A couple of weeks ago, I came out to the world. Not exactly the way I intended, but that is neither here nor there. What is is what is, and it cannot be undone. Nor would I have it so undone now if I could. I just wouldn't, because it is right that I finally be. . . .
My reception, such that it has been, has been both unexpectedly positive and unexpectedly negative. There has been little ground to be found within the two extremes. At least thus far there has not.
In any event, hate knows no boundaries. Within my own freaking family there is plenty of hate to go around. Earlier today I received a message from my cousin Jeff, who is a couple of years older than I am.
Growing up as a kid, I thought he was the complete shit. I totally looked up to him, and worshiped him and his every move. I could not wait to see him and hang out with him every time our families got together. Dude could do no wrong in my eyes.
Anyways, that was a LOOOOOONG time ago. That was WAAAAAY back in the day, long before I knew crap about crap.
Much has changed since those days. And even more, at least as far as he is concerned, changed when I came out just recently.
Out of nowhere, out of the blue, and after being assured by his wife that he was cool, he wrote me the following message:
"Sorry to hear of your demise they say death comes in three's I guess this is somewhat like that even if you get your Dick cut off you still will never feel the same orgasm that a woman feels and hell Greg your almost 50 no since changing horses now your youth is behind you can't change that from here we will just grow old but hey you do what you want **** your kids head up it's a ****ed up world why should you be any different hope you don't get buyers remorse when that Dick hits the back of your throat or when some poor basterd find out you were once a man and beats your ass to a pulp life ant all about dress up there are things in life that will **** you up and from what I hear you have become a casualty! YOU are very selfish Greg I myself will not be apart of this dumb shit!"
It’s good shit, is it not? Funny ha ha stuff, right?
Yep. That’s my cousin Jeff. The dude I held on a pedestal in my youth. The dude I tried to emulate and be like.
Thank the gods, though, that I ain’t like him, and that I ain’t like him in the least.
He and those like him are NOTHING to me. They are NO ONE of consequence. They hold NO power over me. They change NOTHING. And worse, they are just plain bad, hateful, ignorant people. I would not wish them on the world. The world should not be subjected to their hate. No one should be subjected to their negative, identity stealing, asshole douchebag ways.
I deserve better than that. You deserve better than that. We ALL deserve better than that. The WORLD deserves better than that.
Regardless, Jeff's hate is not on me, it is not my problem. He can go F himself for all I care now. He has failed me miserably, and he has failed my family. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is exclusively and solely on HIM.
So whatever, right?
But here’s the deal – there are a ton of Jeffs out there. There are more Jeffs in my own family than I care to admit, and they make no bones about what they think about me.
Yeah, it sucks. It blows. It hurts. And it leaves me reeling in disbelief.
It is what it is, though. It just is. So if this is also included within the already steep price of the process of transition, then so be it. That also is what it is . . . .
And more than anything, it is *their* loss, not mine . . . .