Outed to the whole neighborhood, catchy response suggestions please

[BillieAnneJean]

Well it is out now. Everyone's gonna know or does already. The neighborhood couple with the binoculars and observation room know and so do other neighbors. There is a weird guy in the neighborhood who dresses up in women's clothes. And sure to burn their undies, I can say, even without conceit, that I look better than seven of the ten women in our neighborhood. I weigh less than six of them too. THAT will be what really ticks them off.

Unfortunately my SO will take this hard. Any suggestions for her or I when a neighbor who thinks they have something on us says something negatively judgmental?

I wonder how many of them have kiddie porn, cheat on their spouses, are unkind? But a guy who gets dolled up in women's clothing is news?

It has no effect on my self esteem. I had a hard childhood. I can take anything.

My best friend, the most important person in the whole world, my personal pearl of great price, my SO, won't be so resilient. Honey I am SO sorry!!!!!! I NEVER EVER wanted to be anything but the best husband for you! I have tried my best.

So any quips for the smart a$$ comments we are certain to get would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Billie Anne Outed Jean

[Rachael Ray]

"I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get."

[AngelaYVR]

Your reaction is a little strange. Most likely you will not hear anything but it seems as though you want to. My mother would always say "don't meet trouble half way" and, I will add, never compare yourself to a GG.

Angela

[Jenniferathome]

"So you're a cross dresser, eh?"

"Yup."

Kinda ends it all right there.

[bridget thronton]

Sorry this is so disturbing - with luck neighbors ignore it

[Rachelakld]

"so....?"
"and....?"
"I know, he's so great"

[susanmiller64]

It really won’t be that big of a deal. A couple years ago 2 of my neighbors found out, saw me on a TV interview. The nest day they saw me at the mail box and said we saw you on TV last night. I knew what they were talking about and just said yes, I am a crossdresser. We talked a little bit about it and they have never brought it up again and treat me no different. They have even seen me leave a few times as Susan and just wave to me like always.
Not sure if they have told any of the other neighbors as none of them have ever said anything about it to me. There may be talk around the neighborhood but nothing has changed. I think how we come across about it determines how people react. If we are okay with it and not ashamed then I think they will be okay with it.
Hope it works out for you.

[Kate T]

You have the wrong attitude to it. If you want to go ahead and alienate your neighbours then off you go and give them some smart ass comment back. However if you want to be accepted and make a difference I would suggest you treat any comments as an opportunity to educate. Most of your neighbours will be curious rather than vindictive.

[Rogina B]

As with most any T related issues...Say nothing! Show them that you row your own boat in this life and it will have more positive impact. I doubt anyone will ever say anything to you or your wife..It isn't a big deal unless you make it into one...

[Laura912]

Your guard is rightly up, but would it not be better to assume that there will be more acceptance or less angst if you seem more approachable about the entire issue? A smile and "Yes, that was me." will go a long way and not put the neighbors on an immediate defense.

[Marcelle]

Hi BillieAnne,

I am sorry to hear you have been outed by the "observation post" across the street . . . makes me wonder what else those people are looking at . . . sounds kind of voyeuristic to me and isn't that against the law . . . just saying.

I know a lot of people are saying just say "yeah I am a cross dresser . . . so what" and I know by your posts you are confident enough to do so but, I believe you are more concerned about your SO when and if she may be confronted. From my own experience, after outing myself to basically everyone I have had few people come up say anything. Those who have were mainly curious and asked questions which were reasonable and I take that as an opportunity to educate. However, I was cognizant that my wife might have to deal with this on a whole different level in that people will be wondering how she could possibly stay married to a man who dresses like a woman. Her response (and she has never had to use this) would be:

"I married a man 25 years ago, he has changed over the years, I have changed over the years but in the end I am the same woman and he is the same man. We both love, support and care for each other based on mutual respect. If you can claim that in your own marriage I am happy for you. If you can't then perhaps you should look to your own marriage and fix that before passing judgment on others"

But like I said she has never had to use this.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

Best thing to do in this case is to get ahead of the rumor mill. You may be able to lessen the shock value for your friend and SO.

I should add that I have had experienced no adverse consequences since I first came out in some cases directly meeting several neighbors and encountering others while walking the dogs through the neighborhood. It's been four years now.

[Krisi]

I don't think a smart ass answer is the best plan. You are a crossdresser, you weren't careful enough to hide it so now it's time to man up and own it. If anyone comments or asks, admit it and talk about it if they ask. If they don't just change the subject.

An no, you don't look better than seven of ten women in the neighborhood. You just think you do.

[Mollyanne]

Hi BillieAnne, this may sound trite but this may be a blessing in disguise. I am assuming that your SO knows about "BillieAnn". If she doesn't I would explain it to her NOW and also advise her (not tell) that the neighbor(s) saw you and might confront her. If that happens she should respond with-----Yes, so what!!!!! and walk away without saying another word, if on the street a response could be-------Yes, so what!!!!! and walk away. After a while , the smoke will clear and all the "talk" will abate.

BTW, what I see from your avatar picture is a very attractive woman.

Molly

[Stephanie Julianna]

All the advice here is solid. If your neighbors confront you with their mew insight, admit it. However, your SO is another story. If you have not told her yet that you have been outed, tell her before she hears it from someone else. She needs to be prepared. If you are approached about it I would not be any more defensive about it than I would be for being Polish or bald. It's just the way I'm wired and then let the conversation flow.

[stephNE]

How about something like: " Why yes, are you asking because you want to go out with me? "
or maybe: "The next time I dress would you like to go with me to the .....?"
Good luck, S>

[Kate Simmons]

Unless they sign your paycheck, I wouldn't worry about it Hon.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Gosh, I dunno, I just feel really bad for the SO in this. I'm sure the idea that half the neighbourhood is now talking behind her back is not going to go down well, and rightly so. I know everyone here says it's a great educational platform and time to share with the neighbors about crossdressers, but I think that's silly and very unrealistic. The real world doesn't really care to be educated about most things, let alone men in dresses. Not yet anyway. You can try, but if you're not keen to start the TG movement on your own, I'd consider damage control instead.

Personally, I'd suggest pulling aside the few who know and telling them it's just this little thing you get a kick out of, no big deal and you'd appreciate them keeping it to themselves as it's a very private matter. If they're even halfway decent human beings, they will do just that. They'll probably be glad to!

Otherwise, you can throw back comments or ignore it altogether but I would expect the entire neighborhood to find out and some to not be very polite about it. People are idiots, and there's no harm or shame in protecting yourself and family. No one here is obligated to sell the joys of CDing to the general public. Just my thoughts on this, coming from the other side.

[BillieAnneJean]

My SO knew that I was going to crossdress before I did it the first time ever. She knew I was going OUT enfemme before I did it the first time. I have no secrets from my SO. I just know she will not be able to laugh it off. Even if just laughing it off, saying "not a big deal to me", or "yep and he looks good too", or "he is having some silly fun". Would do the trick, she just will not be able to do that. When confronted with an unplanned situation she is not able to take control. But to me she is the perfect person of my dreams.

I have no intention of facilitating any confrontation with the neighbors.

I was seeking funny answers.

And I definitely do look better than seven of the ten neighbors. Not that it means anything to me. But it might to them if a guy looks better in women's clothes than they do in their sweats. It is comparing a prepped apple to an unprepared orange.

So any FUNNY responses out there?

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Um...tell them you lost a bet?

[NicoleScott]

Any questions about why a guy would wear a dress, heels, and makeup, my quip would be: "well, SOMEBODY has to".

- or -

"That was a dress rehearsal for a Halloween party. The theme is electronics. I'm going as a trans-sister."

[Katey888]

And sure to burn their undies, I can say, even without conceit, that I look better than seven of the ten women in our neighborhood. I weigh less than six of them too. THAT will be what really ticks them off.

Billie Anne - please take care... what you say above I am sure is true and will doubtless rankle hugely... If there's one thing worse than a woman scorned it's a woman bettered in the dressing stakes...

So.. some quips from the Mistress of Wit and Ready Repartée...

"So you wear women's clothing out..."

- " Not all the time - sometimes I run around in a bin bag and other times in a latex gimp suit - depends on the season and how my meds are doing..."

OR

- " Yes I do - my shrink says this is the best way to suppress the arsonist in me that burnt down a whole city block when I was fourteen - what number are you again...?"

OR

- " I do - I feel so calm now.. my probation officer has said I can use an axe again only for chopping wood and I won't need the straitjacket at weekends... but don't worry, if you see me at night with a double-headed axe just stay inside with the lights out and don't come out however much screaming you hear... "

OR

- " Yep - it was either that or run for local council, but I think being a politician is more stigmatised and less good for the community, don't you...? "

OR (Could be a bit edgy this one...)

- " Goodness me no.... how could a guy like me possibly look that good and better than your wife, your sister and your teenage daughter..." (OK - I don't think this one is really polite...)

I could do more...? But seriously, I think the advice here is good - don't be tempted or drawn into ANY kind of smart quip... there are some who will just be looking for an excuse to do something really nasty... I like to think these things in my head in situations like this, and just smile serenely back at the perps and feel sorry for them... I do hope your SO is OK too - while you can deal with it it does often rebound on others close to us more....

Fingers crossed for you....

Katey x

[Ressie]

Funny Answers? "Are you the one that's been dressing like a girl?",

No, that's my twin brother that just came to visit.

No, that's my twin sister that just came to visit.

Yes, I won a bet!

Hope the wife finds a way to not be too upset.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I'll think of some funny comebacks later to take the tension off the situation and you can both laugh. It's really wierd that you have neighbors who spy on the others. That's how they get their kicks? You got caught by them. Now you have to own it.

For one thing I hope you have been generally accepted as that "nice guy John" among neighbors, That'll soften any reactions by your neighbors. Are you also sure they all know?

If I were confronted, I have a feeling not much will be said. A neighbor might look at you funny but remember that some people are afraid to say something and get into an embarassing conversation for themselves.

The one thing I would avoid is pi$$ing off a neighbor who could become vindictive. So if you do use a smart comeback choose something that doesn't make them defensive. You might want to even throw some suspicions by saying something like, "It makes me wonder who else the Jones are spying on and spreading crap." That'll get other neighbors suspicious about THEM! LOL!

Just a little story: I knew a fireman who put out a fire in an apartment occupied by 3 women. He mentioned how they saw a wide array of sex toys. I knew one of the women and felt he was quite unprofessional saying that.

Cheryl

[Jannis]

Best advice I ever received...."Don't get into a pissing contest with a skunk."