Hey girls. 26 year old here, I've been dressing for well over 10 years. Last year I started dressing head to toe for the first time and I loved it so much. I'm in a long term relationship with a girl who has no idea of my little secret. Thing is, I'd feel totally embarrassed if she ever found out. While I think she'd be understanding and supportive, I prefer our current situation where I am her manly guy and nothing more. I honestly have no desire for her to know. I know it's not exactly right to hide it, but I want it this way.
Even though I always love dressing up and becoming a girl, when I drink a lot (which I often do much of on weekends), I get an overwhelming desire to doll myself up and hit up the city. This culminated last spring when I was super wasted and went out by myself in full garb. The next day, I was so freaked out by my loss of control that I purged all my belongings, hundreds of dollars in outfits, undergarments, costumes, wigs, and makeup. I constantly long for it all back, and I'm on the verge of splurging again on all of the girly goods. I know I'm a full-blown crossdresser and that it's never going away. I also know that I won't be able to control myself and will inevitably go out and show myself off to the world.
Anybody going through anything similar? Either way, it feels good to finally vent. Thanks for reading :]