Chatted up

[sarah555]

Has anyone been chatted up / hit on while out en femme, and how did you react.

[Adriana Moretti]

like a normal person......ok maybe I blushed a bit

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Scared the living hell out of me!

It was one aspect of my feminine persona that I had never even considered.

It was at a dinner in Atlanta during Southern Comfort when I was approached. I was out with a group of other girls and asked for their help. Everyone rallied around to help but in the end it wasn't needed.

I explained to him that I was not the least bit interested and he was a perfect gentleman and honored my wishes.

I was so upset I almost called my wife that night and asked her what to do. I was more afraid of her response than I was about the suitor. My wife just laughs about it now as one of those things "women" have to learn.

[Kate Simmons]

I always feel flattered myself.

[Lori Kurtz]

Only once, many years ago. I was maybe 30 years old, and not yet at the peak of my dressing skills. I was in a mall parking lot, wanting to be seen but not by anyone up close. I didn't know whether I was passable or not, but thought maybe so from a distance. Suddenly there was a guy right there next to me saying hello. I was caught in between my two worlds, not sure what the guy was seeing when he looked at me: did he think I was a real woman, or did he realize I was a CDer? In retrospect, I think he must have clocked me, but at the time, I didn't know. I turned away, and each time I turned away, he tried to maneuver himself into my field of vision again. He was persistent, but not aggressive. He spoke reassuringly, and I felt no threat of violence, but I was still scared out of my mind. If he was sexually attracted to me, I knew there could be no happy ending, because if he thought I was a woman, I couldn't deliver what he wanted, and if he knew I was a man, I didn't want what he intended to deliver. I never said a word, because I have a deep voice, and he eventually gave up and walked away. Now I suspect that he might have been a sister, and I can't help but wonder what might have developed if I had thrown caution to the winds and just said hello.

[kaleyg]

I was at a gay bar watching a drag show. I came alone, but knew a performer there via facebook and was hoping to meet her after the show. Anyway, I was sitting alone sipping a glass of white wine when a guy came over to chat. At first he just chatted, but then realized I was tg and started asking me about myself -- how long I had been dressing, how often, etc. Turns out he was a cd but wasn't dressed that night. Looking back, I wish I had played along a bit more and asked him to buy me a drink or something. He was a nice guy and there was no danger. We kept in touch on facebook a bit. If it ever happens again, I'm going to try flirting, just for kicks.

[nhlighthouse]

I was in a walmart automotive dept when I had my 1st encounter with a CDer. Beautifully dressed and carried herself well. We talked over the quality and price(s) of the auto goods that where on the pegboard and I could just feel something different about her in her voices and mannerism. This was before I came out and if I knew than what I know now it could have turned out much better and could have a new friend to help me dress and share our experiences! Oh well I am still looking.!
Maybe if us crossdressers wore a certain color nail polish on a certain nail that would out us to other CDers!

[Krisi]

Not "chatted up", but I've been greeted with "hello" or "good morning" and had to try to respond sounding like a female. I probably sounded more like Michael Jackson though.

[DanaR]

This happened back in the mid 1990's at the Esprit Conference in Port Angeles. Several of us were sitting in the noisy cocktail lounge at the Red Lion, it was getting late so my wife went back to our room. I sat there with some others for a while and a lady (gg) at another table was looking at me and made a gesture for me to stop by her table; which I did. She was sitting there with several friends. We were talking for a little while, then she leaned in and told me how pretty I was and gave me a kiss. Nothing happened and my wife thought it was funny when I told her the next day.

[Marcelle]

Nope and not likely to happen unless the person is wearing some major "beer goggles"

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

Or "coke bottle" lenses, right Isha?

[Tracii G]

I have had it happen a few times but I always said thanks but no thanks.
Never knew if they thought I was CD or a GG.

[Julie Denier]

I haven't been out enough for such an opportunity to arise - not that I think it ever would, but if it did, it would probably be a guy asking me to help him change a tire or move something heavy

[kimdl93]

Never by a male, but I have had some interesting conversations with women. I'm married, so although I enjoyed the attention, I didn't take advantage of these situations.

[Persephone]

I've had it happen a few times. Someties it is kinda nice, sometimes it is just plain annoying.

Once an MtF TS and I were sitting in a bar having a drink and catching up with each other and this lounge lizard kept butting in, trying to talk us up. That was one of the annoying ones and we finally had to be pretty harsh with him to get him to go away.

But most encounters are just guys who want to strike up a connection. I try to deflect those as nicely as possible. After all, guys have delicate egos, especially when it comes to female relationships, and it took some courage on his part to approach, so I try to smile and let him down gently.

And then there was my "stalker." You can read about him here (click here) and if you go to that message and click on the blue "Kimberly (and everyone)" part you can get the backstory.

Oh, yeah, and I've also been hit on by two women!

As Linda E. Woodworth's wife said, it is just one of those things you have to get used to as a woman.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Aerotgirl]

I usually have a guy or two talk to me or offer to buy me a drink when I'm out. I'll have a friendly conversation with them, but I'll buy my own drink. I have no interest in men and many of them find this very difficult to understand.

Dani

[sarah555]

You must look great en femme to be chatted up so many times x

[DebbieL]

Yes, I have been chatted up, but I do have a ring on my left 3rd finger - It's actually a wedding ring that came from my wife's father's mother. I can be flattered and be interested in the men if they are polite, because that is the safest route to go. If they start to get too forward or I can see that they are thinking romance, I mention my wife, or Lee, "my other half". That usually cools things without them getting rude.

I've also been chatted up by other women, and that is just normal for women. I've been on the plane thinking I'd just sleep on the flight and end up having a wonderful conversation with the woman next to me the whole flight. If I mention my wife, they often ask how long I've been married, they say "not possible, gay marriage wasn't legal then". That is usually when I let them know "I was her husband when we first got married".

The worst thing to do is treat a man like he is a jerk just for talking to you. 99% of the time, flirtation is just mutual affirmation, complimenting each other, showing that you are attracted to each other, but understanding that there may be any of a dozen reasons why you won't be going home with each other tonight. Flirting and chatting each other up is a nice way to affirm your own femininity and his masculinity.

Generally, if a guy is a rude jerk, that will show up in the first 90 seconds, and it's not too difficult to excuse yourself.

[Aerotgirl]

That is an excellent point. The last thing I want to do is create that type of resentment that would make someone hostile. Granted some people are just jerks or are looking for a reason to be jerks. That's one reason I always try to stay polite and in no way misleading to them. I love socializing with strangers when I am out, but I do draw the line at unsolicited groping as a means to entice me. At that point I stop being so polite and have to be a little more firm. If this sort of thing makes you feel uncomfortable, try taking self defense courses to instill confidence in yourself. I have never had to hurt someone and I hope I never have to.


Dani

[Sallee]

It has happened a few times once in straight country bar 30yrs ago I was asked to dance. I guess I passed well then It was a kick I did say no but still what a thrill. It has happened a few other times to but usually in a gay drag bar so I am sure they knew I was a CD. I have always declined. It hasn't happened in a while

[stacey.eyes]

The main one I remember was a bit like Kaley's, at a bar, alone at a small table and watching karoke. I was probably a bit overdressed, in a black sparkly semiformal, and a guy grabbed the other chair at the table and sat down next to me. I was unclear about his intentions, and responded to the small talk with answers that were only a bit more than monosyllabic. The waitress (possibly having seen this guy before?) suddenly became very attentive, checking on me frequently. I finished my drink pretty quickly and asked her for the check, and she took care of it quickly and gave me knowing looks as I got up and left. In retrospect, I suspect he was harmless, but not knowing for sure was uncomfortable. The feeling of being flattered was in a distant second place.

[justmetoo]

I got "chatted up" by a guy once. Not in the least bit flattered (uncomfortable, yes, flattered, no). I'm not interested in guys that way. And I'm convinced he "clocked" and that's why he thought he could "chat me up". No thanks.
Now, if it were a woman who tried to "chat me up" I'd probably feel differently.

[Jenniferathome]

I shared my minimal experience in this thread:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t-had-to-do-it!

i can't really see how any man could stay fooled for long. Usually proximity will be sufficient to show that we are cross dressers.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I have been hit on only once a few years ago and I was scared because I NEVER expexted it. Below is the link to my thread from that experience.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ight=hit+movie

[jjjjohanne]

I always present male. I was out in a skirt, etc. on a two separate occasions when a woman started talking to me and asking lots of questions. Both times, once on a plane, I ended up talking with her for over 30 minutes. Once, a guy came over to me and asked me if I had lost a bet or something. Then he talked to me for another minute. I never got any sense that he was approving of my dress. Just curious about what he was seeing, I think. Never anything more than that.