- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
Whatever we do or feel we are being who we are. There is no right or wrong.
Nikki is a part of me as well as my other side, unfortunately I can't always show this part of me. But when I do I prefer to present as a well dressed, classy lady. Thus the need for the wig, make-up and shaping help. No padding, just some waist help. I feel comfortable that way, not so much if I dress as to send mixed signals. (IE obvious women's clothing and shaping but no make-up and wig).
But there are other that are comfortable like this and if so good for them.
I have given up trying to figure this out. I like who I am regardless of how I dress. I have a good life, most of the time, and two great sons whom I adore.
I am stuck being very masculine with little or no chance to really do anything about it because the things I would lose are too valuable to me. This leaves me being the guy in a dress.
When I dress I look pretty silly even in my wig and full makeup but, you know, I really don't care because I feel wonderful. I feel pretty and feminine and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
If I had known 40 some odd years ago what I know now, I would have probably pursued transition except that in the world I grew up in(ultra bigoted rural west Texas) , that would have been tantamount to suicide...
There are many feminine experiences that I dream about that I will never experience and I will also probably never win the lottery, so here I am dressing because I love the way I feel, under-dressing every day in some form or fashion doing what I can to be a little more feminine; today it's women's jeans) and doing my best to avoid mirrors.
There is no rhyme or reason to this phenomenon, it just is. My best advice is quit worrying about the why and do your best to enjoy the unique perspective on life you have been given.
I am Me and Me is OK!
Shelby
I feel like I'm transformed when I dress; that being said I would not, if pressed and able to do so, transition to being a woman with surgery and all. I like all sides of me. I just feel like it allows me to express my feminine side and wear the brighter clothes and dresses and things I feel beautiful in. As another poster pointed out I also like that makeup can hide imperfections so I feel better about myself when dressed in that way too. Good for self esteem and it does make me genuinely happy when I dress.
Michaela
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush
To me I've been crossdressing all my life, been wearing guy clothes off and on along with my regular clothes, my female clothes. I've tried to explain how and why I feel as I do but like you the confusion that I have makes others confused as I, so I just try to roll down the Highway of life trying to avoid as many roadblocks as possible maybe some day I'll find that exit that says Jennifer this is who you are, some day, some day! xoxoxo Jenni
xoxoxoJennifer Easton
Mighty bold talk for a one-eyed fat girl!
I've always said we have good taste. Whoever designed men was wacky, but whoever designed women had their act together. Same with whoever designed the best of women's wear. We appreciate beauty and we want to display it. Si?
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
It took me a long time, but I've come to terms with myself. I know exactly who and what I am: man and woman, bound together, part and parcel of each other. And when I become Amy, I am a woman, in every way that matters. Whatever reasons I was dressing for before, I'm now dressing to bring that woman out and let her live, if only for a little while. And, by being both halves of me, I'm working to make myself a better person.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
Hi Erica,
Yes it's about the clothes, yes it's about the expression of the whole person- the self-expression of that part of me which went unexpressed for so long. I am not remotely confused- but my poor wife is.
Perhaps you can just look at it as a series of steps towards the less wrong. If any step from this point on doesn't feel quite right, then step back, process - perhaps for months - then move forward again. Don't try to force the issue.
xxNikki
Wherever we go, whatever we do, we present a persona, and that persona can often change several times in the course of a day. Whether we make that presentation consciously or subconsciously is really neither here nor there. Most of the time we present a persona to fit in, to be accepted. The archetypal "bank clerk" is carefully groomed, meets corporate norms, treats his or her customer superbly. Then it's home time. Off with the suit, on with the leathers, and off on the Harley, or whetever floats his or her boat. Sometimes, these various personae are necesary to get ahead, or to make something work for us. That's natural too - we do seek rewards, or try to avoid negative outcomes. I am trying (with a quiet smile ) to imagine one of the finest people on here saying to his one of subordinates "Look, Hon, it doesn't really matter if we throw ourselves out of this aircraft. Let's just take a break, and do our nails. We can get the bad guys later!" I just don't see Isha doing that at all - and by that, Isha, I don't mean that that is all an act. It is a persona (forgive me if I am wrong) that you must adopt if you are to function. It is just part of who you are.
This, I'm afraid, where crossdressing is difficult. It is clear that we DO have a need to express a certain persona, but sociologically, it is by and large unacceptable when we do. I wish I had the answers - and indeed I suspect to an extent I do - that we have this innate need to express how we would like to be seen in society - just like the bank clerk biker - but we are inhibited for a plethora of reasons. Ther is a recipe for stress and depression, which accounts (IMHO) for the frequency of depression and suicidal behavior in the transgender population
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!