Question for CD's only.

[~Joanne~]

Hi everyone

Lately I haven't had much of a chance to "really" dress or even the desire. I do, here and there, because it calms me and relaxes me (which based upon this post, I seem to lack the reason as to why it does), but I haven't gone full nines or even to the point where I want to do pictures, even though I have a whole bunch of new outfits I'd love to show you, it just isn't there. Hasn't been since Halloween. You would think that the cooler weather would have me dressing More rather than less.

I got to thinking though, and that's why I only want CD responses to this, is this more of a Cos play to you? I mean, we often read about it here as being a "Hobby" and I think that for a lot of us CD's, that is exactly what it is, though an expensive one.

As CD's, we don't have a "Inner Girl" trying to get out, don't feel trapped in our own bodies that they need surgical changes made, nor do we really need to be accepted as "our true selves" as this isn't our true self when dressed. It makes me think "What exactly is this?".

We all know we will never know WHY we CD, we will never be able to stop CDing but while we may think we are CD, a lot of times it goes past the line of being CD into being TG. I know, as do many of you?, that the buck stops here, there is no transitioning on the horizon and I can say that truthfully, so what is this to you? just a hobby? cos play?

What I am saying and asking here may not even make sense to be honest LOL I am finding this hard to put into words, I am fubbling with the actual question so I guess at it's barest form, is this cos play to you? because when I look in the mirror as of late, that is more and more what it seems to be for me. I just want to pick your brain a bit

Have a great week!

[Kate Simmons]

It would be somewhat for myself. Just bear in mind that even if I were FAB I would do the same thing as there are just too many great female adventuresses out there in movie and comics land not to.

[Adriana Moretti]

I think everyone (cd's) are different and do it for different reasons....some do it to feel complete ( like themselves) some do it to escape ( and feel like someone else) some cause it gives them a sexual rush........I dont even know why I do it...I just enjoy it, and try not to think about it too much.

[StephanieinSecret]

I have to agree with you. I struggled picking a name for this forum, because I don't *have a sperate female persona. I'm still me, just wrapped differently. The clothes do inspire certain behaviors and mannerisms, but it takes concious effort to enforce their expression consistently. These things are how, partially, I know I am CD and not TG.

[Alice Torn]

I am having trouble dressing lately, too. I think one reason, is having a near violent argument with my hot tempered sister. She turns me off to wanting to emulate a woman, and i get an aversion to even dressing like one. She even kicked me as hard as she could, a while back. I have to wait a while, before i have motivation to dress again. Reason why i dress? Being kept away from girls as a boy, young man, and never being around many of them all my life, the clothes and styles, and texture, and how they make me look pretty, maybe other reasons like not liking my guy self much, and also, seeing beautiful women i could never have, so i dress as one.

[Katey888]

Fubbling...? That has to be the word of the year! I love it...

Joanne - I can look back on too many decades of ups and downs with this mad-ass thing... too many 'last time purges'... too many 'never agains'... Maybe that's all in the nature of how it affects some of us... Some have continual progression - some have progression and plateau - others have switchback roller-coaster rides... (that's me, defo..) Others have - something else entirely...

Is it cos-play? Yeah - I think a portion of it is... it's a deliberate and very disguising alter-ego... It's frickin' hours of detail work to get to something 'blendy'... and it's totally at odds with male-me (at least in image.. not persona..) All that said - it'd be easier if I were a Civil War cos-play guy (we have an earlier Civil War here... Cavaliers have long hair and lacey ruffs - right up our street! ) but there is something more here that shouts at me: be feminine! And loudly... But it comes in long term waves for me - 6-7 years ago I was doing nothing related to this... now look at me - toast!!! 5 or 6 years time - could be back to nothing (but at least I have the photos to show the grandkids, right? )

The motivation shifts and flexes for some of us... in unpredictable ways. All I can suggest is we ride the wave...

Katey x

[Erica Marie]

For me it has been a 30 year journey. Trying to justify it and figure it out. The last few years I have realized I just want to be me. At times Im not sure if I should be female, male or just a body. I fear more what people will think of me than I worry about myself. I wear cloths, some are mens, some are womens. I have my ears pierced, so do alot of other men and women. I am starting to wear my hair longer and having a stylist help me keep it looking nice. So what am I ? Just me I guess.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

For me it's more than Cos play. I really want to change what I see in the mirror to look female, even if it is just a temporary illusion, because it looks "right". As I sit here in my admiring my shaved legs in pantyhose and heels, I think to myself, "that's the way they are supposed to look". I don't think I will ever transition, but I would like to improve the illusion. For me it's more than a hobby, I would say it's an obsession.

[Stephanie Voorhees]

I really, truly, honestly just like the clothes. They way they look and feel. I don't look at it as cosplay, or trying to emulate a woman. I wear women's clothes for the same reasons that women wear women's clothes.

[Laura28]

For me it is a way to relax. I also love the process of getting dressed and I enjoy the feeling I get when dressed or under dressed. Do I want to transition no I have thought of it and at time like the idea but I am a man and want to stay that way. But at the same time I love dressing and looking like a woman. Over the years it has come and gone but for the last 3 to 5 years it is consistent and I am at peace with it. I will say this I think being on this site is not helping me not want to dress lol. This site has help me come to peace that I am a crossdresser and part of me has a Femina side that likes to express her self.

[Helen_Highwater]

Cos play? No I don't think so, that sort of implies I dress as a way of doing a piece of performance art. something for the benefit of an audience. That wouldn't explain closet dressing.

As a closet dresser I get to spend time dressed when everyone else is out the house. I know I can reach a boredom threshold where just being dressed somehow doesn't truly forefil my desires and I want to be "out there". However that doesn't stop me dressing, experiencing the tactile sensations of wearing fem clothing, knowing heels make my legs look good, achieving a convincing body shape. In some way it's more akin to a drug addicts fix.

Hobby? No it's beyond that but it does share some of the same traits. Having pondered long and hard as to the whys and wherefores I've come to the conclusion I'll never truly know the answer. I just enjoy the ride.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joanne, I've been in this program for over 68years and it's just who I'm and it's just what I do
It has become a hi priced pressure relief valve for me.

[docrobbysherry]

Hobby? More like a compulsion for me. I define myself as a closet dresser now. Altho it took me over 12 years of thinking I was TS before I figured that out!

Cosplay? That involves role play, I believe. I can dress up to look like a character for photos but I don't understand role play. Nor do I understand how to play the role of a female.

For me, it's all about fooling myself into seeing an attractive woman in my mirror and pics. She doesn't have to be dressed to the 9's, or dressed at all. She just has to LOOK like a pretty female.

[Rachael Leigh]

For me as I've got older I now understand it's about an expression of a part of me that has to be expressed. I don't fight that anymore and it's made certain things tougher but I know it's a part of me and it is like a hobby but it's not so you see we are all different

[Ressie]

This is a good thread because I've been wondering how many think that cosplay is even related to CDing. Cosplay is a very new term (and concept) to me whereas crossdressing goes back to my childhood (around 50 years ago). I think they're two different things that join for some but I'm just OCD - obsessive compulsive dresser!

[Majella St Gerard]

we all have a feminine and masculine side, I am finally able to accept that part of me and express it. it is not cosplay or a hobby or a costume for me, it is just me. I am usually dressed in something feminine every day, even if it's only panties under my work clothes. I don't hide my CD-ing but I also don't flaunt it where it's not appropriate, like at work. I'm out on face book, so anyone can see if they do some searching on me. It's a part of me, I find it hard to dress all male sometimes. I CD because I want to, it makes me feel good, I think I look better crossdressed with a little make up on. I like it, my wife likes it, my friends (some have never seen me dressed in boy mode) like it and accept me for me. anyway I'm just me and I'm a Cross-dresser.

[flatlander_48]

I would never use the term Hobby. I have hobbies and they are nothing like dressing and, while they satisfy a need, it is not a seemingly fundamental one. The things that I do for hobbies I find interesting and engaging; I wouldn't do them if I didn't. But, they are not part of what I consider my identity to be. I am a crossdressing bisexual at a much deeper level than I am a motorsports enthusiast or a movie buff. If just isn't the same thing; not by a long shot.

That said, desires and interests wax and wane. It's just how it is: unpredictable...

[sabrinaedwards]

For me it is really more than the clothing. At times I feel so feminine, with my nails polished, scented, make up, heels, and an attitude that makes want to be totally girly!
Love, Sabrina

[Alice Torn]

I am posting again, hours later than my first one, where i said i was not motivated. Insane! I just got through several hours of dressing, and photo shoots!! It is crazy, sometimes, on again, off again. I am sitting here all dolled up. This thing is an enigma.

[Jenniferathome]

...I got to thinking though, and that's why I only want CD responses to this, is this more of a Cos play to you? I mean, we often read about it here as being a "Hobby" and I think that for a lot of us CD's, that is exactly what it is, though an expensive one. ..

Joanne, it is not a hobby to me, that is certain. Golf is a hobby. I can choose to play golf, choose to get good at it with practice, etc. I did not choose to be a cross dresser, I am a cross dresser. So it is different in this subtle way. As for being Cosplay or some other form of playing dress up, I do not feel like that either. I need to cross dress. But, like you, I also know that all I will ever be is a cross dresser. I will never want to live as a woman. I will never transition. Cross dressing will always be a very small part of my life but part of me.

[Robin414]

For me...I'm a genuine fan of the feminine condition!!! Imitation is the ultimate form of flattering right? That said I find it 'easy' to be a woman, the manerisms are natural, etc and I truly love the feel of women's clothing...chics are SO fortunate! That's the CD part of me speaking...I'm still a boy...I think ?

[Martina]

I have throught for quite some time what cross dressing means to me and I also don't think that cosplay is part of how I feel about putting on female clothes. It is more the way I feel inside that makes me want to dress than any hobby, as my signature I feel that deep inside I am the girl my mother longed for but never had, so this is just part of my innerself, and have now accepted that is the way I am.

Martina

[Marcelle]

Hi Joanne,

For me being CD/TG or whatever is about being me. I don't differentiate between boy or girl me in the sense I am the same person . . . only the packaging changes. I am with Adriana on this one in that we all have our own reasons (which vary) for dressing "en femme" and probability of finding one root cause/reason would be infinitesimal at best.

Hugs

Isha

[sarahcsc]

Hi Joanne,

I wonder what a cosplay fanatic would say if you asked them, "is this just crossdressing to you?"

I can't define what crossdressing is in general because it means different things for different people. It could mean something benign, or it could mean something life changing. There might be many cosplay fanatics who turn up at the Comic Con convention, but to one of them, it may represent their only chance at beating their social phobia by putting on a costume.

I suspect you would get a range of answers by asking this question but none of them would be generalisable to crossdressers as a whole.

If this feels like cosplay to you, then it is cosplay to you.

But most importantly, just because it is cosplay for you today, it won't necessarily mean that it will be tomorrow.

You may look into the mirror tomorrow and and see something different.

Do NOT fall into the trap of thinking that this will remain static. Crossdressing is dynamic and it changes with the time of your life and social circumstances and XXX (other factors which I haven't yet identified).

Have a great week too, Joanne.
Sarah

[lynda]

hi girls,im a trans person,but mostly im a blender of both sides of me, if im in a store i will buy from any dept,if i like it mens womens . i put it togeter. and form my style, sort of a jimi hendrex,janis joplin .stevie nicks look. in the end its just me.hugs love lynda