How Many Are Married and Wife Knows?

[Jenny]

I have noticed a lot of postings are done by people who are apparently married and whose wife either doesn't know or doesn't approve. Like the other thread asking how many of our members are gay or straight, I was wondering how many of our members are married and whose wife either:
a) knows and approves;
b) knows but doesn't approve; or
c) doesn't know

about their crossdressing.

[raven]

I'am married and my wife knows I dress

[Dana_cd]

Hi girls,
My wife knows about my dressing, she helps me alot, with makeup tips, hair, and buys some of my things for me, she's happy I found ( as she says) an escape, and she says she sees how much of a difference dressing has made in OUR life.

[Jenny]

Silly me!!! I forgot to answer my own poll. I am not married so it really doesn't apply to me. Only a select few friends -- no one in my immediate family -- know anything at all about Jenny.

[lara_myklund]

I told my wife after 4 years, and she accepts, but is uncomfortable.
She doesn't know the full extent, just thinks I like silk underwear.
I can understand her problem, so haven't taken it any further with her.

[jodyR]

Hi Jenny, I'm not married. But is seems that any women I tell , Love it! I have female friends that bring me clothes, Do my makeup , paint me fingernails. I have even dressed up and gone out on the town with them. What a turn on that was. Before I grew vmy mustache back I went in public all the time. LOVED IT. Write me luv jodyR

[Julie]

My wife knows and has known since before we were married over 22 years ago. She tolerates but doesn't really accept. Who knows, maybe another 22 years from now she'll open up!

[Ava Mouse]

I told my wife a few years ago. She was shocked at first, probably because I had such a hard time forming the words... "I'm.... I'm.... Batman." er...

She's OK with it, but we both agree on no permanant changes, hormones, plastic surgery, etc. So, I fully respect that, and the family/relationship comes first. (Which significantly limits my dressing sessions, but appreciate the times I do get more.)

About 2x a year we both dressup to the 9's, have some wine and just chat.

I joined Tri-Ess last week and she's OK with that. I'm hoping to 'drag' her to a meeting so she's comfortable with what goes on there. I know she'd appreciate having new wife friends to discuss this with.

[shyfellow]

I'm afraid my wife doesn't know and wouldn't understand.

[Bernadina]

I told my wife when we first started dating. Now we go clothes and cosmetics shopping together. She advises me on how to dress, and we go out to Girls NIghts Out together.

- Dina

[kylie]

My wife has known for about three years that i like wering womens underwear and although it didn't turn her on initially but she likes to see me in my own 'knickers' when we have sex. She has bought me several pairs during this time and onr great turn-on for me was when i bought 'his and hers' leopard skin thongs. Hopefully she will want me to wear more items in the future and i keep dropping hints but if doesn't turn her on then i won't push it.

[Stelli]

She knew before we started being together, she often helps me getting stuff, she participates to the certain extent in different activities but when it comes to sex she states that she is old fashioned - we have good sex when I am not CD. I respect her limits and generally try not to bother anyone with my desires. Wish to find a guy (friend) that would accept me as CD. (anyone nearby?)

Your classification needs a bit finer granulation.

[wifesundies]

I too am married, but my wife doesn't know. I have tried to drop hints, but she didn't really go for it.

[Vivian Best]

Hi,

I told my wife after we had been married 44 years. She hasn't said much about it. She certainly doesn't participate. Maybe in the future.

Vivian

[Fanny57]

Hi girls, I was married for years and always hid my dressing, when I finnally came out to my wife she couldn't accept it. We have a hard time ourselves so how can we expect our SO's to. My wife never really could and I always had to do it when she was not around. I'm now in a new relationship and although this women is sexually liberal and we bring may toys into the bedroom (strap-ons etc.) I don't think she would understand. I too have a bi-fantasy hidden in me and have tried expressing that openly while excited with her....only time will tell. In the mean time I love dressing and the hidden thrill of maybe getting caught. Would love to her from other girls......Luv....Fanny....

[MichelleH]

My wife knew nothing about my dressing before we were married. After we had been married for about a year, we were going to go to a Halloween costume party and I suggested maybe I would go as a girl. On the pretext of trying it out, one day I put on some of here clothes, wig and some makeup and asked her what she thought. She became pretty uncomfortable, so I let the idea drop. Nothing much happened for a few years--I continued dressing in private. One day--I can't exactly remember who started it--she was using her curling iron and started curling my hair with it (mine was not very long, in style at the time, 4 or 5"). I was loving this and asked to see in a mirror what she was doing. When she finished, she showed me and out of the blue asked me if I liked dressing like a girl. At first, I said no but then admitted it to her. I think she probably noticed her cosmetics were disappearing a little too fast. She became very upset but eventually calmed down. After that I think she did a little research on her own and realized that this probably wasn't going to go away. However, she really didn't want to deal with it. We sort of agreed to a "don't ask-don't tell" strategy. That was many years ago. Since then I have gone through periods of more or less dressing, but I no longer borrow her things--I have my own makeup and wig and some clothes. I'm pretty careful, but always worry that one of these days I will get caught again. I really don't know how she would react.

MichelleH

[Stephanie]

Well, my wife knew that I was interested in crossdressing back before we started seriously dating although I didn't bring it up again and ended up purging and becoming resolved to quit it a couple of years before we got married but I found that that didn't really work out too well either so after some reflection and advice, I reintroduced it about a month ago. Although she initially seemed o.k. about it, my wife hit the roof when she found out that I bought a wig last week and I wrote her a long letter detailing for her exactly what I'm interested in doing in terms of crossdressing and she has been finding it extremely hard to accept. I agreed to be discreet about it and accepted some pretty harsh limitations in terms of totally dressing up (basically only around the house and not in front of anybody including her), however I emphatically told her that I would NOT accept any limitations on "underdressing" (i.e. panties), which didn't go over very well but I really felt as though she was more or less just trying to tell me that I wouldn't be able to dress AT ALL. Other reactions to my crossdressing have been pretty extreme to the point of her suggesting (although she probably didn't mean it) that she take her and the kids out or stay with friends for a day or two so that I might have an opportunity to crossdress to my heart's delight. I told her that I didn't want to crossdress THAT badly and that I'd pretty much just wait until an opportunity presented itself to do it privately but I insisted that I have the right to at least "underdress" or be able to purchase and wear some womens clothing that is not as obvious (i.e. pants, jeans). In time, I think that she might come around but she seems to be VERY homophobic (in the sense that she literally fears lesbians and/or being perceived as one apparently because another girl "molested" her back in the 3rd grade) and seems to have a LOT of common misperceptions about crossdressing in general but she stated that she might feel differently about it later, confessed a slight interest in painting my toenails, and she has been surfing this site a bit trying to learn a little more and I've been trying to answer her questions and assure her as much as possible (or at least much as I can) although I'm having a hard time sometimes not being defensive about it.

[PaulaJeanette]

I am married and sort of got caught--she found my waist nipper corset on the floor of our bedroom--so I confessed to her that I was a transvestite and liked to dress in women's clothes when alone. I think she was very relieved that I wasn't having an affair with another women...actually when you think about ALL crossdressers are having an affair with another women...our fem persona inside. Well, we sat down and talked about it for a short while in which she asked the usual twenty questions. I tried to be honest but I was embarassed but more mad at myself for being careless and getting caught. In retrospect, it was a good thing because it gave me the chance to get my secret out in the open between us.

Since then, like MichelleH, we've adopted a pseudo "don't ask, don't tell". However, on occasion, it comes up and happily in positive ways. She has bought me a few pairs of panties from Victoria's Secrets..."so I won't stretch and ruin hers". I'm allowed to wear her panties when we make love and twice now "she sneaks a pair into my luggage" when I travel (don't really need them since I usually take a full set of lingerie). Don't get me wrong, I appreciate her thoughtfulness and I think is her way of telling me she knows that I'm crossdressing while on the road. I'm also beginning to think she realizes that I do crossdress whenever I'm home alone.

She still has not seen me dressed in anything beyond a pair of panties outside our bedroom time. With her blessing, I want to start wearing panties more often to sleep and around the house. I also would like to let her see me wearing a bra but that may be a bit too much for her still. Some time back, she did mention that she doesn't know if she can handle me wearing anything on top.

I'm excited and rambling so I'll stop. Thank you for listening.

Paula J

[AnnaMaria]

I am married and my wife knows to an extent. But she doesn't really know all that much.
She knows that i wear panties and not mens underwear. She knows that I sleep in nightgowns or tanks and panties or silky nighties. That is just about as far as it goes. She gave me the impression a few weeks ago, when I told her about the book "My Husband Betty", that she would not be very understanding if I decided to go any farther with this than she already knows about. I don't know if it is due to her fear that someone will find out or if maybe she thinks that she might lose me to a man or something.
I know that she wouldn't lose me at all in fact I now realize that if she did accept me for who I am we would have an even closer relationship than we do now. Though I am not sure how she would react to the idea of what would appear to be a lesbian relationship.
who knows, maybe in the future we can come to some sort of understanding about Anna and she can be more a part of our lives instead of just mine.

Anna

[Karenscott]

Hi all,, When I was married, my wife knew and even enjoyed my dressing. She was all the time buying me outfits and lingerie to wear, She even went to a few support group meetings with me. We split for other reasons though. I eventually told 2 g/f's since my divorce,, one was not very understanding,, and the other never realy got into it either, ( and she was bi). My current g/f knows, and enjoys, but is unsure where this road is leading. I talk often of hormones and starting transition, and this scares her, as she enjoys my dual ginderness, and has no feelings for other women as I would surely become some day. My overall experience is that more women are understanding and supportive than we think. Now ,,,, if only I could tell my MOM !

[ChristineRenee]

I told my wife before we got engaged, while we were still dating. She is not crazy about it but seems to tolerate it. We have been married for 10 years now and her acceptance level...while not where I would hope to have it...is much higher than when we were first together.

I know that deep down she wishes this were something that I would just outgrow or stop doing altogether, but she understands that the reality is that it is not going to ever happen.

We are continuing to work through this issue on a day-to-day basis. We both are committed to making this marriage work, and through continued education and knowledge, along with a lot of understanding and love, I believe we will make this all work to our mutual benefit over time.


Christine

[kristi cd]

Still single here.

[Teddie]

I told my wife shortly after we were married. And, she didn't have a problem with it from the start. We have become "sisters". We love to go shopping together, she enjoys doing my makeup, and has helped me to successfully go beyond the walls of the house.

[AmberDay]

I told my wife about my crossdressing about five months into our dating relationship (7 years ago). She was indifferent about it at first, until she saw me wearing certain items (silk panties, pantyhose). It made her really uncomfortable. So I stopped for a while. Out of the blue she wanted to see me wear some pantyhose. It was great! I got fully dressed with a wig, she did my makeup, and took some pictures of me. Not too long after she told me to stop again. Before we got married, my wife and I negotiated terms for my crossdressing. 1. No men or other women. 2. Not around her or the kids. 3. Discuss items being purchased so not to effect the family budget. 4. Don't go out in public. 5. Don't talk about it every other day. 6. I can shave my legs from September to March. I thought everything sounded okay at first and I agreed to it. I do regret number 4 because my wife says that I can not go to support group meetings. She says she is all the support I need, I do not need to find other CD's and associate with them.
I am dying for help! It is killing me just looking at websites on the internet. I need to actually see others CD's and associate with them. Wife says, "No, I am all the support you need." I see support as an active role in the crossdressing (doing it around her at home). I fully support her feelings about not seeing me dressed, and I will not force that on her.
I feel she does accept me. She rarely ever brings it up in a fight and doesn't degrade me for it. She accepts my personal hobby and gives me time at home alone to dress.

[kristi cd]

Too young to be married at my age, but when/if I do. I will be sure the supposed wife knows about my little habit in advanced.

Same for me. I couldn't imagine not having her at least know, and accepting would be the ultimate I suppose.