When I dress I become a different person. My male feeling for the most part are totally separated. Having gone out only a few times my sense of security and awareness come instinctively. I stay aware of my surroundings always looking for threats, which I guess is a good thing.
I am more confident when in fem mode, since I started wearing make up to work and bras with enhancers, I am more confident at work.
Yeah, for me it's like that, too.Originally Posted by mariehart
I have tons of insecurities, and I always have regardless of the mode I'm in. In girl mode, it seems like I manage to give myself permission to forget about some of them, though.
For instance, insecurity about my appearance ... when I'm in girl mode, I generally Ike the way I look. I give myself permission to believe I'm pretty (even if objective reality probably disagrees, lol). I can put on nice clothes in boy mode too and try to look good, but the difference is that at a really basic, perhaps subconscious level, I just can't buy it. It feels like a put-on, I guess, where girl mode just doesn't.
But that's about as far as it goes for me. All the same curses and blessings of being me are constant, regardless of whether my outside matches the inside that day.
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
I think as we try to embrace what we believe to be femininity, we also try to focus on what we believe women focus on. Clothes, appearance, fashion, makeup, jewelry, nesting behavior/making our homes look nice (some guys will spend hours looking online at what they consider more feminine furniture/window treatments/paint&wallcoverings, etc), babies, diets, relationships. It's one sort of escape from the male world of feeling responsible for the general safety of the rest of the population, which can potentially feel like a burden.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
