A dream situation but I'm in doubt

[Carly CD]

Here's the problem. The people I work with decided on a company Christmas party (all 12 of us lol). We are going bowling and our s/o's are invited. Due to a sudden interest in the Rocky Horror Picture Show at work, some of the guys decided we should crossdress. There will be a a best "costume" award and the rule is if you don't dress you can't drink. The goal is to get everyone involved. Even the s/o's have to dress as guys. My wife said I can go how ever I want. She knows about Carly, helps me shop for clothes, make up, etc. She is very supportive but has never seen Carly completely,only pj's, underdressing, what not. Sooo I should be excited right? I get to have a fun night out with my wife an friends, plus I get to be Carly. And since none of the guys plan on shaving, I should own the contest hehe. But I'm not, I'm not sure if I want to do this. I am so confused,I have until the 13th to decide. Anyone ever been in a similar situation?

[Karolyn]

I have not been in such a situation (I wish that would happened to me!) but based on a lot of reading in this forum, the last people you want to know about your crossdressing are your coworkers. Your SO, maybe family or some close friends could know, but at work, you will always have non-professional feedback from coworkers that could create more harm than good. That's just my personal take.

I would definitely CD for that event, otherwise you will not enjoy the event to its fullest, but I would purposely make it look like I'm a beginner. I dressed up as girl for Halloween, and did a bit too well, I got a lot of questions about people that showed they thought I was a CD (after the party, during the party nobody asked). It was really hard to convince them I was not a crossdresser (a lie obviously, I was just telling them I was perfectionist, which is true).

To avoid questions, just make it obvious: keep your shaving natural, but not freshly done, use simple clothes that don't fit too well, try to avoid heels (but if you do it, purposely show you can't properly walk in them), do an average makeup job rather than a good one, and don't act like a girl (and don't try to have a girl voice either), except if you see other people do it for fun. Since your SO is aware, make her help the situation if someone asks, and she can say that's one of her dresses/clothes (only if your sizes are close enough).

[franlee]

If I were in your situation and being able to look back, I would do it. This is a party theme so it is in the relatively safe zone with all the crew sharing the same. The only regrets I have is for things I didn't do. Life is to short.

[trisha kobichenko]

Go for it for sure. But heed Viny's advice. Don't be to good at crossdressing lest you invite unwanted scrutiny. Before I came out to my wife we were invited to a Halloween party while our things were in transit to a new job location. She went as me and I went as her, most fun Halloween I ever had.
Hugs,
Trish

[DanaR]

It sounds like a great opportunity to me. What I would do, is ask your wife to help you dress up; which would allow you to shop a little (thrift stores or?) and have her do your makeup and guide you. That way, however you look would be a creation of your wife's. That way you are not responsible for how you look and have an out if anyone says anything. I would imagine that you will look great and hopefully your wife would go along with it.

[Paula_Femme]

I say go for it, but go OTT with the makeup, the full-on Tim Curry, and if anyone comments on you being able to walk in heels, tell 'em you've been practising!!!

Hey, maybe your wife could go as Riff Raff?!?!?!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You don't mention, but if you are inclined to let go when you've had a few drinks, I'd strongly advise you to keep the evening alcohol free- your body language will give you away regardless of what you wear! Otherwise agree with Viny, go for a zany, wacky look with far too much make up- don't over-feminize, or you'll out yourself as surely as if you tottered into work in 5" heels and a miniskirt. Hope you go and that you have a great time!

[Eryn]

If you are dressing up as a Rocky Horror character you are donning a costume which isn't really crossdressing. I'm sure that you'll have a good time, but your interactions will be those of a man in costume, not a woman.

[Stephanie47]

If I had this opportunity I would go en femme. The question I have is whether the bowling, drinking and cross dressing are happening at the same time? Throwing the ball down the alley precludes some kinds of attire, such as an evening gown. If it is a cross dressing bowling outing (pun intended), then I think a short full skirt is the way to go. Put a little effort into it..go in a 1950's-1960's poodle dog skirt with a sweater top and bullet bra. Heavy trashy makeup. Stay away from really high heels. If you appear too accomplished in high heels, then the cat may be out of the bag. If the bowling is a separate event I have a different idea.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Carly,
It's a costume party, and you WILL own the contest.
HAVE FUN!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Marcelle]

Hi Carly,

As this is a group sanctioned and agreed upon theme with all involved I would be inclined to have at it. Nothing wrong with owning the moment and being as Tim Curry as you want to be as it is all in fun. I agree with Nikki though and would watch the alcohol intake less you get a little too comfortable with Carly. As well, even if you go whole hog on the make-up I would still use you boy voice and make your mannerisms either over the top (a la Tim Curry) or guy. Walking and gesturing casual "en femme" could be a little bit of a give away. Last bit of advice . . . make sure everyone is on board (that is they are all or most are dressing). I had a friend in a similar circumstance (he was not CD . . . at least not that I know) and he decided to go all out and showed up only to discover while the girls dressed "en boy" the other guys chickened out and he spent the night in a party dress and tiara.

Hugs and . . . ENJOY.

Isha

[Teresa]

Carly,
As a child I tried to avoid dress up games so I didn't give my secret away !
Now I can't see the problem, if I were you with you partner's support just go for it and have fun dressed for one night ! What if the others think you're too good! You may be in for a shock perhaps you're not the only CDer at work !!

[Vikky]

Hi Carly

I had a similar problem this time last year. At the time CDing had just hit me and I had started buying underwear, skirts, tops etc, but I hadn’t come out to my SO.

Then we got an invite to a New Year Party and the plan was for everyone to crossdress. Wow, a golden opportunity. My SO bought a super long skirt and blouse and we bought a cheap wig in a party shop. A few days before the party we heard the others had backed out of CDing, but needless to say I wanted to go en femme. I hammed it up – the wig looked awful, I had socks stuffed in a vest as boobs, no femme underwear. But it was a great laugh (I have written about it on the forum before) and the reaction of the other GGs was amazing – they were very free with advice and guidance on how I could improve my clothes, wig, think about make up etc.

A few weeks later I came out to my SO and I now have a DADT arrangement with her. The skirt and blouse had already gone back to the charity shop. Shame.

So If I were you I would ham it up, look more as if you are in drag. Have a good time.

Vikky.

[Beverley Sims]

Carly,
By doing it well you show professionalism, and it does confuse the hell out of others.
You will get nothing but accolades for a job well done.
Just go out there and do it right.

[Jackie7]

I would do Janet head to toe including the hat, and including the little white half-slip and bra, for the scene where she peels down to that. But the others are right, do it too well and you inadvertently reveal the fact that you own breast forms and corsets and heels that fit and other female accoutrements.

[Krisi]

I think crossdressing and your career should be kept as far apart as possible. As tempting as it may be to go all out for this, if you do as good a job as you probably can, people will figure out that this isn't the first time you've dressed as a woman. How many "normal" men have a pair of $300 breast forms? A $100 wig? Perfectly fitting heels?

The only way you can do this without arousing suspicion is by stuffing socks into a bra and buying a $15 party wig. Not much fun though.

[Amy Lynn3]

Just play it safe girlfriend. Why rock the boat now ? Have fun with it, but allow someone else to own it. Maybe you will discover a crossdressing friend at work.

Another possibility is your wife seeing you NOT so over the top with your looks and her thinking this is not so bad for him to dress like that. Your DADT agreement may just change or at least open up the conversation about it, if you agree to not carry your dressing to an all out makeover in front of her.

[Rhian]

I think a crossdresser can wear a skirt without really 'crossdressing' I once went out in a dress, wig and pantyhose but I didn't consider myself to be going out crossdressed as I was just being one of the lads and wearing a dress because it was funny. I didn't get the same kick as when I dress properly as I didn't put a lot of effort into the appearance and I didn't act or feel the need to act like a woman because I wasn't Rhian, I was me in a dress. If you try and do something simple and something that makes it clear to yourself that you are just in drag for the party you should be fine.

[Jenny Gurl]

If you don't want to be out at work, you don't want to look too good. Your legs that are already shaved can be concealed with a couple pair of tights to hide the leg hair and explained that way. Also if you ever go out as you alternate identity, you really don't want anyone to recognize you as your male self who dressed at the party. How accepting is your particular community? Lots of variables, tread lightly and give it lots of thought. Once they see smoke, they start looking for a fire. I knew a guy in the military that simply had a magazine at work once. Someone made the comment that " isn't that a magazine gay people read?" Before you knew it, he was outed as being gay. In that time it was not a good thing.

[Tina_gm]

I am willing to bet that whoever came up with this idea will give you a run for your money for best dressed. Its all fun for a lot of people, but there was someone who originated the idea, and who knows, you may have a few guys who are into it. It may be a mass outing lol. What I am saying is that crossdressing for the Rocky horror picture show is not something non CDers really think about, to the extent that they want to all CD for a christmas party. I would say go enjoy, put SOME effort in, maybe not over the top. But I am willing to bet there will be at least a few who will also put some effort in, along with a few who will be so obviously not CD, or at least you will think they aren't, which is kinda what you are getting at, how much effort to put into this, right??

Oh and one more thing... Everyone is going to go as the obvious, frank-n-furter... maybe you can change it up and go as Magenta.....

[Lorileah]

I went to a party once dressed as an astronaut, no one thought that was my hobby on my days off. Then I dressed as a racecar driver and no one asked how long I had been racing.

C'mon it is a party, and others will be dressing and why would they EVEN suspect you of crossdressing. I am pretty good at performing but no one mistakes me for Sinatra

[docrobbysherry]

Dress in a Frank N Furter outfit like the one I wore last weekend. (Want to borrow it?) No one will ever think you're a CD in an outfit like this! If u dress as a female character however, and u do it too well? The kitty may well get out of the bag!

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[AngelaYVR]

I would add that you might want to remain aware of the affect it has on your wife, seeing you fully dressed. The one and only time that my wife saw me completely dolled up had an affect on her that took some time to get over. Like your wife, she is involved with it in many ways but leaves the final product to me.

Angela xox

[Tina_gm]

I would add that you might want to remain aware of the affect it has on your wife, seeing you fully dressed. The one and only time that my wife saw me completely dolled up had an affect on her that took some time to get over. Like your wife, she is involved with it in many ways but leaves the final product to me.

Angela xox

Good point angela. Make sure the Mrs. is on board with this. My wife can be a bit unpredictable in some ways when it comes to her acceptance. My feminine mannerisms don't seem to bother her much. my shaving doesn't bother her much, although sometimes she does make an occasional comment about how I am mostly hair free. She was the one who suggested I shave my shoulders. She is not a fan of body hair, but WHY I have it off is an issue at times. She would rather me be shaved than a hairy beast, but that I want to shave can be an issue....

[Lexi Moralas]

My concern if it were me , would be after a few drinks I would get too comfortable in my femininity.
And as the other guys will be dressed at least one will notice while he is almost breaking a ankle in his heels ; why do you walk better than his wife in yours.
I think it is a huge risk of outing yourself.
But I am some what a pessimist as of late