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Thread: Any of you also single with no SO?

  1. #51
    Member Charlotte Haynes's Avatar
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    Also a singleton...I like that word...Never ever envisaged being in a long term relationship.

  2. #52
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    Andrea, you made me cry! I'm so sorry to hear that!!! You're among friends here...at least 'virtually'!

  3. #53
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Thanks for more replies, and sharing. Like one talk show host said, Life is messy, and love is messy. Not always, i hope! Pets fill the void, quite a bit. Without pets, i don't know if i had kept going. The first real girlfriend i had, ended her life, age 21. But, i was emotionally immature, and she had tons of father issues. Neither were mature emotionally, and no one in my family of origin is emotionally mature yet, including me! Too often, we have a fairy tale outlook and expectations, i think, whether straight or bi or gay, about the "right person" for me! I was bullied in grade and high school, and by older brothers, and dad, so I am a paranoid person, always aware of everything going on around me, like a secret agent, hyper vigilant. Being this way, makes it very stressful, to go out in public dressed, so i have very seldom done so. But, having social needs deficits, i tend to "dump" on cashiers, SA's, strangers, at times. I have a bad reputation in the town here, as i dump on people, and vent. I believe every town should have place, where lonely people, can go and just vent, and talk. I am going to try senior centers soon. 12 step groups are pretty good, too. Churches tend to be almost like "couples only clubs", sadly. I remember hearing of "Lonely Hearts Clubs", many decades ago. I wonder if there still are such clubs. I would guess the internet has replaced them. Like some said, Plenty of Fish, has been a dismal failure. I have been on there seven years, and answerd many ads, but very few reply backs, and virtually none has anwered mine. For some reason, that sire has not been much help, for quite a few men.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 12-14-2014 at 12:31 PM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  4. #54
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    Single too

    I have also been single my whole life. In looking back I didn't ever feel ready to be married and settle down. As you get older you do think about some of the girls you dated and how wonderful they were. Some I have met their husbands and most don't seem happy. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work and it seems many think it just happens but it doesn't. Maybe I wouldn't have made a good husband either I don't know and perhaps it was better I didn't and end up divorced.
    There are times where it would be good to be married and have that best friend and companion in your life. Someone who loves you and truly cares and removes that lonely feeling that sometimes occurs.

  5. #55
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Monalisa, I hear you. Singleness is still kind of looked down on, believe it or not. Being alone is nice, but not all the time, isn't it? A love/hate relation ship to being a loner. I suppose marriage can be a love it/ hate it thing too. My older sister is 65, never married, and i fear she will try to latch on to me, after my toxic father dies. Incest is not something for me, even if only emotional. She has only two women for friends, and no men. I hate it when i go places with my sister, as everyone thinks we are a couple!!!!!
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  6. #56
    Chelsea Von Chastity gender_blender's Avatar
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    A bit of a generalization here. I'm a young successful engineer who broke up with my biological gf recently during my chemotherapy. She had always known me as a female even though I'm biologically male. I've always had pretty good luck finding female partners, but honesty from the start is key.

  7. #57
    New Member pinkDOT's Avatar
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    I am young so, finding a GF or getting married is still possible but I have realised recently that having a SO is a good thing but not the most important one. As a person who likes to help others, being able to see the change, the smile on SOs face etc I haven't really had a chance to ask myself what I like, what I want to do, am I happy?

    Now, being single, and learning alot from my last relationship I am finally enjoying life, doing things that make me happy and trying to show others, just a bit, that I have a life, hobbies, own standards, rules etc. I try to stay active, busy as often as possible, try to say positive things instead of complaining, proving myself and others that I am not boring.

    Someday I might meet my SO and be I will be honest and have a wonderfull personality. Positive, vibrant and awesome

  8. #58
    Member Heather1129's Avatar
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    I'm 61, I've been married twice, thats enough. The first time was a big mistake all around, annulled after 6 months. The second time lasted about 4 years, she just turned into a psycho-bitch from hell, I couldn't take it anymore. So I've been single for the last 16 years or so, I don't see that changing anytime soon. I'm happy with life the way it is, I am pretty independent, come and go as I please, do what I want when I want and don't get grief over it. Life is good!

    Heather

  9. #59
    Pirate Queen wannabe Maria Blackwood's Avatar
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    49 and unmarried. A history of wild sexual experimentation, but I'm just not wired for long term relationships. I actually suspect I'm somewhere on the autism spectrum. It served me well in engineering but not so much in interpersonal relationships.

    Pony avatar. Nuff said.

  10. #60
    Tess TessaOKC's Avatar
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    I'm married to a supporting wife who is informed about my dressing. I fantasize about being single and all the fun I would have. Just kick myself in the butt because when I was single I wasn't into dressing. Grrrrr.

  11. #61
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    Wow, yeah. I'm single and not looking at 40-years old. I've never had a significant romantic/intimate relationship and, honestly, I don't feel like I'm missing much and can't imagine that changing at this point or in the future. I've never much taken the societal expectations seriously and have never felt a strong desire for any of the steps to the "Married with Children" expectation. I've always been furiously independent and focused on my career (despite the massive paradigm shifts my career(s) have taken - going from a DoD researcher to a school bus driver is pretty incomprehensible to most). I've always been too busy doing things to notice I was alone or to care that I was alone.

    The irony is that despite the fact that I'm a bit of a non-conformist, I am deeply closeted. That is by design. Crossdressing is a highly sexual and erotic activity for me, it is, of course, solitary, and I don't feel compelled to share the details of my solitary sexual antics with the people around me. It doesn't seem like proper talk at the fire company picnic or post-meeting discussion at the Zoning Board. I don't think most people would care to know my intimate habits and I would prefer that others spare me the details of theirs as well. The nature of my present job also makes me wary of opening up about anything seen as sexually deviant. In a sense, it is confidential information. I'm not lying to people. I'm merely omitting details that are not germane to my interactions with others. I keep everyone at a comfortable distance.

    I expect that if I ever felt inclined to pursue an intimate/romantic relationship with someone and expect it to be genuine, I'd need to fully disclose my idiosyncrasies. I'd be fine with that. Sharing this information in even this somewhat anonymous venue feels nice and I'm sure that sharing it with another in a relationship context would also be good.

  12. #62
    Member victoria76's Avatar
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    I'm single, only been in a relationship (dating) twice. I guess I just haven't found the right woman yet.
    If I ever do, I would tell her about this and hope she is as cool about it as many of them are...

  13. #63
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    19 and single, not intending to date seriously till I'm financially sustainable. When to come out to them about my dressing is another issue, but to let it become an elephant in the room would bear even more unhealthy repercussions.

  14. #64
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    Am sorry for u Rader. May you find comfort and God remove your Lonliness

  15. #65
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    Then, i realized that a woman cannot make me happy, and may bring me massive misery.
    ^this is one of the things that keeps me from becoming very depressed. Someone once said, instead of being unhappy over things you want but don't have, remember of all the things that you DON'T WANT that you don't have. And a miserable wife is definitely one thing that I don't want.....and don't have. And every time I see a guy stuck with one of those irritating, greedy, ugly, nasty shrews, I try to remember my good fortune for not letting myself get sucked into a relationship like that just to avoid being alone. Then being alone doesn't seem so bad at all. At least I have my pet parrot to talk to; he's always glad to see me, cheerful, and likes to play.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  16. #66
    New Member CatCloud's Avatar
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    25 and single, enjoying being single at the moment for the most part, though I would prefer to be a loving relationship with someone who cares for me.
    Would be open with my SO about all of me and hope she could be accepting.

  17. #67
    Member Barbara Maria's Avatar
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    I also am 60 and single.I've been married twice and have no intention of EVER doing it again.The longer I live alone the better I like it.When I'm home I get all the Barbara time I want,can go around in just panties and bra if I want to,don't have to hide anything.I wouldn't have it any other way.

  18. #68
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    At 62 just another "old maid" here. Some day I may find my soul mate but I'm going to hold my breath waiting.

  19. #69
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    I am 63, divorced for 15 years. have dated since but became less and less as time went on. Now single unattached for a couple years. I have no desire to marry again or live with anyone. No one knows of my CD side, so its never been an issue. I am single, no SO... and I like it that way.

  20. #70
    Member DorothyElizabeth's Avatar
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    70 - Married three times, with a seven year stint in a ménage a trois between the first and second one. First marriage at age 18 - we eloped. Lasted ten years, about four of them good. Seven years living with a married couple, until he had an affair with a co-worker and we all broke up. Married the second time for twenty years, but the last five, we slept in separate bedrooms, but didn't mess around with anyone else, either. Last marriage lasted five years - the happiest years of my life. But I felt guilty taking time from us to play music. Finally one day, I was beating myself up for having to leave to go play a music job, and she said, I can't let you do this to yourself any more. I'm leaving you, so you can play music without guilt." That was in 2005. I have been single since, and intend to remain so for the rest of my life.
    "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." Anais Nin

  21. #71
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    well, im 36, never had any opportunities to even have ONE MARRIAGE because im CAT OUT OF THE BAG right of way and iv always been open and ME guess that hasnt always been a bad thing. also, i find GOOD FRIENDS can be very accepting and thats all this counts. don't have to be alone but don't have to be in relationships HIDING THE CAT....UTLLERY MISERABLE..., THAT MAT BE.
    Last edited by jsunic_1978; 01-03-2015 at 03:32 AM.

  22. #72
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    It is frustrating, the dating sites, the indifference, the seeming no hope, to be with someone special. I see my life winding down, and know i am low income with almost nothing to offer, while other guys i know, have married , and have very good ones. They are not CDers, though. That makes it hundreds of times easier. My religion forbids this, too, so i have no chance there. I am still surprised how the majority on here are married!
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  23. #73
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    50% of us all over 40's are now single.
    So we're not alone in being alone.
    xx to all
    From a single female

  24. #74
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Thanks Sixsides. Interesting fact.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  25. #75
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    For me it's more about the very good friends I find in life, not quantity, whether sexual, working, or social, just enjoying their company..

    But I feel I'm intruding as I joined here to ask a question, very cheeky of me I know,

    I was talking to someone on a dating site last year, and got me thinking about CDing, the wants/needs, anyway they were working away, so we talked and talked only, but had an idea about a truly reversible bag, one side is for as male as you want to be..the other for as girlie as you want to be..(the linings also refelected in this..)
    but as I have since lost contact with this friend, I wanted to just get any views people would like that to offer..and even if they like the idea...(I will start a thread instead of using yours...so apologies)

    p.s I want to make them as individual and unique as we all are..

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