to reinforce the chosen gender and if that makes some people happy then I don't mind doing it.
    I think for most here it is not meant in a patronising way, it is more an indication of affection and companionship.

  9. #9
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    I'd agree it's cultural and regional, Sierra... even speaking as a Limey - we have our own regional terms of endearment...

    A charming, mature lady who serves in a nearby tea shop has been known to refer to both me AND my wife in the course of one transaction at the cash register as:

    Darling
    Love
    Hun
    Dear
    m'Duck
    Babe
    Sweetheart

    And the same to her co-workers, largely GGs...

    I'm sure there is also a touch of over-compensation here, but I think it's also seen as a way of being both supportive and sensitive to a group of folks that often have had this side of themselves suppressed and depleted over decades... I'd rarely do it in real life, and rarely here too, but I think we can allow that latitude given the nature of how we all are...?

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    I know a few GG's that use these terms with everyone all the time, even in a business setting. It’s just being nice, Hun.

  11. #11
    Gold Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    Clearly you have been reading with a thoughtful and open mind. Thank you.
    Linguistics aside. I think the female pronouns and terms of endearment are a form of validation. Silly, perhaps. To me it says, "You are a crossdresser, and I am OK with that."

  12. #12
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
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    As you've seen from all the replies, using those terms depends mostly on where you're from and often how old you are.

    Carol.
    My name is Carol.

  13. #13
    *~Plain-Vanilla TG Girl~*
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    hmmm. i don't recall if i do that, but it's always
    quite nice when it's said to me!


  14. #14
    Trish Trishpdxcd2's Avatar
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    I agree with the hyper-feminization...having said that I use sweetie quite a bit.

  15. #15
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    Hi

    I'll add another term to the pot. If you go to Scotland a male will often refer to a GG as 'hen'. Not seen that term used on the forum.

    Vikky
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    Adventure before dementia

  16. #16
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    OMG Hon ! Here is Balwamore it's not only it's not only socially required to use Hon as a term of endearment to EVERYONE it culturally inbred. We even have a Wikipedia page about it. And it has nothing to do about crossdressing.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_Baltimore#Slang
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  17. #17
    Member Sierra_juliette's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the responses. It was something I had noticed and wondered about. I understand and the occasional usage of the terms, but sometimes seems overly forced or something.

    It isn't something I am judging or truly care much about, just wanted some perspective. I find myself using hun on the phone at work, but that is something I use as a blanket I think so I don't have to try to remember all the names of the thousands I talk to.

    Again, I truly appreciate your input!! As a SO, I am intrigued by the huge range of CD 'types'.

  18. #18
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    I am prone to using sweetie quite a bit. I have actually had some CDs get upset with me for using it with them too much, as if I was hitting on them by using it. Why do I do it? Dunno really. I like to. Also I don't just use it while dressed. I use it frequently throughout my life.

    What I think is kind of funny about this thread is something that my wife and other GGs commonly do. They will observe me doing something while dressed and then tell me "No GG would do that in real life."

    I have been informed that no real GG would ever:
    - go anywhere, at anytime, without her purse
    - set her purse on the ground
    - wear two different colored hair clips
    - touch her breasts at anytime
    - wear certain shoes to certain functions
    - lots of other little things I can't recall

    I used to get upset when GGs would inform me of these things. Now I delight in pointing out to them people that MUST be CDs because they have violated the "no real GG rule of ________"

    I wish people could stop thinking that males do ________ and females do ________ as well as no male would ever ________ and no female would ever ________.

    Some people do some things and some people don't do some things. Wow, incredibly complex huh?

  19. #19
    Mumbler Samantha Clark's Avatar
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    It's pretty clearly an affectation, but I feel its a sweet one. I think that, like dressing, it reaffirms our feminine feelings.

    I also remember feeling pretty darn good when I went into a Mall store in Louisiana and a cute sales clerk called me "sugar." Wow I could stand to hear that no matter what I'm wearing!
    Putting the y (chromosome) in girly!

  20. #20
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    I am not one for using any of the terms like hon or sweetie. Not on here. My wife is basically the only one who ever gets those from me. I will sometimes use fem pronouns on here with regards to another CDer. That kind of makes sense. If someone chooses to use a fem pronoun for me or not, I am fine with either.

    If someone does use the hon or sweetie to me, it does not offend me, but its not going to get reciprocated back, as they are not my wife.
    Last edited by Tina_gm; 11-25-2014 at 04:43 PM.
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  21. #21
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    We're not all like that. I find it precious and somewhat annoying... I don't like it when people refer to me that way. If they want to refer to others that way, that doesn't bother me.

  22. #22
    Kind of shy ;) Linda Leigh's Avatar
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    I don't believe I have ever said that on here. I live in the midwest and never hear that from one GG to another. I hear waitress's and cashiers say it to men but that is all.
    Sometimes I like to dress as Linda Leigh

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  23. #23
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    aw sweetie, you know girlfriend, it ain't nuthin at all. Why Hun, you hear it every day on the nations highways, at truck stops and in little shops. Punkin it is just a way to make your conversation more intimate than sayin' Sir or Ma'am.

    On here I see it as an affectation. Just like "How does a woman walk?" or "When I speak as a woman I go to a higher register".

    Like i said ain't nuthin. I do object to *******izing words like girl into "gurl". This is just plain overkill.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  24. #24
    Member Tiffany Jane's Avatar
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    I have a difficult time using these references as I don't desire a likewise response. I have used the terms, based on what I have seen here trying to not offend those who may feel like they are more lady than their male born bodies may hold. Tiffany is an emotion and a portion of my being, but there is a lot of myself in here as well. It is the balance of the two, as well as the acceptance of socially ridiculed traits I have had to come to terms with over the years.

  25. #25
    Member Annette_boy's Avatar
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    I too lived in Baltimore (Balmer) for many years and I call everyone hon seems like a nice thing

    Hugs Annette
    Last edited by Annette_boy; 11-25-2014 at 06:36 PM.
    "It takes more courage for a man to appear in public wearing a dress than to charge into battle"

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