One of those days

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Today I had a 5hr window to myself and I'd been so looking forward to it for weeks; knew I wanted to dress, put on make up, try to get some more pics. Instead the time got cut in two by a very demanding so-and-so who I have to try to keep happy- my income depends on it. So it went from 5hrs to 1.5hrs x 2, and the first 1.5 went in rearranging furniture, experimenting with lighting, trying stuff on, kinda fun but I was irritable and watching the clock. I took some trial pics, uploaded them- the lighting wasn't right.

By the time I'd taken care of the work thing and got over my grumpy feelings it took me another half hour to get back in the mood, so now I had only about an hour. I decided to forget the pics, forget the make up, and just play with the clothes- suddenly I was enjoying myself again. My wardrobe for non-lingerie items is pitifully small, so I put on leggings and tried some different tops and corsety things, a lacy body stocking, and a few bras. It was a watered down version of what I'd been looking forward to, but it still felt like entering a sweet dream of rustling satin, fiddly bows and hook-and-eye fastenings.

I felt absorbed, fascinated again by these girlish garments, and more determined than ever to get back into the burgundy silk Monsoon dress I last wore in the early '90s. My wife got on my case last night for having wasted money on a pair of boy pants a size too small, which I bought as 'target trousers' to encourage me to lose another couple of inches from my waist. I got the whole lecture about being dangerously obsessed with losing weight, which hurts- I've been overweight by anyone's standards for the last 8 or more years and if I hadn't lost so much I would never have the pics I've posted here- I hated the way I looked. I'm eating better, hardly drinking, have cut out bread and cut way back on dairy and sweets- people keep saying I look 10 years younger- so to hear I'm dumb for buying pants too small comes like a bucket of cold water over the head.

I thought I wanted to write about my disappointing afternoon- it turns out I wanted to write about last night's conversation.

Thanks for letting me vent. Whoa- I'm welling up with tears. Seems like I might have got back a little more in touch with Nikki today after all.

xx

[charlenesomeone]

Nikki, getting to an ideal weight is a good thing and good for you.
Congrats on losing weight, sorry about losing "girl time".
Vent all you want, hope you feel better. Big Hug!

[Julie Denier]

Weight is a constant battle for me -- in the past couple years, I lost a whole bunch, gained a lot of it back and I'm trying to work it back off, or at least keep it from going any higher. The holidays don't help ... anyway, I know how you feel about limited dressing time and plans going awry. My chances are limited as well, and I tend to use shorter windows just for trying on new things, seeing if they have to be returned, maintenance/cleaning/repairs, etc. Oh, well ...

[Beverley Sims]

Niki,
Don't let things depress you, think positive all the time and keep the bright things in the foreground.

[gennee]

Congrats on losing weight. Whatever time you have to dress, enjoy the time.

[Amy Fakley]

It's like that for me sometimes too. Going into a dressing opportunity with any specific goal in mind ("I'm gonna get pictures", "I must wear this outfit or that one" ... and my eternal nemesis, "I'm going to get my eyes right this time!") ... always seems to backfire, cause some stress and ends up kicking me out of my happy place.

These days I try to just go into it with no plan. Imma put on music, light a candle, take my bath, shave, maybe smoke a thing or two, then I'm going into the closet and I ain't coming out until I feel suitably girly, lol.

... then I'm gonna finally get my eyes right ... NO WAIT ... dammit! :-)

[Jane-C]

Ha ha!!!!!!!! I wish I had your guts. I'd love to be just me. But at the moment cant