My mom said this to me yesterday. I was over at my sister's, for Christmas. We were sitting around, after lunch and opening presents, just talking. Or rather they were. I wasn't saying much. It was nice to be there, but I wasn't exactly engaged in the conversation. I'd tried to talk about what was going on in my life earlier in the afternoon, and realized that nobody present wanted to hear a thing about it. So I just shut up. I felt pretty good about some of the stuff going on in my life, but I was definitely not going to get the opportunity to say much about it.
I mean, it was pleasant enough there. Mom likes my boyfriend - there's something I never expected - and is delighted that I'm "happy." I mean, I guess she's delighted. I am pretty happy now, but we don't ever really talk about that's difficult or unpleasant. Since a lot of my life is difficult now, it just means we don't talk about anything, really.
So I was kind of sad. I was sitting there, kind of wishing I could talk about stuff I was happy about, or proud of, and realizing that I couldn't. And I realized something. I now live in my departed, long closeted gay uncle's old condo. (His sexual orientation was a big family secret, nobody talked about it, everybody knew. We don't talk about things like that, it would be - unpleasant.) He never talked about his life either in family gatherings - I learned more about him after he died from coworkers and colleagues than I ever did from family gatherings. And I realized something - I knew exactly how he must've felt.
So my boyfriend and I said our goodbyes, and left after a while. Pretty much the same as my uncle, although he wouldn't have stayed as long as I did.
As we were driving away, I thanked my boyfriend for picking up on my discomfort, and helping to make our exit. I told him "I guess I lot my game face there at the end, and they could tell what I was thinking." He could relate when he deals with his family.
I did learn one thing though - they read my facebook page. I didn't know that - they never comment on it, at least not that I can remember.