Is passing the ultimate goal?

[windycissy]

What a great conversation! Passing is the holy grail for me, and dressing to blend is a big part of that, but I know how lucky I am to have the build and bone structure to be able to pull it off. I've met lots of crossdressers, and it's like a bell shaped curve: some of us can pass easily, some of us will never pass no matter what, and most of us have a shot if we work at it, but it's not easy and there will definitely be bad days and embarrassing moments. I don't think trying to pass is for everyone, and if you're happy and content dressing as a woman in the privacy of your home, you should be happy, and if you have someone to share it with, you're very lucky.

[LexiNexi]

I was in denial and tried to say no, but it is. Make up and hair is just alot of work some days...Not to mention maintaining your figure. But I only feel right when I pass.

[docrobbysherry]

If u THINK u passed? U probably didn't. When people see u as a female without a second thot, they treat U DIFFERENTLY!

That's not always a good thing. U may get ignored or treated impolitely. Just another woman after all. But, if folks think there is a possibility u r a man in a dress? They may bend over backward not to offend u.

Dressing to blend may help those that may stand out because they're masculine to get by unnoticed by some folks. But, dressing like that is like drinking cod liver oil for me!

[MichelleDevon]

As others have said it isn't necessarily about "passing". At 6'4" in my (often!) stockinged feet I am going to be pretty obvious in most situations and unless I am at a basketball match (which I have never been to!) the likelihood is there will not be any tall real girls to divert attention. So someone sees a very tall girl, does a double-take and realises that it is not a real girl at all.

So for me there seems little point in attempting to "pass". My goal is to look smart, presentable, maybe attractive, too but to blend into wherever I am rather than sticking out like a sore thumb. There will be situations where one is trying to be ostentatious - Christmas gatherings where everyone gets out their bling and sparkle, or going to Sparkle in Manchester, UK, where CD/TVs take over the clubs for a weekend - the micro-mini showing off stocking tops, dress with outrageously low decolletage might be de rigour in those situations.

Increasingly I find when I am out and about as Michelle that I am recognised for who I am and accepted as a crossdresser and, not infrequently, complimented on what I am wearing and on my courage in being out there as Michelle - and I think that would be my ultimate goal.

Michelle
x

[Glorialovesheels]

when I first started , not so much, as I was more into the feeling and emotions of wearing womens clothes and highheels ..it was more of an arousal for me at first. but later I discovered it was more and wanted to try to become as "feminine" as possible.. lately it depends on my moods or how much time , if I know I will be alone and don't have any commitments for the day... I will try to get "passible" (full makeup, wig) but its just a couple of hours.. well maybe just heels and a dress!

[Joanne108]

For me it is just a good thing to ward off the stupid questions.

[Jaymees22]

I have been out and about and clearly no one noticed. I felt good that I was able to blend in but, thought if I don't want to be noticed I might as well go out in male mode with a lot less effort. So presently I do my dressing at home and am happy with that. Of course in the future I may again have the urge to go out, change is good and I change often!!! Hugs Jaymee

[Stephanie47]

My personal view on passing is what is to be achieved? What are the goals? I will never pass for a woman. I know women come in all shapes and sizes. I am sure I have passed many cross dressers who have perfected the art of makeup, hair and attire. I am sure I have passed many cross dressers who have not attracted my attention because their height and weight are within the perimeters of many women. Me? Height and weight and physical features are a giveaway. I will not pass as a woman. If I were to venture out to be viewed as a "man wearing a dress" it would defeat the entire reason why I like to wear women's clothing on occasion. Being attired as a woman brings peace and tranquility. I have gone out in the evening and with the aid of an umbrella have taken walks. I have driven at night and made stops to return books to the library, mail at letter or grab a free newspaper. Those short forays have felt great, but, I have made sure I have not encountered others. I just enjoy my privacy, whether attired as a male or as a female.

[SandraInHose]

With a 48-inch chest and 18" biceps, coupled with a goatee and five-o-clock shadow, I gave up on passing decades ago.

But in my dreams, I truly wish I could experience what it would be like to be an attractive woman. I'm not attracted to men, but the fantasy of being a hottie or even just a mildly attractive female is something that will occupy my brain forever.

[Juliax35]

Passing is and is not the ultimate goal for me.

It is because as many of us I would like to be like a woman.

It's not because they're so many different women shappes, voice, type, etc... One has a "male" shape - a bottom not like JLO, another has a "male" voice, etc...

So for me the most important thing would be : if I go somwhere and the people have to look more than twice to "understand" who I m, or nobody pay attention to me as I'm a "normal" woman, the goal is reached.

[KristyPa]

A little over 20 years ago when I first went out I somewhat convinced myself I passed. As time went on and I aged I realized I did not pass at all. It bothered me a little bit but I realized I don't pass, I never will and over time excepted I don't pass and have become somewhat ok with it. Yes I wish I passed, I don't and I just have to except and be ok with it.
One other thing I forgot to add. As I aged I made sure I dressed more casual to so-called blend in better like wearing jeans and liking wearing them. I actually like wearing a nice pair of jeans with pumps and think they look good.

[Michelle_G]

My ultimate goal is to pass and I try to get as close to passing as my features will allow. My big hands ,my broad shoulders,and my voice are my biggest insecurities. Years of practicing with makeup and foundation garments has helped me build up my confidence. At first it felt like everyone was looking at me, but for the most part , they weren't. I found the more confident and relaxed I felt , the more I didn't care. I also am not used to men checking me out and realized that some of the looks are just that. Many others have said it but dressing appropriately goes a long way toward blending in. I love wearing a dress,hose and heels as much as the next girl but a blouse, skinny jeans, and nice boots fit in better at the mall.

[Richelle]

My ultimate goal is to be just out and enjoy life as Richelle. Sometimes I pass other times I just blend. It is hard to tell which as I belive that most do not care or pay that much attention to others around them. So if I am ma'amed or the do not run out of the ladies room screaming that there is a man there, do I pass or blend?

Richelle