The day of many firsts!
I will try to keep my post as short as I can, but last night and today were CRAZY! I could have created a thread just for each topic with all details, but I will instead just summarize here. I have been on a rollercoaster the last few months, particularly December, with many first experiences, but I never went out en femme for example, and since I am considering transition, I needed to see at least a therapist. So here are the events that happened, each of which were milestones for me.
First time showing Karolyn to a non-transgendered friend
So far, I came out to 12 people (about CDing and my intention of becoming TG). I started with a gay friend, then a TG, then a GM, then a GG, then a coworker and a few more friends, and finally a family member (my sister). My goal was to explore the different reactions I would get from people with different backgrounds, and different experiences with me. I got only positive feedback! The only slight difference was my sister who was more worried, particularly about the many consequences of transitioning. So I was getting ready this week-end to spend some time as Karolyn, and one of my friends was available to play some video games. I finally said why not, but I still wanted to be Karolyn. I asked my friend by phone and he was OK with it. He is a very straight guy, who is used to pick up girls, and a bit macho. When he saw me, his reaction was priceless! He said "OMG, you really do look like a chick!". I took that as a compliment. And actually, he really gave me positive feedback, the only issue I really have with my body now is my large shoulders. My TG friend told me that they should get less large with hormones, I hope so.
First time shopping for girl accessories in drab, without caring about what other people think
I needed a purse to go to the gender therapist (next paragraph), but I was in drab. After the good experience I got at the mall (one of my previous threads) where you just need to ignore what other people think, I did it again, but this time at Kohls. I went for a purse, and finally I left with a purse, a wallet, two scarves and a necklace. I have never bought any of those items before in person, I was too scared.
First session with a gender therapist, and first time out en femme
I took an appointment a week ago to see a therapist, to know if transitioning was really what I wanted. Not only it went well, but she really read through my mind sometimes, and really saw my motivation for transitioning. I had several fears about the consequences, and at the end, she made me very confident. She is going to let me transition! I am seeing her again next week to talk about how I will come out to my parents (the hardest part) and to get the HRT letter. I also went there en femme, I wanted her to evaluate how far I am in the process. That was incredible how people on the parking lot and in the corridors of the building were not even having a double take. I was walking with them, and nothing! No reaction! I even was alone with a man in the elevator, behind him, and when the door was open, he showed me I could exit first, like a lady. So happy when that happened!
First pedicure/manicure
I was planning to go out en femme at a restaurant, but I had two hours left. I was going to do my nail polish on my toes, when I got the idea: I am en femme, let's just go to nail salon. I asked for a woman pedicure with color polish and a man manicure with clear polish. The store employees barely reacted, they definitely found out I was a guy, but they were super helpful, and were smiling at me so many times. They even encouraged me to come back. I got full service, including massage and scrub. When the guy was scrubing my legs, he said I had the skin of a baby. So nice! I got pinkish-purplish glittery toe nails, they look really nice, and that is the first time I see my hand nails so nice and glossy.
First restaurant en femme
I finished the day going to a restaurant with my TG friend (it was a non-TG one originally, but she wasn't available). We went to a Thai place. There were about a dozen people around me that could have looked at me. Nothing! No reaction! Nobody looked at me in a weird way, and I was observing. At one moment, one girl looked in my direction, but she just looked away naturally, no double take. She was just looking around like I did. The waitress was really nice, and I was able to order myself, but tuning down my voice and having a slightly higher pitch. I barely started working on my voice. Thanks Gabriela (username Humana) for sharing her story on this forum, which was a trigger for me to have that outing at the restaurant.
Overall, an incredible day and a half, an absolute milestone in my CD life. And a big lesson: don't be scared going out, even if you are not completely passable, people just don't care. Just enjoy it!
Karolyn
Originally Posted by Rhonda Darling
