Between a revealing therapy session yesterday and a lovely dinner with girlfriends tonight, I realized something.
Outside of work and family (where I'm not out yet), it's been 2 months since the last time I actually left the house presenting male, not counting one situation where I had to go to the grocery store in a minor emergency and didn't have time to shave. I didn't actually realize it as it was happening, for some reason, but I'm honestly somewhat shocked to find out where I am.
I've yet to start HRT (actively looking for doctors), but laser for my face starts on Friday. A friend (who never actually knew me as a man) asked me last night whether I missed going out as male, and it took me about 0.00000001 seconds to respond - 'nope, not one bit". While coming out at work has historically been a sticky point in my process of deciding to move forward with HRT, I've apparently come full circle - I would rather be who I'm supposed to be and crossdress as a man at work for a little while (until I feel more physically ready) than to not move forward.
I think I'd allowed myself to think that because HRT and hair removal hadn't started yet, I wasn't really transitioning yet. This week I've realized that while I'm still very early in my process, I'm a lot more transitioned (in some ways) than I thought. Now it's time to start getting my body caught up with my life.