How did you feel the 1st time you went out in public

[Jodi]

First time was over 25 years ago--prior to the internet and all the info that is available today. Feelings? Terror and scared sh*tless.

Jodi

[sherri]

Heart pounding, hands shaking, legs trembling, head on a swivel, ready to bolt any second. In other words, I was instantly addicted. ;-)

[sarah555]

Well girls my first outing is going fairly well, had a few glasses of wine so feeling more relaxed. Had a few sneaky looks from people in bar but no one has said anything bad to me. Worst so far is having to queue for cubicle in ladies room while dying to pee lol, the ladies are so much cleaner than the mens. Also some guy at bar tried to chat me up when I went to buy drinks and insisted on paying lol. Now my friend is saying next week we are to go to a niteclub lol. xxx

[Beverley Sims]

Just go out back straight look ahead and walk with confidence........

Who am I to give advice like this when I didn't do any of that.

Sarah,
Go and do it, you won't look back.
Good luck girl.

[Glenda58]

It was so long ago maybe 30 yrs ago. The wife was out of town with the kids. Got dressed late at night had a wig and heels skirt and top. Scared someone would see me went to town to the strip mall park my car. Got out looked around didn't see anybody just walked around my car about 3 times got back in and drove some more. Found another strip mall this time I walked up to the store front and looked in the windows the store was close and it was on a main street with cars going by. I walked about a block then turn back to car when someone came around the corner at me. I walked as fast as I could in heels to my car they got there at the same time. I thought I was going to die my heart was pounding so hard. I had to wait to put the keys in the door my hand was shaking so bad. After I got home I wanted to go do it again the next day and I haven't wanted to stop since.

[Tiffanyselkoe]

I had a big sister go to IHOP with me my first time out in public. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

[Julogden]

Scared shirtless, followed by euphoria when I realized that I'd survived the experience.

[Lucy Long Legs]

It took me many years to pluck up courage. When I finally went out, I couldn't remember why I had been scared. A great mixture of vulnerability, pride and exhilaration. And the realisation that I was doing nothing wrong.

[scarletcd]

I held off doing it for so long but last year I finally plucked up the courage to go out in public. I was incredibly nervous at first but the amount of support I had on the night made it a night to remember

[Julie Denier]

I think I was more nervous in the time leading up to going out the first time than I actually was doing it. But then, I had some great support. I shared the details of that momentous evening here ...

[Katey888]

Sounds like it's gone well Sarah...

I can only echo what others have said - but with a lot of planning (for me) the nervousness becomes excitement, and the fear morphs to a deeply satisfying feeling of contentment and satisfaction - my first outing (last October) story is here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-it-one-day%85



Katey x

[Stephanie Julianna]

It was the most complete I have ever felt as a person. I had a makeover at Lee's Mardi Gras in NYC in the Spring of 1980. I brought a very pretty print dress in nylon and my own wig. This was at the original store on 10th Ave between 42nd St. and 43rd. Lee tutored me as he applied the foundation and make-up. I was transfixed as the transformation was happening. When he was done and the wig was in place I was almost in tears. It was as if I was seeing myself for the first time. I donned my dress and heels and entered the world for the first time as Stephanie, except I was Debbie back then. Lee had said I looked like a GG she knew named Debbie so I took the name. 10 years later a GG TV admirer I knew said I looked like her girlfriend Stephanie and that was the last name change I made. Stepping out on the street of NYC as Debbie was one of the best experiences I ever had. I spent many a lovely night and weekends with my TV admirer Friend, Sam, over the next 20 years cruising the numerous TV bars, restaurants and clubs the city had to offer. We also just mingled in straight venues as well. Interestingly enough, I became a cosmetic buyer for a Grocery chain and was sent to cosmetology classes for CoverGirl, Prince Machibelli and AZZIZA (remember them?). In a short time I was actually giving Lee tips and product suggestions for his store. It was a wonderful time and even to this day nothing beats getting out en femme. I'm posting a picture that was taken only six months after that first time with Lee Brewster. You've seen it before but it helps the story here.

[Miss Melissa]

My first time was electrifying & stomach churning, like nothing else I'd ever experienced. I still get that feeling when I dress, 25 years later.

[XemmaX]

as for me it was moment of exileration. sure i was scared but i did feel really free at the same time.

[Stephanielawrence]

My first time was this past week to a support group meeting! I have to admit that when the time came to go out I felt less nervous than I thought I would. I had a professional makeover prior to going out (which was also the first time someone saw me dressed!). I think the combination of my new dress, new hair, new boots, accessories and my makeover made me feel confident and calm. It was fantastic and I didn't want the night to end!

[Helen_Highwater]

My first venture out was probably 30 years ago, pre internet, clothes SO's castoffs destined for the charity sale, shoes 2 sizes to small. Not even sure I had a wig back then and makeup that looked like I put it on with a trowel. I drove a short distance to a quiet residential area and walked around what was the old village green and church.

How did I feel? Scared sh**less but driven by a huge compulsion to be out of the house and dressed.

Scroll forward to more recent times. Support from folks here, my own clothes and makeup, shoes that fit and several wigs to choose from. My first real venture out to mingle with the muggles.

How did I feel? Nervous but no longer scared sh**less but still driven by a huge compulsion to be out of the house and dressed.

My next goal is to meet up with other CD'ers. I guess I'll feel somewhere between nervous and elated. Only time will tell.

[DorothyElizabeth]

First time was while in the pit orchestra for Cabaret. I was late, driving to the show already in my ****ty clothing, and got pulled over for speeding. The state trooper looked at me license, and said, "Do you care to explain any of this, MR. -----?"

I told him what was going on. HE said, "This is just a warning, not a ticket. There are no points or fines connected. But be careful; if you get pulled over by the locals in this county, they might not be so understanding."

The first time I went out just dressed as an ordinary female, I reminded myself of what I used to tell people during my dope days: "People see what they expect to see. YoOu can walk down the street smoking a joint, provided you handle it and smoke it as if it were just a normal cigarette." And it was true. I wasn't "clocked" until the cashier at WAWA, where I get coffee recognized me from my usual morning stop there. I expected her to know, but wasn't concerned that she would get all silly about it, and she didn't. She said, "That's a nice dress. Where did you get it? I wouldn't mind having one like that for myself."

[Sabrina727]

My first experience was pretty interesting. I was 16 and living with a girlfriend on the beach. We lived in a studio apt right on a boardwalk that was on the water. It was late at night and I dressed up completely; full makeup, clothes and accessories and went for a walk. All was good for about an hour until a group of people from my work came walking on to the boardwalk. Me being so panicked, I had to jump down and climb up under the boardwalk to let them pass. I totally got away it was actually pretty exhilarating hahah

[crissytgirl]

I went out completely dressed a few years ago for the first time. I did do it on Halloween during the day, to try and ease into it. I went to a local area park, just to walk on a paved path. Nobody was really there, and I was dressed in a really cute top, green plaid skirt, tights, and a pair of boots. I was made-up but wore my wife's sunglasses. I was really nervous about someone seeing me and commenting, but I made it thru. Just was I was getting in my car and leaving, someone was pulling up to walk around the park!

It was pretty exciting to walk around like that!

[jaimiesky]

I remember waiting at the outside door, for what seemed to be an eternity, trying to find enough courage to go through it. I was dressed in a cute jumper, semi-opaque tights, ballet flats, nails done, makeup done, purse on my shoulder and sunglasses on. I remember clearly the exhilaration I felt as my senses were heightened. I can still remember the taste of my lip gloss. I also remember that, at the time, I was over occupied with my ability to pass a natural woman, so I perfected my look. I was going to blend in, go shopping, have a coffee maybe - I was going out in public and I was going to be "me" for the first time! So I went out, drove to the mall (sat in the car) and then got out shopped a bit. I was so excited, I felt so natural, so free. I never noticed anyone looking at me strange and I was careful not to draw attention to myself. I just wanted to be a girl shopping for a new skirt and blouse. So I did. That day is burned into my memory. It was wonderful.
Today I'm not so courageous, and have only ventured out to safe places, and not too often. Why? Not sure. My age perhaps, my masculine features are more obvious now perhaps. I miss that free young girl in the ballet flats.

[sara.rafaela]

I started dressing while traveling for work at the hotel. I typically stayed at a Hampton Inn type hotel. These are nice hotels, but you can also find a room on the first floor close to an exit that goes straight to the parking lot.

My first two trips to the parking lot were outright fear. I got fully dressed, sweater dress, nylons, heels, wig, makeup, forms, and hip pads. The look was somewhat like office lady. Peek out the door... no one there. Test the room key, make sure it is not demagnetized. Car keys in my left hand in case I need to make a quick escape to refuge. Out the door... scary. A few steps through the hallway and iInto the vestibule. Peek through the little window in the vestibule... no one out in the parking lot. OK. Out, a quick walk, and I hope no one sees me. This was very exhilarating, but once I got back to the room; then what?

On the third time I decided to do it all. I went out to Diva's in SF. This is an infamous transgender bar in the Tenderloin. I say infamous because it is in a seedy neighborhood and most of the girls in there are working. However, I had checked it in advance and had seen cross dressers in there. I also felt that once inside, being dressed in there would be the least abnormal thing. OK, it was the same routine escaping the hotel and getting to my car. Then there was the drive. I tried hard to not make eye contact with anyone in the next lane.

Once I arrived there was no parking within half a block of the place. I just did not feel comfortable walking in the open. So, I went for a short drive, came back, circled the block a few times. Finally, there was an open spot, across the street and 4 or 5 car lengths down. I parked. It took a few minutes to calm my racing heart to open the door, kick me feet out, and put my feet on the pavement. Then I was out, here goes; I closed the car door, another nerve wracking step. I walked to bar without incident.

The bar was slow, I picked a spot away from everyone. I sat down and had two rum and diet cokes. I was really concerned about my voice. The bar tender Alexis was nice to me. I felt surprised when she called me sweetie and she. No one else talked to me. Satisfied that I proved something to myself, I got up and left. On the way to my car I passed a shady looking guy who cat called me. I was feeling so good that i just ignored him. I got into the car and left.

[sarah555]

Nice story Sara, I must visit SF.

[Kelley Anne]

The first time I went out fully en femme was a minor disaster.
My mom helped me with the makeup and then we went to the local gay bar. Imagine walking into a bar on a Friday night the first time you went in public and you were only only people in there (including me and my mom). I was incredibly self conscious even though the bartender was used to transgender people. So, yeah, it was not a good start to my public CDing.

[JuliaM]

My first time felt so natural it was almost anti-climatic - it was like it was meant to be! Showing the world how I feel inside has been the best think I have ever done for myself.

@Stephanie - love, love, love the pic and story

[BillieAnneJean]

The first time I ever crossdressed was at a transformation studio. Within less than 24 hours I was in a pastel pink wool double breasted coat, black heels, wine colored knit dress, wig, and everything else walking down main street. Went to a club and danced till 2:00am. I was very self conscious but not afraid because I was with more experienced girls. They protected me. I had a great time and was so buzzed I did not sleep for 48 hours.

Now I do that for new girls and those who want to get OUT enfemme for the first time or just need to become more comfortable. http://www.crossdressersmichigan.com

BTW I go OUT enfemme to places frequented by the general public about 50 times a year. Of those fifty maybe two are less than perfect mostly because some guy has to mumble something. I will take those odds anytime.

Clean out your bucket list while you can.

This is SUCH FUN!

Billie