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Thread: So…you’re here too.

  1. #1
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    So…you’re here too.

    I went to a local event recently as a benefit for gay marriage rights where people were encouraged to crossdress with a Halloween/cosplay theme. I went to this same event last year and it was what pushed me to accept that this part of me as something that isn’t going away. Because of that, I also decided to come out to my significant other. There were several positive things that happened because of that and since I had so much fun at the event, I was excited to go back to it this year. My fiancé and I went as a couple swapping genders with our outfits. When we finally went to the event, I was shocked to see some I knew was already there waiting in line to go in but hadn't noticed me. I knew this person from work and noticed that he hadn’t put nearly the effort into getting ready as I had. He was wearing a dress but hadn’t even shaved his face. I interpreted this as he supported the community but wasn’t really a crossdresser. I thought about it for a moment and decided that “Well, I could leave and ruin the evening or try to have a good time anyway and forget what anyone else thinks of it.” I decided that I might as well try to have a good time thinking that maybe he won’t even recognize me. Shortly after entering, he came up to my fiancé and I and started talking with us. We chit chatted a bit. It was a pleasant conversation talking like nothing was out of the ordinary. After talking with him, I was worried that it might come up at work but tried not to dwell on it. Suddenly I noticed another acquaintance from work showed up. This guy put even less effort into his outfit. This time I tried to hide myself a bit better because I didn’t want to talk with him. We stayed bit longer, had a couple of drinks, did a little dancing and then decided to go home. I did cut the night shorter than I would have liked because at that point, I don’t think I could have been myself when I knew people there. I’m not sure if the second guy ever noticed me but he didn’t end saying anything. It was weird as if my two lives were starting to come together. While I was a little disappointed to end the night early, I was happy to go out again (my third time ever). Weeks have gone by since that night with no mention so far of me being at a crossdressing event. It may not seem like much but for me it helps me to know that people care very little what’s happening outside their own lives. Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Thank you for sharing the events at your third outing dressed enfemme. My many more follow. Best Wishes !
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

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  3. #3
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    You aught to consider the possibility that they both are crossdressers and the "didn't put much effort into" dressing to maintain an aura of "plausible deniability.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  4. #4
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    Thanks Arlene!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    You aught to consider the possibility that they both are crossdressers and the "didn't put much effort into" dressing to maintain an aura of "plausible deniability.
    That has crossed my mind.

  5. #5
    Just a Cross Dresser Kacey Black.'s Avatar
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    A good read and thanks for sharing, of course.

    Another In Utah

  6. #6
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    That would just probably fall under what are you here for if you don't support the dressers or I can't tell any one because I was there to. Like going to a porn theater and seeing someone you know. Both have to remain quite.

  7. #7
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing this

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Well done you for going- I really admire you. And this probably took nearly as much courage for your SO as for you- she deserves egg nog. Hell, you both deserve egg nog.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Ryce,
    It is events like this that you find out about others that you know.
    Especially in a smaller community.
    As they were there you should have socialised with them.
    You all have the same amount to lose, nothing ventured nothing gained.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Stacy
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    Ryce - Your last sentence is so true. Everyone can get so mixed up about what will they think of me, what are they thinking of me, etc. When it boils down to they probably see you, make a quick thought, then go back inside their heads. And now with smartphones, it is a wonder anyone looks at you to begin with. Glad you had fun on your third time out.

  11. #11
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    All around its great that you had the chance to go out dressed, but I could also see the disappointment from having people from work there, you really can't let loose. I don't associate with people from work, we are friends during the day but after work is my time. Sounds like you still had a great time and that's pretty much all that matters.

  12. #12
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Ryce,

    Great story . . . who did you and your fiancé go as (in swapped genders that is). I think we forget when we go out that people have their own complicated lives and for the most part don't really notice or care so I am not surprised that little has fallen out at work about you being a cross dressing event.

    Hugs

    Isha

  13. #13
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    My fiancé is really great. She has been so supportive about this side of me. As far as feeling slightly uncomfortable around people I know, I think it boils down to my personality. I've been trying to suppress the girly side of myself for so long that people that remind me of my male self brings my walls back up and reverting to what I feel is safe socially. I know its an internal thing that won't simply go away, I just need more time to get more comfortable with who I am.

    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    who did you and your fiancé go as (in swapped genders that is).
    It seems silly but we went as characters from Adventure Time. My fiancé was Finn and I was Princess Bubblegum. Lots of pink and purple. Unfortunately, we were rushing to get out so we forgot to take pictures.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member
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    Exactly! That's what went through my mind also.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    You aught to consider the possibility that they both are crossdressers and the "didn't put much effort into" dressing to maintain an aura of "plausible deniability.
    If attendees were encouraged to cross dress, why wouldn't a person want to emulate the other sex to the best of their ability. To show up unshaven and wearing a flour sack dress really is not supporting the intent of the gathering.

    Edit: Finn and Princess Bubblegum? OMG! My granddaughter use to force me to watch those cartoons day after day after day. I don't know if I hate them or like them! Then, she progressed to zombie watching. I wish you took pictures. Check Facebook. You're probably in somebody's collection of pictures from that night!
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 11-30-2014 at 01:23 PM.

  15. #15
    Just a Cross Dresser Kacey Black.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryce View Post
    My fiancé is really great. She has been so supportive about this side of me. As far as feeling slightly uncomfortable around people I know, I think it boils down to my personality. I've been trying to suppress the girly side of myself for so long that people that remind me of my male self brings my walls back up and reverting to what I feel is safe socially. I know its an internal thing that won't simply go away, I just need more time to get more comfortable with who I am.
    It's good to hear you have some support for sure and I'm happy for you.

    It just takes time.. and of course bravery You should have seen me the first time my wife helped me get done up completely... I was shaking.

  16. #16
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Awesome story. My suggestion: next time stay and have all the fun you want -- own the event, don't let them take it away from you. If anyone needs to go home early, let it be them.

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