Question for CD's only.

[Ally 2112]

In some ways cding could be considered a costume . For me it is clothes that i truely enjoy wearing and it seems the older i get plus the aceptance of all of this the more i want to dress .I have gladly and finaly got to a point where i can for the most part fend off any negativity i used to feel .This has made me a much happier person and has made dresing more enjoyable .I mean face it this will not go awayso make the best of it if you can

[DonnaT]

For me, CDing is filling a need, not a want. I need to dress, I don't need to fully dress.

The only reason I can figure I need to dress is I am TG at some level. It's not a hobby, and not Cosplay.

Because it is being TG at some level, I can't stop. Hobbies I can quit.

[Jackie7]

A cosplay event and a CD/TG weekend such as Keystone or First Event do look a lot alike. But you generally don't find cosplayers out on the street the rest of the time, in pubs and restaurants, nor dressing up on a regular basis at home. At the same time the more I go out the less urgently I feel the need to fully dress at home, some days I do, but most of the time I'm underdressed and wearing regular outer guy-drab. And while I don't feel there is an inner girl clamoring to get out, I do feel that my internal body image has breasts and I somehow feel more serene and complete when I am wearing forms and a bra. As for hobbies, for me the difference is the compulsion. In addition to being a CD, I have another expensive and consuming lifelong hobby-passion, I will never give it up, but I'm not compelled to it the way I am to dressing pretty.

So I thought this was an interesting question that made me think, and as always there are as many diverse answers and personal truths as there are CDs on the site.

[carhill2mn]

I am not entirely sure that I know what "cos play" is. I do know that crossdressing/wearing women's clothes has never been "play" for me. CDing has always been nearly essential despite the many obstacles, problems, troubles, etc that have been a part of my life. Even though I get a great deal of pleasure from presenting as a woman, I would not call it "playing" or a "hobby".

I, too have no intention of transitioning. I do, however, intend to continue to play the role of a woman to the best of my ability for as long as I am able.

[NicoleScott]

The desire to crossdress waxes and wanes at times, probably in response to some known or unknown outside influence (life happens). For me, crossdressing is exciting with a sexual element to it. I have been able to get away at private times and places to allow me to do whatever..... I take advantage of these times by crossdressing, even if initially not "driven" by the same excitement I know I will eventually receive. Maybe it's the knowledge that I know I will like it based on past experiences.
There is a cosplay aspect to my dressing sometimes but not always. (By the way, cosplay as an opposite sex character is called crossplay). I usually dress in off-the-shelf women's clothing, although I like over-the-top expression (short skirts, very high heels, heavy makeup, etc.). Sometimes I like to dress in a costume, like a maid's outfit, cheongsam, or schoolgirl sailor uniform. It's not role-play for me, I just like the look.
I don't get depressed when I can't transform. Maybe I have learned to manage that. My interest builds, though, when I see a window of opportunity, and as I plan for the upcoming dressup session.
To the extent that my dressing is driven by sexual excitement, I can see a decrease in dressing as age acts on my drive. That's life. But for now, I still enjoy it.

[Cheryl T]

No, this is not "cosplay". There is nothing about it for me that is that way.
One night a few years ago my wife and I were returning home from a Tri-Ess meeting and she said to me, "you act very feminine". My response was automatic, "I'm not acting".
This is not about what I wear, it's about who I am. There is no acting involved. Perhaps in the label sense I've moved far beyond CD into the TG realm. I don't care to try to cubby hole myself with terms. Others spend far too much time doing that for me and I have better things to do with my life.

[fun4metoo2004]

For me, it is more of a "sexual" thing, even though I do under-dress daily with Panties, and sometimes stocking/garter belt. I rarely get a chance to freely cross dress at home as I had to move my Son and his Girlfriend in about a year ago. I would really like to take it further, however I don't have the freedom to do it, nor do I have the body. I want at some point to go to a makeover/transformation salon and get some photos done to see what I could possible look like.

[NicoleScott]

I would really like to take it further, however I don't have the freedom to do it, nor do I have the body.

If we didn't crossdress because we don't have the body, there would be a lot fewer of us. Just do it.

[prettytoes]

For me it's just a bit of an "escape". I rarely go all out...usually just some tights and a skirt, maybe a bra now and then, and I always wear panties. I like the way a skirt or capris look and feel on me. I also shave my legs. However, I am happy with the "equipment" I was born with, and I am strictly heterosexual (married for over 30 years). I have no desire to go any further, and I have been dressing since I was quite young.

[Taylor186]

You don't have to crossdress to be a part of the Cosplay scene. There are plenty of male characters to choose from. Yes, Cosplay provides a cover for crossdressers to cross dress in public spaces without scorn: as does Halloween. As Doc said above, it's a compulsion for the crossdresser, not a hobby or just a costume.

[~Joanne~]

I want to thank everyone who has replied to this thread. Believe me, While I sometimes feel like this is cosplay, More often than not this is something more to me. I just don't know what it is.

It's a quest that I am sure most of us are on, trying to find some sort of reasoning behind all of this, especially because we don't plan on transitioning, something we will probably never find but maybe we will just by discussing all the things that we do.

It would be somewhat for myself. Just bear in mind that even if I were FAB I would do the same thing as there are just too many great female adventuresses out there in movie and comics land not to.

I have been looking into female costumes myself. Ever since I have accepted that I am CD, I have been exploring everything that I can or want to. Dressing like a super heroine is most certainly one of the thing I want to try, on Halloween or not. I have had a thing for Batgirl forever but putting it all together has really been a chore and I am failing all around. Probably because I want the costume dead on. Now I am also thinking Catwoman or Supergirl.

I dont even know why I do it...I just enjoy it, and try not to think about it too much.

That's what I do mostly but sometimes these questions and such creep up on me and make me think about the "Why?" of it or try to figure what lead Me to where I am.

Fubbling...? That has to be the word of the year! I love it...

Joanne - I can look back on too many decades of ups and downs with this mad-ass thing... too many 'last time purges'... too many 'never agains'...

I meant to type "fumbling" but I'll lay claim to it's creation and use lol

I think we have all purge and swore this off, that goes without saying really just wish I could have seen how stupid it was and I'd still have some GREAT things....outdated maybe but great none the less lol

This site has help me come to peace that I am a crossdresser and part of me has a Femina side that likes to express her self.

I feel the same. Before this site was the denial constantly, though sometimes I feel ideas and such are trying to be forced on us,there are more positives than negatives. I have made some wonderful friends that I can share this with when I thought for the longest time I was alone and that is worth it's weight in gold

Cos play? No I don't think so, that sort of implies I dress as a way of doing a piece of performance art. something for the benefit of an audience. That wouldn't explain closet dressing. I know I can reach a boredom threshold where just being dressed somehow doesn't truly forefil my desires and I want to be "out there".

I think that is when it becomes more like Cos play. Once your out there. you certainly want to make sure the look is perfect to save yourself from bigoted people and the like, you want to be seen as a woman without anyone questioning your gender and that is when your performing isn't it? The look, the walk, the mannerisms....

This is a good thread because I've been wondering how many think that cosplay is even related to CDing.

When we buy costumes, I think it most certainly is. When we spend hundreds of hours, and dollars, trying to find our look, our style, and trying to be the most presentable woman that we can, as not to be questioned, I think it is connected to cos play more than we would like to admit sometimes.

I would never use the term Hobby. I have hobbies and they are nothing like dressing

Joanne, it is not a hobby to me, that is certain. Golf is a hobby. I can choose to play golf, choose to get good at it with practice, etc. I did not choose to be a cross dresser, I am a cross dresser. So it is different in this subtle way. As for being Cosplay or some other form of playing dress up, I do not feel like that either. I need to cross dress. But, like you, I also know that all I will ever be is a cross dresser. I will never want to live as a woman. I will never transition. Cross dressing will always be a very small part of my life but part of me.

I agree 100% with both of you Especially with Jennifer's statement "I did not choose to be a cross dresser, I am a cross dresser."

This statement is sort of the same way I feel about fetishes. You like whatever it is you like, you really didn't have a choice in the matter, it just is what it is, either accept or go mad trying to deny it.

If this feels like cosplay to you, then it is cosplay to you. But most importantly, just because it is cosplay for you today, it won't necessarily mean that it will be tomorrow.

That is very true Some days, especially when I spend a whole lot of time in front of the mirror, doing make up over and over till I feel it is right, or "I" disappear in the reflection, I tease the wig until it looks like I just walked out of the salon or looks good enough to be any GG's hair.....those are the days it feels like cosplay. Most days I am just doing my thing

If we didn't crossdress because we don't have the body, there would be a lot fewer of us. Just do it.

I agree with Nicole, fun4metoo2004. No one here has a feminine body, not without the padding, forms, and other tricks that give us the look we desire. If You want to go further, GO FURTHER. None of us just threw a wig on and said "hey, this is the best I am going to look" we work hard to pull this off, if we ever truly do. It doesn't stop us from doing it or going as far as we want with it.

[Angie G]

For me it's a serious thing when I dress full or in part it makes my day a lot better. I's me it's who I am.
Angie

[sami1952]

I do it mostly becausd I have always felt I was meant to be a woman. Dressing up fulfills those feelings.

[TerriM]

I have been dressing since 12, started going out when I was 29 and I'm 66 now. My desire to dress is stronger than ever. My family have always come first. If things were different I would try living as a woman. Whatever cosplay is, I know that isnt me. I love my family, but I love being Terri.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

I am a woman in a male body, so in that sense, cross-dressing for me is an expression of that part of myself. The hobby comes into play when I am adding clothes to my collection of outfits. In fact, i added a really nice mauve/purple one-piece today, and I was happy that it fit well, it looks nice, and it is the proper length for me to wear it to work.

There might also be a difference between people who cross-dress almost or all the time, and those who do not. Myself, I try to dress all the time, but it is not always possible. I think those times when I have to be in my male role make the desire to dress up all the more intense.


Amy M. Jackson

[Christen]

Joanne, finally I've gotten to a point where I think I understand why I do this, and believe me I've fubbled this one for too many years. For me CD'ing is an outward expression of who I am. Don't mean that I think I'm female but a fair chunk of me is some ways away from the male end of the line. Everyone sees me as male, treats me as male, reacts to me as male, but there's this bit of me saying I'm more than that, I'm different to that. And the only way I can get it out and allow myself to stop bottling it all up ... is to slip into a skirt and heels. I rather wish I was more like Adrianna, don't think about it too much, just enjoy it.

Christen x

[Eryn]

I got to thinking though, and that's why I only want CD responses to this, is this more of a Cos play to you? I mean, we often read about it here as being a "Hobby" and I think that for a lot of us CD's, that is exactly what it is, though an expensive one.

We're a spectrum and every time we try to draw a line someone manages to straddle it. Being TG is a lot more than cosplay to me, it is an integral part of my being that I suppressed for decades and I'm finally letting myself explore more freely. It amounts to a lot more than a hobby although the limitations of language sometimes has us thinking o CDing as such.

As CD's, we don't have a "Inner Girl" trying to get out, don't feel trapped in our own bodies that they need surgical changes made, nor do we really need to be accepted as "our true selves" as this isn't our true self when dressed. It makes me think "What exactly is this?".

Maybe, maybe not. I feel a lot more true to myself when dressed. I don't feel as though there is more than one of me in here, but I do feel that I am letting myself express myself more completely now, not pushing myself down to conform to societal norms for my birth gender. I don't feel the need for medical interventions, but "never" is a very long time. My biggest battle has been in my own head, to convince myself that I can go out and the society will accept me as I wish to be. For the most part it does, but it's difficult to unlearn decades of habit and fear.

[LelaK]

My identity is fem angel, no matter how strongly my male aspects shout otherwise. I'm CD, TG and even TS by some definitions. I'd love to crossplay, but it would be more than play to me. I'd love to be a Lolita too.

[janec]

I do it mostly becausd I have always felt I was meant to be a woman. Dressing up fulfills those feelings.

i feel exactly the same it is a way of becoming the woman i feel i should have been. but having been brought in the traditional male model and after so long and having a loving family it would be far to difficult to transition now so i am happy to dress when i can and have some support of my wife. dadt

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I think for all of the 50 years I've been dressing, much of isn't just as exciting anymore. I've just settled into being a male / femaile living in the middle without the pressure of presenting myself in any set way. I compare myself to the young GG who learns all the nuances of being a woman. That means the excitement of hair, makeup, and exploring new fashions. I've done that. But I think as (me especially) and women get older they take a more conservative unisex look for the most part. Nothing wrong with anyone dressing (boy or girl) to go all out in their presentation. This convinces me that I don't need to transition as I once thought. Sure I like a little makeup and a slightly effininate look, but most of the time I dress as a drab woman with women's jeans and tops, and sneakers. I know it's different for many women to present themselves as very feminine for social occasions such as weddings. My wife does. But she admits she'd be more comfortable not having to wear a dress. I'm just being comfortable me not trying to figure it out or feeling I have to live up to any expectations. Yes I am a CD but I don't live up to what anyone perceives about CD's.

Cheryl

[tommi]

For me it is such a stress reliever and I think there is a little bit of girl
In all of us that wants out