Need Some Tips. Can someone Verify my goals and timelines for Feminization?

[leonal123]

Hi There,
I am a CD who dresses up once a while and can't get out of my male self at all. I am currently making a plan to do ground work on Feminizing myself in next 6 months with a busy job and weekend MS classes. Would be nice if someone can add-suggest something here.
Here are the things. My idol and goal is to be like Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton. I love her style and I think I can emulate her. Other one is Julianne Moore

Goal: Being completely passable as girl in 7-8 months

Constant Part (For next 6-7 months)
1. Knowing myself: My Size figuring, strengths and weaknesses. Body type to know the areas I have to work on.
2. Weight loss. I am 5 9 and currently I stand 175 lb. I am planning to go down to 145 to 150 lb so I have to lose 5-6 lb/month
3. Skin Care Take care of Skin, Use lotions and soften it up
4. Growing own Hair Thanks Allisa I'm already growing my hairs for last 3 months

Phase 1 (3-4 Months)
1. Voice Feminization: Work on falsetto voice and sound more woman like instead of ultra feminine
2. Gestures : Study gestures and observe and learn body movements
3. Way to talk: See how to talk/voice tone
4. Walking on heels properly
5. Corset Training
6. Mani-Padi. Keep nails clean
7. Get eyeBrows trimmed. Not super feminine but less bushy

Phase 2 (3-4 months)
1. Makeup, Play around with Makeup. Learn which one looks good.
2. Buy dresses and accesories Once size is fix, invest on dresses
3. Learn to dance feminine way
4. How to talk Learn to carry conversations
5. Develop style and way to carry myself
6. Go out with GG friends be comfortable being enFemme

Phase 3. (After 7-8 months)
1. Socialize en femme with gg
2. Social Cause work for social awareness
3. Fulltime enFemme outside work

[Adriana Moretti]

good for you to have a goal....goals are good and I hope you reach them......I would flip some of phase 1 with phase 2 but thats JUST me...you do you. I'm not there either.......... #alreadyflippedhergoals

[Allisa]

You forgot hair removal from the nose down, growing your own long hair if possible and styling, growing finger nails with polish and all the daily maintenance of being a "girl". Good-luck on your time line but if for any reason you do not quite reach it please do not despair and visit us often.

[leonal123]

Has anyone else tried timeline bound approach? Is there anyone here who started dressing up very late and picked it up in within a year?

[kimdl93]

It's fine to have role models and certainly helps to have a plan. I'm sure you can lose weight, learn skills in make up, and with practice speak and move in a more convincingly feminine manner. But, might I submit that instead of seeking to channel Kate or Julliane, what not set out to discover and become yourself?

[LelaK]

If you don't have dresses, you should get some right away IMO.

It wouldn't hurt to start joining groups for social awareness right away. Meeting other TGs would likely help with your other goals.

Best diet is likely LCHF (low carb high fat). That's natural fat. Similar to paleo and Mediterranean diets, man's natural diet. See Youtube videos.

MY GOAL is to be as pretty as I can be without going to much expense, asap, which means makeup, wig and facial hair removal, maybe within one month.

By the way, which makeup or cosmetics doesn't contain tallow from roadkill and slaughterhouses etc?

[Nicole Erin]

I think you are reading too far into setting goals and timelines for wanting to be a crossdresser.
It is good that you know what you want to achieve but heck with all this timeline business. Just get out there and do it.
Live life today.

One thing I would say to avoid about buying clothes, makeup, and other stuff -
To avoid wasting money, try to pick a style and then choose clothing purchases carefully. I think when a lot of us started out the transgender life, we bought some real faux-pas styles just because they fit and we were excited just to be buying female clothing. Kind of like any new lifestyle or hobby - we are excited and waste money on crap we don't need just cause of the excitement.

For makeup - buy mid-priced foundation. I use neutrogena powder foundation. $13'ish. For other stuff, whatever is relatively inexpensive to cheapest. Do not waste money on Sephora, Estee Lauder, Clinique, Mac, or other overpriced crap sold in glass displays at the DEPT stores. It is twice as good yes but costs 10 times as much. It also lasts about the same amount of time. RIP OFF!
I have some L.A. Colors (eye makeup) from Family Dollar as well as Wet n Wild blush that I use. Lipstick is Maybelline.

Forms - You can get those relatively cheap. Do not spend $100's on a pair, they are just not worth it, they are STILL fake boobs.

Perfecting your look, what to buy, what works for you, etc can take years. You can get a quick start but you are NOT going to learn everything overnight.

Voice feminization - there are a lot of programs and videos on youtube about this. The problem with them is - there is so much "Filler" in the videos that the good stuff tends to slip thru the cracks without you even noticing. The best program I have seen is one by Andrea James. Well made, gets to the points quick, etc. The most important things there - REALLY learn to feel your voice muscles and get over the feelings of being silly. You nail those two obstacles, you are WELL on your way.

Your biggest challenge will be building confidence.

[Marcelle]

Hi Leona,

To be honest setting a goal (e.g., would like to go out dressed "en femme" someday) is great but IMHO trying to hold yourself to a specific checklist of feminization is not a good idea as there are too many variables which you cannot control which if you fail to achieve can sabotage your whole goal. Instead why don't you look at from more achievable sub-goals with no time line applied. For example (1) I want shed some body weight so I am going to join a gym and exercise and eat healthy (a good goal for anyone), I am going to spend some time studying women (not in that creepy stalker way ) to see how they move, interact, walk, gesture and so on. I am going to practice, practice, practice make-up until I find a look that works for me. I am going to work on finding a natural style which will help me blend in the real world. Most of what you listed can be sub-goals but when it comes to going out in public it is not a race . . . you truly need to be comfortable with yourself and it may take only a year or it may take three or it may be never. So while goal setting with timelines work for some things I don't believe it is value added when it comes to CDing . . . goals yes, time constraints not so much IMHO

Has anyone else tried timeline bound approach? Is there anyone here who started dressing up very late and picked it up in within a year?

Yes. I dressed once when I was 17 (complete en femme) and then supressed, beat down and ignored it for 32 years (i.e., no dressing). When it all came crashing down around me I was left with no option but to accept it. Luckily my wife is fully supportive and within three months I moved from not dressing to going out. Now it has taken well over a year for me to reach a comfort zone of going out (not very passable . . . blend yes, pass no). However, I never put myself on a time schedule, I just let things progress naturally and that worked far better for me.

Hugs

Isha

[Stephanie Julianna]

Seems like a very clinical approach. Doesn't seem to have the fun factor I had. Simplify. Experiment with make-up and outfits. Learn from the GG's. Watch the ones that have your body shape, face, and hair color. Find the look on them that says to you. "I could be happy if I looked like that." Then shoot for that look. Don't make it a job, make it an adventure.

[Kate Simmons]

The art of crossdressing is like a fine wine and is better with age. Trying to accelerate or force things may not give you the results you are looking for. Better to be slow and deliberate than quick and easy. Luke Skywalker found that out.

[Lily Catherine]

I would suggest a more organic approach, "own time, own target", as long as you enjoy it and go at your own pace. I feel that putting deadlines might reduce the fun of it. I especially love how you incorporate dancing into the scheme though!

[Tina B.]

Man that sound like a lot of work, and way to serious for me. I'm just not that goal orientated.
Seems to me you are looking for the end results before you even get started.
Trust me, it takes time and lots of practice to get good with makeup. And learning to walk, dance and move like a women, takes a bit of work, and time before it becomes automatic. You might want to forget the timeline and just move along at what is a comfortable pace for yourself, giving yourself time to get comfortable with each step in the process. At first makeup may feel like a mask, but with practice and wearing it often enough it becomes so much more. Buying a dress is not so easy at first either, what style looks best on you, and which styles don't? It takes time to learn these things. Girls learn all of this on a regular basis just growing up, we come to it much latter and have to work at it to catch up.
Forget the time line for success, and work on a time of having fun with it, and the rest will follow in a much more natural way.

[ophelia]

An easy way to feiminze your voice is to push the sides of the middle of your tongue up against your upper teeth and try to sing like a singer with a breathier style like Judy Collins.
But if you want a real freak out, don't do this until you are made up and looking in a mirror. Then say softly with an upward lilt at the end, almost like a question "Well hello Leonal..."

[MsVal]

From the mind of a retired project manager:

I disagree with some of the girls here, and endorse your planning. I've said too many times to count:

"The difference between dreams and plans is that plans have dates and unambiguous outcomes. Lacking those, you're just dreaming."

How many of us are still "planning" to do something, months or years later?

Remember though that a good plan includes contingency plans for the things that don't go as you thought they would (good and bad). Have a plan for the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns.

Project review meeting January 10, 2015. I want to see your budget forecast. (only joking, my fingers went on autopilot)

Best wishes
MsVal

[Taylor186]

1. If you are going to emulate Kate you need to get down to about 120 lbs. Big presentation difference between 150 lbs and 120 lbs.
2. I second total body hair removal and there is no reason to wait even one day on that seemingly never ending chore.
3. If your goal is to really to be "completely passable as girl" you might begin shopping for a FFS surgeon.
4. Every self-respecting CD knows to take photos or "it didn't happen." Post a before photo/video now and shots along the way that will help gauge your transformation progress. These photos/video will help determine needed adjustments to your original goals and timeline, if any.

[Beverley Sims]

Set your goal, which you have already done.
Be flexible with your timeline.
AMTRAK does this with finesse.
If necessary shhft the goal posts to suit.

Do extend time and do not get disapointed if goals are not met.
Have fun meeting your goals.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I fall in to the "have fun" crowd. You should enjoy your dressing and your plan makes it sound like work.

I also question your statement that you are a "Cross Dresser". Are you sure you aren't angling for transitioning to being a woman full time? You're plan are very detailed with regard to changing your appearance to be completely passable. Are you going to try and keep your male and females selves separate? Just some questions I think you need to answer for yourself.