my dressing is not as satisfying anymore why?

[Natasha V]

I been Cross dressing and enjoying my time en femme just about every other day sleeping in sexy nightgown and wearing my panties a bra under my male clothes keeping my toes nicely polished even using nice flower scented lotion and body wash but I have been noticing that my dressing isn't fulfilling my desire to dress anymore just becoming to common. My wife is very accepting of my femme side but I want input on where this puts me from your point of view. Thank You

[Tiffany Jane]

It appears that you have come to a plateau in the crossdressing experience. I know that there are days I look at my clothes and think "Why did I buy this?" Week later it looks just fine. It comes with growing in your own belief and feelings of who you are and who you want to be, or to be seen as. I would look at buying something new, getting rid of something old, and find where the rest leave you feeling. Also, it could be a need to express your femme side more often in everyday situations. That is sometimes difficult to do, but if you are only able to delve into this side for short periods of time, it could also be part of your frustration. Word of caution: If you currently dress when by yourself, it can be difficult to dress and be seen by your wife. It took me a couple of times to relax when I was able to sit and watch t.v. or hang out in my femme attire. This can also be frustrating and appear to be unrewarding.

[Marcelle]

Hi Natasha,

I am not really sure why the feeling leaves some and not others. However, I do know that for every person who has posted a similar thread, the feeling returns at some point. It could be that at first it is quite exciting and new and then when it begins to be normalized that zeal wears off. I am not saying this is the case with you as I am not sure how long you have been dressing and to what extent. Do you go out en femme or is this a private dressing thing?

I do believe there is some validity in the endorphin rush we get when we are first able to fully realize this side of us and each subsequent dressing releases those endorphins with greater amount as the dressing increases. However, once we reach a certain point saturation takes hold and the endorphins no longer provide that rush (things normalize). As such, we can become a bit apathetic in our attitudes toward dressing with no increased outlet. I believe it is at this point we may decide to increase our dressing or allow it to stabilize to the extent we are at. Eventually, the stability returns and when the endorphin chase diminishes, you will most likely start dressing again but it will be more normal but still satisfying. When I first started going out it was exhilarating but even that "rush" slowly left and now when I go out "en femme" it is just me being me, same as when I am "en boy" just a different presentation.

My two cents for what it is worth.

Hugs

Isha

[Natasha V]

Thank you Tiffany, I have found myself being more daring while shopping by simply going through dresses and shoes without a care around until I walk out an wonder what was I thinking. I did get a little more daring few days ago getting a partial makeover in male mode even showing my pics to counter sales girl while chatting.

[Nefer]

I get the feeling Isha's right on this one. If you do something all the time, of course its going to lost the excitement. Women dress that way every day, and its pretty much just the way things are. I can't imagine its particularly exciting for them to dress normal, which is the point you are probably reaching.

[NicoleScott]

Isha and Nefer may be right, but if doing something often (CDing, in this case) causes a loss of excitement, my reaction/response was to up the game instead of doing it less. For me, that's probably why I'm an OTT dresser. "Just dressing" had lost its luster. Others may react by dressing more often or going out more.
Still, I have had periods when my desire to dress diminished. As Isha said, it comes back. I think the reason for the ups and downs are outside of crossdressing. In other words, life happens and may affect our CDing, sometimes in a subtle way.
There have been past threads that went something like: "I'm a crossdresser, but haven't felt like it lately. What's wrong with me?" Nothing. It comes and goes, and we should just do it when the desire hits and not do it when it doesn't. No rules. Simple.

[Erica Marie]

Natasha you have the same thing going on as me. I think it is the point in time when you realize you are not dressing up any more but just getting dressed. I too look at it all differently. Over the last 30 some years I have been through so many stages. Now I just get dressed, do my hair and go. I was shopping this weekend and I was the same way, just go in, look ,ask for help if needed and its no big deal, Im just shopping for what I need. I finally realized its never going to change so Im just going to let it be who I am.

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm able to dress just about everyday except weekends. Not always makeup and wig but just dress.
For me lately it's almost become part of my day. Now it all comes off except undies for work but I've come to a good place in my dressing maybe you will too

[Natasha V]

Thank you all for the great help I am Ina time when I feel happy to be myself and just enjoy the time without guilt or any negativity. I really enjoy having great friends who understand and are happy to share their experiences. Love you all.

[Kris Avery]

Another view is that for me the dressing ended up not being enough - no meter what I did.
It was like playing wack-a-mole...forever trying different things.

However it lead me to therapy and finding how deep the rabbit hole was....
In my case, very, very, very deep.

[susan54]

There is a lot in what Isha says. I was never one of those who imagined myself a woman when out and about dressed - it was just acting and fun, like being on stage. Now, though I love and wear the clothes just as much, I have become uncomfortable with the idea of acting like a woman. I could have gone out today - I spent the whole day in a lovely dress - all I had to do was put on some make up and a wig, but I couldn't be bothered - there were more interesting things to do. I don't need to go dress shopping or get my toes done any more. Been there, done that, a few hundred times. It just isn't as much fun any more and I would just have gone shopping and possibly bought another expensive dress to add to my extensive collection of lovely dresses - how will another hundred pound dress improve my life? It won't. I have reached the plateau, and there is nothing more to achieve, so I will just enjoy the daily process of taking off my nightie, then putting on a bra and knickers, then tights and a nice skirt or dress and heels and doing stuff at home that I would be doing anyway - I just happen to be doing it in a dress. Make up and nail varnish are a chore, and my home is positively groaning under the weight of more womenswear than I can store or remember. Yes, I know I will come back to doing it in earnest again, but I am perfectly happy just going with the flow for now. Going out carries a (very small) risk of being recognised or being in an accident, and the experience has to be sufficiently satisfying to outweigh this (like the breeze on my legs) but currently I don't need that. Everyone should just do what makes them happy (as long as others are not hurt by any of this).

[Adriana]

This seems to happen to many, including myself. I find increasing my time dressed and taking more risk help, but I dont recommend the risk part .

[docrobbysherry]

I thinks it's like gym membership. U go and enjoy it for awhile. Then, u go because u feel u should. Then, u go because u paid. All the while going less and less. Then, u give it up all together.

I underdressed for awhile at first. Once the thrill left, I quit. I keep trying new things in my life as Sherry because doing all the old things over and over gets boring. Fortunately, between changing my looks, figures, and CD's I meet out? I can probably keep doing this until I'm in a nursing home. Mite not be too far away since I'm 70.

U can't keep doing the same thing over and over and get the same thrill. That's what life is all about. U do everything u want to when and while u can. Then, u get old and can't do the things u mite still enjoy. Eventually, u can't do anything and you're ready to go!

Do what u WANT to do, Natasha. You've given us no clue what those things mite be. But, U KNOW!

[AngelaYVR]

For myself, my wife accepts but doesn't wish to see, so sometimes when I calculate the available getting-ready/removing-it-all time it seems like a lot of bother. I also love riding my bike but some weeks I'm just not into it. I think the key is to just roll with what you're feeling, we're complex bits of machinery not easily fathomed.

xox

[Jaymees22]

Many things are like this, marriage is great at first, you just can't get enough and then you have had enough.

Another analogy is boating, you get a new boat and the first summer you go out every day the weathers nice, a few years later you realize it's costing more than the pleasure you get from it.

Another simplistic view from me. Jaymee

[victoria76]

I've experienced this also... Sometimes it's a thrill like none other, and other times, it's just whatever...
But like the others said, indeed, it will come back. At least it does for me after some time.
I believe it's normal what you're experiencing.

[LelaK]

Susan said: "how will another hundred pound dress improve my life?"

I suppose it would give you quite another workout.

[Catina]

I have experienced a similar loss of excitement about dressing and wondered what happen to the thrill... After a short time of reflection and giving up my expectations about my "rewards", I found that "SHE" had reached a new level of self identity as a Woman .... it was then that a NEW journey began ... the journey of discovery of ... the Goddess. Old zen saying "To get what you want, quit wanting it" ... Hugs !

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[Nikkilovesdresses]

Why force it or worry about it? Quit xdressing for a while and see how it feels. If you don't feel the urge, just accept that. Desn't sound like you're really under pressure either way- lucky you!

[Lynn Marie]

Dressing is no longer an obsession with me. Sometimes I dress up and sometimes I don't. I enjoy my life as a gentleman also. I find that a new dress, or blouse, or skirt does wonders for my enthusiasm for the sport. I try hard to be sure to notice and make a big deal over my CD girlfriends when they show up in something new.

[Claire Cook]

Hi Natasha,

I'd spend less time worrying about where we see you fitting in than where you feel you are "fitting in". We're all different and find or own comfort zones. It's probably natural that the "rush" we feel decreases with time. I know that's true for me (but the rush is still there when I go out the door!). As others have said, now I just get dressed and go, It may not be the high it used to be, but it's a nice comfort zone -- and feels more natural. And you know how lucky you are to have a supportive wife -- we can't put too high a price on that.

[heatherdress]

Maybe you are simply in a CD rut. Try something new in your routine, make-up, wardrobe. Maybe get out of your house dressed. Or maybe just don't dress every day and every night. But don't worry.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

I wouldn't worry about it, unless you're feeling depressed or that you're missing something. The "thrill" for me many times is replaced by a great feeling of satisfaction and peace, that I am who I was meant to be, truly comfortable in my own skin. Now when I add some new sexy lingerie, I never know how i'll feel

[Natasha V]

Thanks for the wonderful support everyone i really appreciate it. I,ll take as just bumps in the road. Love you all 🌺