Wednesday,
Great discussion you have started here. I think there maybe quite a few of us in the same state that your finding yourself. One of the things I find interesting on this forum is that folks often refer to themselves when en-fem as their true or real self. Maybe what they mean is that wearing what is considered female clothing is how they like to present to others. But their true/real self is what they are all day every day clothing is optional when it comes to being yourself.
I do enjoy dressing and I usually dress to blend I think I tend to pass ok or at least no one cares.When I go to a drag club I certainly break out the heels and a short skirt and tend to blend there to with the other girls. I would love to dress wild and crazy but societies norms mess that up for normal out and about.
I guess what we are all looking for is happiness and acceptance and that would be nice BUt I do find cross dressing at least for me a fetish. I do get a thrill out of it. It is emotional, a happiness high. When I go back to drab I don't necessarily loss the high all though it does fade after a bit. I think if I were to stay cross dressed all the time I would lose the high I get from it. That has happened after several days of constant dressing. If I take a break for a bit and then go back the thrill returns. I am not sure of the definition of fetish but if it is getting a thrill an adrenaline rush it qualifies. When the thrill is gone so is the bra unitil I need another harmless adrenaline buzz.
I like that Lisa the bi gender can be a new letter in the LGBT spectrum. I love switching back and for also It is just fun