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Thread: Sharing apt with a girl. Is it a good idea?

  1. #1
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    Sharing apt with a girl. Is it a good idea?

    Hi, I am relocating for job in midwest and looking for apt. I replied to a few post on CL with my fem pic and that I am a crossdresser. Out of 20 submission, 3 girls replied back (Mostly working women) that they are fine and that I can come see the apt.
    Is it a good idea to share apt with a gg or woman and be myself?

    I am expecting to take her help and be comfortable around her en femme. Get tips from her. But will she take me as a friend or someone who amuses her? HOw can I tell teh difference.
    What could be possible problems in this?

  2. #2
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    why not? However did any volunteer to help you dress or make up? You know the definition of roommate right? Or house sharing?

    room·mate
    ˈro͞omˌmāt,ˈro͝omˌmāt/ North American
    a person occupying the same apartment or house as another. A roommate might be either a joint tenant or a subtenant, depending upon the terms of the lease or rental agreement.

    Shared housing is defined as an arrangement in which two or more unrelated people share a house or an apartment. Usually private sleeping quarters are available; the rest of the house is shared. I don't see anything about any OTHER requirements.

    You are reading a lot more into the response than is intended. If this had been a man replying, would you still be making the same assumptions?
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  3. #3
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    I think its a good idea..in my experience gals have been REALLY accepting ( when it's up front) ....most i told want to put me in their pocket and take me home with them like "awwww....thats cute.... To me gals are really cool and accepting when you lay it out there....my ex's though...different story...it really pays to be up front IMO. Good Luck

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    Thanks guys Nah, its mostly for sharing apt. I will have separate room and bathroom. But living area, kitchen will be common. All three replies from girls. I didnt reply to posts by guys.
    Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size One of them seem very excited and wrote a response back with 3 para I m going to see her place this weekend.

  5. #5
    Member Dannigirl's Avatar
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    Devil's advocate ........I would be careful, CL isn't always the safest place to do business with. If you have another friend that can go with you I would take them along. better to be safe than sorry.

  6. #6
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size
    I am going to change my answer because you just let something slip...you aren't looking for a roommate you are looking for a playmate or someone you can steal clothes from. I don't think YOU can be a roommate with a woman...you see everything as going to sex or dressing.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  7. #7
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size
    OK - ask them about this and tell them you crossdress BEFORE they show you the apartment. If they have the same dress and shoe size, you are a lucky girl and should show your enthusiasm immediately. If they are still willing to show you the apartment and don't call 911 right away, you are on to a winner...

    YMMV...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    I am going to change my answer because you just let something slip...you aren't looking for a roommate you are looking for a playmate or someone you can steal clothes from. I don't think YOU can be a roommate with a woman...you see everything as going to sex or dressing.
    Nothing like that. I am just looking for a good room mate. but i have had a few gg replied to my online profiles where they appreciate the clothes adn shoes adn asked me if they can borrow them. I felt warmth in their replies. Not looking for sex or anything. Just good frined who is open minded and would be awesome if she can help me with my femininity.

  9. #9
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    As several replies have mentioned, tread carefully. You are right in approaching this as a "share" arrangement. I would focus on that. If you share well and get along then being dressed in the apartment might be OK. But again this is a sharing living arrangement and that is what you should focus on.

  10. #10
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    If they know the deal and are ok with it, then I see no reason not to share an apartment with a GG. Just don't assume they are going to be BFFs or give you makeup tips.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  11. #11
    Senior Member Lori Kurtz's Avatar
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    One thing seemed significant to me. You said you only considered females as potential roommates. You might want to examine a little more deeply (just for yourself--you don't need to explain anything to us) why you made that choice. Why not also males, as long as they are not uncomfortable with your being a crossdresser? If your roommates are truly not more than just roommates--people who have a business arrangement that involves some consideration and accommodation to each other's unique personal characteristics and interests and behaviors--then I would think that it should make no difference to you whether any of your roommates are male or female. If there's some hidden agenda that you aren't sharing with your potential roommates, and maybe that you're not even fully aware of yet yourself, that could lead to problems later on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Just don't assume they are going to be BFFs or give you makeup tips.
    Having shared with many, many other girls in my past life, I can say that over familiarity can fast breed fighting and contempt. We girls can be funny when confined together in the same living space. It can work out wonderfully...or you can end up wishing you'd found your own place.

    I'd leave out the BFF stuff and clothing swap and just share communal rooms and conversation.

  13. #13
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG View Post
    I'd leave out the BFF stuff and clothing swap and just share communal rooms and conversation.
    Bottom Line ......

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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    Thanks guys Nah, its mostly for sharing apt. I will have separate room and bathroom. But living area, kitchen will be common. All three replies from girls. I didnt reply to posts by guys.
    Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size One of them seem very excited and wrote a response back with 3 para I m going to see her place this weekend.
    Ok, I think I got it. I see nothing wrong with sharing an apartment with a woman who is open to the idea. I do think that a bit of caution is merited, primarily because I have a fear that Craig's List has somewhat of a reputation for attracting predators. Please carefully vet the person and the location. For $10 you can run an online background check on the individual and you can check out the units and the neighborhood for local crime rates. Better safe than sorry.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Speaking from experience it was better for me to get three girls to come in with me and rent a house.
    I never looked back.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    Member JessMe's Avatar
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    The FIRST qualities I would personally look for in a good roomie would be financial stability and common sense when it comes to yours, mine, and what we share as far as responsibilities and expectations. You're being open and honest about your CD'ing, which is great! ...but I would caution against making it your only deciding factor. Roommates can be successful roommates without really being friends (I have personally had roommates I hardly ever saw, much less been bff's with.)
    ...all of that being said, if she's cool with you dressing, AND has the other qualities that you need in a roommate, then go for it! ...in my personal experience, women tend to be more open-minded about things like gender and sexuality, etc. Just my $.02

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    A few weeks ago, I replied to a live-in caregiving job ad on CL and was interviewed for it by 2 women. They checked my character references and then accepted me for the job. I didn't know at the time, but one of them lives in the next room. I told them after they accepted me that I crossdress and they were fine with it, but one said she probably wouldn't have accepted me if she'd known in advance. But she didn't ask about my lifestyle and I didn't think to mention it during the interview. It turned out the one who lives here is bi and kind of TG herself. So she is of course accepting. And she's a hairdresser. We went shopping together last week.

    So, if you're lucky, you'll get a great housemate. It won't hurt to pray for wisdom in all situations either. After 4 months of looking for an affordable room in this area I finally lucked out, at least for a spell. I found that there's even an LGBT friendly church about 2 blocks from here, with 2 gay pastors and a TG pastor.
    Last edited by LelaK; 12-09-2014 at 09:59 PM.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  18. #18
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    Be careful, but it can work. In my case it was land ladies. The first asked me to move when she found out. The second became a surrogate mother. She owned a beauty shop and coached me on dressing while doing my wigs. Her boyfriend became my surrogate dad who insisted my dates to come to the door. Both treated me as their daughter.

  19. #19
    Member Crystal Beth's Avatar
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    Might be good to take it slow at first. Try to strike up conversations while watching television and comment on clothes to guage her reaction

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Many situations here, she might want a plaything that's hetro male.

    Play it very straight rembering what Lorileah has said, the advive from Katey, washing up and hygiene from both sides, do you need to share?
    If you get what you want I think it may be fantasy fulfilled but otherwise forget the idea.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Member Crystal Beth's Avatar
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    PM me the neighborhood you are moving to. I have lived in the city for years and can tell you some ins and outs of the area you are locating to

  22. #22
    Member JayeLefaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti View Post
    Bottom Line ......
    I'll third this! Your original question was if sharing an apt. with a GG was a good idea, but since you only replied back to GGs, then whether or not it's a "good " idea isn't really a question, is it?

    The best housemates are non- intrusive and have a sincere respect of boundaries. Please, for your future housemate's sake, keep that in mind.

    Best

    Jaye
    Satchel was right, something is gaining on me...And God bless the creator of e-cigs!

  23. #23
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    Hi Leonal, It would depend on the lady.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  24. #24
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Remember that most people believe that we are all gay. So make sure that the women know that you are straight. Some may not want to share a home with a straight guy.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  25. #25
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Anyone that would pick a room mate sight unseen is asking for BIG TROUBLE in my experience.

    That goes for both u AND them!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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