Is it just me?

[ambernoel]

Is it just me? I've often considered myself more of a lesbian. Work with my hand's,ride motorcycles, drive fast carsand generly do realy butch things.I had never realy gave much thought that I should change socialy just to look like a woman. I still would enjoy doing and being me just in a slightly different wrapper. Am I alone in this or are there other who feel the same way?
I mean I realy don't think I would stop doing lots of thing just because it would not be what a "stereo typical" woman would do. Any Thoughts?

Amber

[eleventhdr]

Yeah i can agree with that and identify with ti i am a mostly straight mlae but if and when i was to finally become the girl i have always wanted to really be i do think i would still perfer the female sex over the male as far as having real relations with nayone just because what i have discovered that only women really do know or understand what other women really want or know how it is males no matter how hard they might try can only do this if and when they would become female as well also until then you will never really know So yeah i am lesbain as well inside where i am a girl who just want's out at last. Oh well!. Suzy!.

[Ms. Donna]

Is it just me? I've often considered myself more of a lesbian. Work with my hand's,ride motorcycles, drive fast carsand generly do realy butch things.I had never realy gave much thought that I should change socialy just to look like a woman. I still would enjoy doing and being me just in a slightly different wrapper. Am I alone in this or are there other who feel the same way?
I mean I realy don't think I would stop doing lots of thing just because it would not be what a "stereo typical" woman would do. Any Thoughts?

Amber

Hi Amber,

I think it's just you...

OK, I'm kidding. Just another example of why labels belong on canned goods and not people.

There are many straight GG's who like more 'macho' things like you mention above. They are no less 'women' because of their interests - in fact it often makes them even more attractive!

If you want to be technical about it, identifying as a lesbian would have everything to do with your 'sexual' (in reality gender) orientation and very little to do with your other interests. Keep in mind that there are very girly lesbians out there - girlier than many of the straight GG's.

If you try and play the 'name that transie' game, all you'll get is a headache. The labels, such as they are, have been defined from a cisgendered perspective. When applied to transpeople, they tend to stop working well. Example: I am male bodied but I don't really identify as either a 'man' or 'woman'. Presentation wise, I'm all over the map: kinda 'guy' one day, more feminine the next - I've described my look as soft or girly 'butch' at times. As far as orientation goes, I find that I am most attracted to women - i.e. people making a strong feminine presentation.

If the person to whom I'm attracted is male and presenting as a woman, what does that make me? Straight? from a plumbing standpoint, no - but from a 'gender' standpoint... Maybe.

If the person to whom I'm attracted is female and presenting as a man, what does that make me? Straight? from a plumbing standpoint, sure - but not from a 'gender' standpoint... Maybe.

If the person to whom I'm attracted is a post-op m2f presenting as trans (i.e. no clear gender presentation) just what does that make me - other than very confused?

I understand the desire to have a place where you 'belong' and that the labels society uses help to provide that. But in reality, lables are best used as a shorthand for description and not proof of membership to some group or another. I mean, we've spent our entire life fighting society's desire to classify us as either this or that? Why would we do it to ourselves now? I know it's easy for someone else to say, but don't get so hung up on the labels. There is no good reason to change any part of yourself just to fit some label or another.

As far as changing aspects of yourself goes, change because it is something you want... because it is the right thing for you... because it is something which resonates within you... because it is life affirming.

Society is fickle and social norms change. Don't change to fit the labels - change the lables to fit you.

Until there is a good, solid definition of a 'stereotypical woman', I think you're safe being whoever it is you want to be.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Gilded Graper]

labels belong on canned goods and not people.

Right.
I believe labels are useful to those starting to break free of their imprinting, to break free of the lable they were given at birth.

Also, labels show other options - you can pick one, some or all.

[joni-alice]

labels are sticky
j-a

[Maria D]

I am labelled 'Smartprice Sliced Peaches'. I don't know why.

In who I am terms, all I want is to be a girl. Difficult to say what that means in social terms; it doesn't force me to wear skirts, or deny me trousers, or stop me riding a bike, or a thousand other things. All normal women have the option to be as butch or fem as they want, and so do I. Of course, all men have that option too, I'm just not one of them, that's all.

All I have to do now is convince society to let people be what they want to be. That's all we ask, isn't it? Can't be hard, can it? Should have it done before breakfast. Wish me luck.

Maria

[ambernoel]

Well I gues I was realy venting.. after having a "health care profesional" try to tell me if if i wanted to chnge my looks i had to act the way I looked i.e. more girly.....just didn't sit well with me...I am who I am just in the wrong package.....

any way.. tnx for the feed back....

[Maria D]

Well I gues I was realy venting.. after having a "health care profesional" try to tell me if if i wanted to chnge my looks i had to act the way I looked i.e. more girly.....just didn't sit well with me...I am who I am just in the wrong package.....

any way.. tnx for the feed back....

Yeah, the NHS 'specialists' do that, too. As I was saying to my private specialist yesterday, they offer totally unsympathetic treatment based on non-evidence based standards enforced with no continuity and, frankly, no standard of care at all. Indeed, I have been informed by the NHS (UK state healthcare) that I am now under a 3 year waiting list, and any treatment I get outside their care will not be considered by them when they DO see me. In that time I will be spending all three years as a woman, but they will still enforce at least a 1 year further RLT before they will pay for SRS. And woe betide anyone who turns up wearing trousers, oh no, what a sin. 'Surely,' they say, 'surely you want to be a woman?' And thereby demonstrate a complete lack of understanding or acceptance of the TG condition. And they are the carers. How DARE they try and fit me in a box to satisfy what they think I am or should be?

Ok, I appear to have joined you in the ranks of the rant. I'm just so angry about it. Angry at the system, angry at the people who implement it, and angry at the fact they think they are doing it right, and protecting people from making a mistake. It's my ****ing mistake to make! If I regret it in ten years time, it was my *****y fault! What half arsed crippled legal system allows people to sue the people who gave them what they asked for in the first place?

Hmm, yes, anger; so much anger towards a system that doesn't care and, worse, doesn't want to. I'm probably going to pop and shower the monitor with blood in a bit, so I'd better calm down.
Darth Vader tried to woo me to the dark side once, but I rejected it, because it was too liberal. Nice clothes though. True story. Nearly.

Take care, and I hope your specialist finds understanding.

maria
xxx