Bit of a shock ! Time to replan !

[Teresa]

Xmas morning brought a shock to the village, a nice guy aged sixty three was found to have died in his sleep ! My son use to work with him so it hit him hard especially as he was also my age ! The sad part was his wife ended her life through severe post natal depression so he now leaves an only daughter alone in the World !
It's times like this that you consider your own situation, how much of a mess with your Cding stuff are you leaving to your family to sort out and deal with ?
I'm not planning a purge because my wife knows where my things are but I need to go through it and clear out some things I'll never wear ! Perhaps it's the time to ask for proper storage space so things can be kept cleaner and better organised so disposal would be easier for them if the problem arose ! It's selfish to say I won't be here so I won't know !
I guess this is the problem if you're in the closet ! Maybe we get to a certain age where coming out to the family is not a selfish act but one of trying to make things easier for them.

[Annaliese]

Sorry to here that it's hard when some one dies and they are close to your age, had a friend die the other day close to my age 2 years older, it's still hard, you never know when it your time,my thing are in our closet, the only problem would be if we went at the same time.

[Glenda58]

A friend of mine passed about 10 yrs ago. I had told him about my CDing and he was ok with it. Well after he passed I helped his kids pack all his things to give to goodwill. In the back of his closet were slips bras and dresses. One of the dressers had a panties and hose in. His son said " Well that's dad" and just pack them up. I said it might be some of his girlfriends things but I knew it wasn't. He never told he was a CDer.

[DonnaP]

I'm of that age and I often wonder what my family will do when I die and they eventually find my other set of clothes. My kids will really be embarrassed I'm sure and my wife will just die. I guess I must consider a plan. But I just love dressing so much I would not be able to stop.

[Sarasometimes]

My only preparation to now is having a note to them positioned prominently on my stash. Maybe it will be enough to put it in some perspective.

[Allison Chaynes]

Teresa, great topic.

This is why I am out to my wife. When I found out I was requiring a bypass and might not make it, I moved most of my girly things to one location so it would be easier for her to get rid of however she decided. Honestly, it was more stressful cleaning up the computer and removing all my adult files to a couple of flash drives with disposition instructions. And there was the whole updating-the-will thing, living will, and "what to do if I die" letter. It also forced us to discuss some difficult things, like making her promise to have me cremated, and how things with Allison would be moving forward if I made it. We still have discussion to have on that topic, but the timing hasn't been right yet. As her seasonal demand in her business dies off in the next week or so, maybe we can do it then.

[Lorileah]

OK this assumes you don't want to be found out right? You do realize that you could be hit by a bus or whatever at any moment? So what do you do? The best thing is to come clean to at least the person who will handle the estate. If you fear being outed after death best to not do it before. You going to give it up?

[Krisi]

Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one and any of us could die within the next hour. It's more likely the older you are but you never know.

Assuming my wife survives me, she can handle the CD things as she wishes. If she dies before me or if we die together, it's anybody's guess what would happen and who would find out.

Of course if I'm dead I won't really care.

[DonnaT]

I've had 3 friends from my school days die this year (one from a blood clot resulting from shoulder surgery), and since '73, many more classmates have died for one reason or another. I take a dose of aspirin every night before going to sleep to ward off blood clots.

My wife and son are well aware of my dressing, so disposal of my belongings should not be a problem.

[Beverley Sims]

I do not consider others when I think of dressing or passing on.
Sounds harsh, but they will sort it out when I'm gone.

[Maria 60]

Our children are older now and my wife and I travel and do almost everything together, just last week I was straightening out my fem things and I told my wife, if something GOD forbid should happen to us together, boy when the kids go threw these closets there in for a surprise. My wife response was, why I should care I won't be here to do any explaining anyway, so I shouldn't think about it and live my life. If only it was that easy.

[IngeInCO]

No one's "God" cares. Be yourself

[Allisa]

There is a saying "we've reached the age where god stops giving us things and starts taking them away". Being single; my Will will have to do the sorting out as my wardrobe will be a part of my estate and whom ever I name as executor will have a guide line to go by and I really don't think my CDing will be too much of a surprise for them as "uncle Al" is some what unconventional anyway.

[lingerieLiz]

Well my wife knows and sees it everyday. My daughters know so they will do as they choose. They could make some good money on eBay if they chose to. They will probably donate it to a charity for battered women.

[MissTee]

My brother died 3 weeks ago. He was late 50's and only 14 months older than me. I've not lost a sibling until now and it is all still very surreal. My wife knows of my CD-ing and is supportive, but only now am I seriously pondering what might play out if I were to pass away. This new (and unexpected) reality has removed several degrees of separation from the thought, and I can say it's not as easy or distant as throwing a few sentences in a thread here.

[donnalee]

This happened about 20 years ago. I saw an article in the paper about a "famous musician"'s death. It was someone i had known for decades and had gigged and recorded with; he wasn't really famous, but he got lots of work, made good money and his family still was promoting him (they packed the joint). I attended the funeral where his family members gave him a tribute and I found out he had been dressing for years, as his son talked about it; something I hadn't known about him (and something I didn't know about myself at the time).
Life can be weird sometimes.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Interesting topic Teresa. My wife knows I dress (and that's too much information for her). She knows that I have some clothes but would be staggered by the number (and younger style). So it would be hard for her to deal with the cleaning up. I hope though that she would understand and know that I was happy and that I loved her by compartmentalising my life in order for her to cope. She may even find somethings she liked.

As a 64 year old, a number of cohorts are dying or with health issues. My response to age though is quite different than worrying about someone cleaning up the wardrobe. Do what you want while you can. Live your life today. As the saying goes 'The older I get, the less I care what people think and the more I enjoy life.'

[MelanieAnne]

I take a dose of aspirin every night before going to sleep to ward off blood clots.

An aspirin a day is probably OK, but not right before bed on an empty stomach. Better to take it with some food. Aspirin can cause stomach bleeding. 1/2 an aspirin gives 24 hour protection.

[Sarah V]

This past year I helped a aged CD acquaintance of mine dispose of almost all her things, as I had been letting her store her stuff (her family did not know nor would they have approved) in my rented storage unit for a number of past years now after she had moved away from San Antonio to be closer to her children/grand-children and estranged spouse out on the West Coast. I was glad to be able to help her out, and with her permission I donated most of her things to charity thrift stores, but I also let a few other local gurls that I know here in town have first dibs on things.

For me personally, I have a few good GG lady friends who know about and accept me as Sarah, and if anything were to happen to me in the short term, I have given them instructions for disposing of my things. In the future long run, at some point, I guess there will come a time for me when I will probably have to make the sad decision to dispose of all of Sarah's clothing and femme stuff myself, before I am no longer physically able to do so. But that decision I hope and pray is at least another 25 - 30 years away for me.

However when you really think about it, and if you are a single TGurl like I am, does it really matter what happens to you/your stuff once you are gone. I mean your dead, and you are not coming back ever. So you are not going to be around to hear about anything anymore anyway.

[DonnaT]

An aspirin a day is probably OK, but not right before bed on an empty stomach. Better to take it with some food. Aspirin can cause stomach bleeding. 1/2 an aspirin gives 24 hour protection.

With my hours, my stomach is rarely empty at bedtime.

Note that coated aspirin is designed not to break down until in the small intestine, so it won't cause stomach bleeding. If course, if one already has issues with bleeding, aspirin will increase it, so a doctor should be consulted first.

[Donna June]

Almost happened to me. A few years ago I had an aortic dissection. Two days before that my girly things were spread all over a spare bedroom before I put them in the dresser and closets (I need BIG closets for all my stuff) I was in the hospital for a month and a family member had to come into my house to take care of some things. Definitely would've known. I have written a letter and put it in an area with my women's clothing explaining about my dressing in case it happens again and I don't make it, but kind of like what Beverly said I can't worry about what others think, even loved ones, once I'm gone