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Thread: Getting "caught"

  1. #26
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    indiana
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    83
    I have preteen son. For his social friends to find out what i do, would undoubtedly cause him anguish. Right or wrong That cannot happen. Therefore getting "caught" cannot and will not happen.

  2. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    450
    I am very lucky I have been able to CD,in secrecy,for many years,without being caught by Mother or sisters.I started Cd ing,wearing mothers clothes,secretly after
    she left for work.I would spend the morning dressing in her outfits,once in a while lifting a fresh,unopened pkg of her pantyhose,putting them on&dressing in one of
    her good skirtsuits,with a pair of her heels
    "Love&Kisses"
    Michelle

  3. #28
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Utah, north of West Jordan, south of North Salt Lake & west of South Salt Lake
    Posts
    3,832
    Quote Originally Posted by Nomad Rachael View Post
    It is not so much that you are "caught" crossdressing, but that you are caught in the act of a deception. Otherwise you would be "out" and nobody is being deceived.

    I am sure that for some of us, there is an adrenalin rush associated with the risk of getting caught.
    Many of us spend years and years keeping this to ourselves, trying to figure out what is going on and with luck we eventually accept and even embrace it. Getting caught compresses that multitude of years and trials and thoughts and misconceptions and understanding into a fraction of a second. Yeah, there should be a bit of adrenalin in that.

    I'll play the word game for a moment. I believe it is a desired goal to not be caught, but to reveal. The idea there is to be in control of that firehose full of information and dribble it out in small servings that can be consumed and appreciated before the next sip. Getting caught means the firehose is on full and will knock someone off their feet and that tends to be a problem, usually resulting in grabbing the closest, most personal thing that will help stabilize the world and seeing deception as that handle is often first in that grip.

    When you struggle with something complex and personal for a very long time, all on your own, there is the belief that being able to share it will ease that struggle. There can be a lot of frustration knowing it may take days/weeks/months/years for someone else to understand it, being caught gets it out there quickly. That frustration and the speed of being caught regardless of the results is one avenue that works for a few and doesn't take a lot of work up front. The controlled reveal takes more work up front, is much slower and has the potential to fail (still dealing with the deception issue) as well as to succeed.

    There are a lot of stories out there and I haven't seen one that guarantees the same result for each of us in our own unique situation. I was caught, but I guess the years of being a loving and supportive spouse helped prepare her for that surprise. Other things I couldn't control, such as my wife's basic ability to integrate this new information into her existing knowledge of me and my personality. I was fortunate, but the deception thing never really went away, it just became a little less of an issue through time.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  4. #29
    Member
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    Oct 2014
    Location
    Just west of Georgia, USA
    Posts
    107
    I think being found out is a better term. Maybe not.
    "Normal is just an illusion, what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly" - Morticia Addams

  5. #30
    Banned Read only
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    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Kate,
    The first time my wife caught me she ran off to her sister in tears so to them I was obviously doing something wrong !
    I've now made it clear that as it's something I was born with and will die with , I have stopped feeling guilty as something I'm doing wrong , it's part of me whether I like it or not !!

  6. #31
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,799
    I guess we all know how Superman and 007 felt having to keep it secret
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  7. #32
    New Member Evelyn S's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    26
    I've never considered my CDing to be wrong and have never felt guilty doing it, even when I first started dressing while a preteen. Similar to what others here have mentioned, I stayed deep in the closet out of consideration of those around me and the fear of disappointing them, making them angry, or being teased and ridiculed.

    I lived in fear of being caught when my wife did not know about my dressing, and when she did finally catch me, my fears came true: she was very disappointed and extremely angry. Fortunately she quickly came to accept my CDing and no longer feels dressing is wrong, and I no longer feel worried about being caught by her.

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