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Thread: A little bit of a change.

  1. #1
    New Member Jane Doe's Avatar
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    A little bit of a change.

    I have not been on this site to post for several months but I do drop in now and again to keep an eye on events. The reason for change is to tell you what has happened directly because of this site and the benefits it has brought me.
    Basically my SO has always known about my Cding right from day one but as our relationship matured she noticed I logged onto this site several times and confronted me about my sexuality and reasons for crossdressing. I couldn't answer the second part primarily because I came onto the site to try and understand it myself. I have done the CDing for over forty years and always kept it quiet, kept my clothes in inoculous places and sometimes they never got aired or even washed for a while. My sexuality was easy, I love women of the female type, always have always will, perhaps this is why I try to emulate the appearance and feel of a female, I dont know.
    Anyways I said she was ok with the Crossdressing bit and on rare occasions allowed me to partially dress but was anti me using wigs, make up or shaving my body. We even set a compromise with her about shaving my legs to my thighs. I wasnt happy but it was a beginning. I do love her so had to try and maintain peace on the home front.

    One day I came home from work and she confronted me about my clothes bags, told me she had taken them all from where I kept them,( yes I was naive to think she didnt know where they were) and hung them in the wardrobe. My shoes and make up bag and wigs were neatly put away and she had even brushed and treated my wigs. At first it was confusion but then she announced that she had signed up to this very forum, asked questions and she promptly got answers to her questions that I could never answer through long term guilt or denial.

    Moving along quickly I now crossdress more fully and relaxed with her full approval and encouragement. We go out shopping together and she helps Jane get a certain dignity in her appearance, No cheap underwear off the internet now, we go to high street stores and look at really nice sets, dresses and shoes. We spend time together more now, she helps me choose make up, and shows me how to put it on better and blend the right colours. The bras fit much better and she demanded I get better breast forms which is inspirational. My wigs have changed to suitable accessories rather than anything that works. My clothes have really improved and I feel nice and look as good as I could hope. Xmas just past she bought more for Jane than she did my male persona. Now we plan my dressing together. She teaches me how to accessorize jewellery. She will make a romantic meal as I am bathing and pampering myself to look good. It can take me two hours to get ready simply because I enjoy the experience much better. I come downstairs and I feel a million dollars and she always compliments me and we have some great times. We maybe do this once or twice a month,and tonight Jane is seeing the New Year in with her and that is such a long way from how it was just twelve months ago. Boxing day she pointed out a stunning blue dress and some strappy high heeled sandals in gold that were perfect for me and we had to buy them.

    I embrace it now,I look forward to it all with her rather than trying to find a couple of hours whilst she was out. We recently bought a new three compartment wardrobe so the three of us has our own place for our stuff,though she does ask me now and then if she can just borrow an article which is lovely.

    All it took was us to sit down and talk, and of course the original replies to her on her which allayed her fears of what it is all about.

    So from one very contented girl to all those that helped me I send you all a big hugs and loads of thanks. I feel much more complete.
    Jane X
    Last edited by Jane Doe; 01-01-2015 at 04:06 AM.
    One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
    Henry Ford

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Jane,
    Just a little understanding from others makes life so easy.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I'm glad this has worked out so well for both of you. Enjoy the new year!

  4. #4
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Wonderful outcome - she clearly loves you as much as you love her

  5. #5
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    Yet another, unsurprising, tale of support. Amazing what a little understanding on both sides does for a relationship.

  6. #6
    New Member Jane Doe's Avatar
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    you are quite right. the hard part is breaking the ice. We are so closeted we find it hard to come to sharing thoughts out in the open. For me once past that point it was relatively painless. We are ccertainly closer together because of it now.
    Last edited by DAVIDA; 01-01-2015 at 06:50 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the post right before your post.
    One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
    Henry Ford

  7. #7
    Senior Member Bria's Avatar
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    Jane, what a lucky girl! Just remember to reciprocate, buy her some neat stuff and don't let her forget the man side!! Happy New Year to both of you.

    Hugs, Bria

  8. #8
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Jane,

    What a great story and what a wonderful GF. Like others have said . . . let her know you are there for her as she has been for you.

    Hugs

    Isha

  9. #9
    The best of both Worlds! Paula_Femme's Avatar
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    Congratulations!!! It sounds as if you're both going to have a VERY "Happy New Year!!!"
    Black is ALWAYS the, "New Black!"
    "I really hate it when people accuse me of wearing Womens clothes... these aren't Womens clothes... I f*****g bought them!!!" Eddie Izzard.

  10. #10
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    Hi Jane,
    Happy New Year, and a Happy New You.
    My wife was also OK with my dressing, she was the one to insist
    that I get a proper wig; so I went to a wig shop that catered to
    CDers. and got three wigs just for me.
    She was teaching me all about make up when she passed, Only had
    one lesion. It is around Holidays like this you miss them very much.
    Rader

  11. #11
    Silver Member justmetoo's Avatar
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    That's great! Open communication is certainly one of the keys to understanding and, with love, acceptance, I believe.

  12. #12
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    Jane that was a great story, thank you for sharing it. You have a wonderful SO, enjoy being together.
    Happy New Year
    Hugs
    Charlene

  13. #13
    Member Martina's Avatar
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    Hi, Jane,
    I am so pleased for you and your partener, It's heart warming to hear that you have gained more acceptance and understanding from her.

    Martina
    The girl my Mother longed for trapped inside a boys body If she had only known I was there.

  14. #14
    New Member Jane Doe's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your support, appreciation and encouragement.Its been a rough ride at times but the end result is worth it. Yes I do ensure she has male side of me enough ( I hope ), and shopping trips is for the two of us. I make certain her wardrobe is getting larger too. Her birthday treat from me this year was a sexy pair of Jimmy Choo's that I as Jane chose for her.
    I think she likes it and class us as a threesome, there's just only two present at any one time, It may sound odd to many, quite a few less so hear but at the end of the day it works.

    A very happy new year to everyone.
    Jane X
    One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
    Henry Ford

  15. #15
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    Jane,
    I'm so glad the forum has worked so well for you, your wife has has finally realised that what you're doing is a harmless need !

    Just one question, some of the threads I would prefer my wife not to see , does your wife have a problem with some of the things we write about ?

  16. #16
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Jane, Thank you for sharing this wonderful story for the New Year. May your relationship grow and flourish in 2015 and beyond .. and take good care of that girl!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  17. #17
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Wonderful outcome- thanks for telling us. I hope 2015 brings everything you would wish.

    xxNikki

  18. #18
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    What a wonderful story. You have got to be so proud of where you are now. I have recently told my wife of my CDing and she was completely ok with it. I have noticed she has become more comfortable with it now that we've spoken. She has given me the ok to go out and buy clothes which is liberating (still need the courage to do it more often). She and I wear the same size tops and she's asked if she could wear them. She says I have wonderful taste in clothes and shoes that she asks me to go shopping for her. I bought a pair of boots for me the other day and last night she came down stairs wear a new pair of boots. I inquisitively asked her if those were mine ans she chuckled and no their mine. We got a good laugh at it.

    Anyway digressed a bit. But the bottom line is it's amazing how once you say something to your SO how supportive they can be. I envy you that you both can shop for you rather than her and that you are comfortable dressing in front of her, more so that she is ok with it too. Hopefully I can get there too. You bring me hope. Thanks again for sharing. Nikki

  19. #19
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    Thank you for sharing your story of love and support. Your SO is amazing as she chose to understand by coming here and asking questions. I'm sure you will have many wonderful times and will build rich memories of togetherness and closeness by communicating as you are now.

  20. #20
    New Member Jane Doe's Avatar
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    Theresa,
    I understand what you are asking,however I believe she is liberal enough to understand it takes all sorts to be a community and that there is always parts that we dont want to see, however she asked me the tough questions soon after signing on to this site and asked me if this is what I wanted or was it that I wanted and where did Jane belong. Once I told her my intent, my like and dislikes my preferences and desires for the future she was happy to help and I guess thats a showing of love and commitment together as a unit.I prefer a little bit of sophistication and elegance when I dress, and shes more than willing to help me in that aspect and enjoys the result together and I think it fits in nicely as she likes to cook a nice meal and wine and dine Jane and treat her like the lady she is. My male side learns from this and I suppose reciprocated it back to her. It seems to work .
    Jane X
    Last edited by Jane Doe; 01-03-2015 at 07:53 AM.
    One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
    Henry Ford

  21. #21
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    Communication and reciprocation. What a dynamic duo.
    Congratulations to the both of you.
    I have lots to learn, but already have learned very much here!

    Vanessa

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