The why for me is its me. Like others the total comfort is so great. Even when there isn't a "desire" putting on the look is so awesome.
Where does it go? Who knows, and who cares.
I also would like it to be ok to dress how we feel, within decency standards, one day?
The why for me is......
This is the way I feel most comfortable.
and in the end, when I am laying on my death bed, the person that
has to be happy with my life is just me. Sure I would want special people around me.
but the most important person to make happy is me.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Hi Jaymee,
Why? Simply put Isha is as much a part of my as my guy self.
Hugs
Isha
I have been asking this question to myself alot lately. I still can't explain it much myself. Some of it is I enjoy living a fantasy, kind of like a child playing make believe games. Some of it is I enjoy the feelings I have when I dress, and that is the part I have been thinking about lately. Maybe I should think about why I like chocolate cake instead.....
It's a cure for stress for me. Early on there was the sexy fetish phase many go through, but now it's the way I unwind. I've mentioned before lingerie cured a long running sleep disorder. Lately I've been buying casual, "around the house" dresses, blouses and skirts. I change as soon as I'm home from work and not going out again for the day. I realized just this week that even though I'm a happily closeted CD, I spend just about 50% of my time in women's clothes if you count sleeping.
Rereading this I realized I just kicked the can down the road on the question. It's now "Why does CD relax me so?"
No idea. I simply accept it at this point. I'm curious to see what happens when I retire and lose the biggest stressor in my life.
The original personal why was being the youngest growing up with sisters and being raised predominantly by mom and female sitters, I was continuously exposed to all the activity associated with being female. Of course, when I got too curious about things I was told, 'boys don't do that.' So it all became some kind of alluring taboo and being the master of clandestine behaviour, I enjoyed borrowing bras and stockings and dresses, memorizing exactly their original position. It was so funny one time Mom said, "Stay out of my bra drawer!" Then she turned to my Father and said, "That goes for you,too!" I've always wondered about that.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
A great question. My answer as to why? I haven't a clue. I do know it's something that's been with me that has laid mostly dormant since a young age.
Now that it's out I've fully accepted that this is who I am and I couldn't be happier.
I began at a very young age. I would be at a friends house playing and going through his sisters closet looking for dresses. I didn't think anything of it and we acted out and played. As I got older in my teens, I would be at a girl's home in her room and get her to put makeup on me and we would go through her closet playing "dress up". She did not think it strange or treat me differently but treated it as a love fantasy to act out.
I have wondered is it a fetish, fantasy or something else. I don't stop to think about it anymore and try to label it.... I just enjoy the moment and feelings.
Go through life being yourself with your head up and your heels and standards high
Beats me! For some reason I decided to try on my mom's heels one night when she was out, but they didn't fit until I put on one of her stockings...boom! I was hooked. After my older sister went off to college, I started trying on her clothes until I totally dressed myself as a girl, and I had my first orgasm like that, which totally bummed me out afterwards, but I kept coming back, again and again...the immediate sexual gratification has long since been replaced by a feeling of happy contentment when I transform myself, and once I discovered that I was passable as a woman, going out and experiencing the world has become a huge part of my life. So I guess you could call it a lifelong addiction, reasons unknown?
IMHO, there are several right answers - depending on what you get from the actions. And you must use labels which not everyone agrees on. A "transsexual" may do it to match their inner gender. A "drag queen" does it for the money and some day to make fun of women. A "homosexual" man may do it to attract a male mate. A "fetishist transvestite" may do it for sexual gratification. Why they get sexually aroused by it is another matter and may have in common with the "heterosexual cross dresser", which this section has a biased population of. These people "love" women - meaning they appreciate feminine ways and thoughts and appearance, and wish to emulate them, not make fun. So why do these CDers, who like "normal" men, feel male, like women, and yet want to look and act like women despite enormous pressure not to? It shares many things in common with an addiction - but how does one have an addiction to drugs, gambling, sex, alcohol? What causes those addictions? And how good is any cure of those? is it in their DNA, their environment, a combination? Is it a self-esteem issue in regards to their physical appearance? Many here are very intelligent, so it does not appear to be self-esteem regarding mental abilities. Many are in "macho" roles - possibly also done to compensate for this early feelings. Many here feel better about themselves when dressed and they see themselves or the feelings they feel, as there are blind CDers. They use the phrases - happy, reduced stress, felt myself. It does not matter if you look good enough to pass - just that something makes you feel closer to that thing we adore - femininity (whatever that means to each of us).
yes, I have given this a lot of thought and reading.
Hope I have made you think.
hugs, Ellen
Most of the time it's not an addiction nor a compulsion, which is why it doesn't respond to treatment for those problems. It's usually part of a gender identity disorder, and there's no known cure for it at this time. The biggest problem is, there's such a stigma attached to everything feminine for males in our society, that many of us seem to have an insurmountable block that stops us from accepting that we have ANYTHING feminine about us in any way, ever. The huge percentage of people here who feel the need to pretend that their girl behavior 'isn't the real me' is pretty obvious evidence of this. Many even create imaginary female personas so that they can absolve any responsibility for the female feelings and behavior they embrace, and refer to that in the third person as if it's someone else entirely. I'm not saying these people are bad in any way, or that there's something wrong with what they're doing. It's just that it gets in the way of finding out who and what they really are, deep down inside their own minds. As for myself, every single female behavior, and feeling, is all me. It just makes me sad that it's so hard to find a woman that can accept a guy who admits to feeling the same way she does about so many things.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I have tried for years to figure it out in the end i just had to accept it because i finaly figured out it was not going away .I say do it when you can and enjoy it when you have the the chance make the most of it
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
My "Why" is because this is a huge part of who I am.
I was told once by a former girlfriend that I was the most sensitive and attentive man she had ever met. I credit much if not all of that to this part of me, my feminine side.
Why I started, I don't know, I was only about 6 or 7. Why I continued, I don't know, it just felt right to me.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Wow,
As a beginner dresser there are many questions that pop into your head and the why is probably one of the hardest ones to asnwer. I personally am still debating on they why. I know I am 100% straight, I don't find men attractive at all, I am atracted to the feminine attributes of women might they be gg or ts. This idealization that I have for women might be part of the reason I do it, but my answer is still a work in progress.
Very good question as sometime i try to escape the deep stress i suffer from work so when dressed up as stacy nothing else seems stressfull im more relaxed and sometimes i just get tired of being a mani guess there is no direct answer for that question
The good ole 'why' question again....
For me, personally:
- I must be somewhat transgender or why the heck would I want to do this or feel good about doing it?
- I am feeling more like this is some sort of escapism or means of expressing my mild TG-ness as I seem to want to gravitate towards socialising while doing this - more than cosplay or historical re-enactment, but less than having 'a woman inside of me'.
- It still gives me a buzz, but one that is no longer sexual...
- And it seems that I am more attracted to glamour than my otherwise mundane, male existence would allow me to exhibit...
And what am I going to do with all this makeup, wigs and stuff anyway...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
All I know personally is that starting at ages 4-5 I wanted to be a girl. Long before I knew about SRS, from 4 to maybe 7 years old, I imagined being surgically transformed. And this was in the '50's. Starting at around ages 8/9 - early to mid teens (puberty), this urge disappeared. When it came back as a teenager, it was all just very confusing, and I tried to ignore. Ambivalence and the start of the question "do I want to be with or want to be?", and one that I've essentially lived with all my adult life. From the beginning of my experiences as a teen, I knew I did not want to be with men and was not at all attracted to them. This helped me to understand the path was to both be with and be (to some degree) through dressing and the start of acceptance. Over the past 10-12 years I've fully accepted this part of me, with significant support from this site. Because of my size, I know I never could "pass", dress for me, and don't go out dressed, and that's OK now. I dress to varying degrees every day now at home and I enjoy this part of me fully as I understand it.
Genetics, socialization, both, past lives influence and experience, something else? Who knows. Now, no "why's", just be.
Kate
OMG!!! Finally a thread WE can all agree with each other on!!! My answer is (Happy Contentment) And my story as everyone else has... My step daughter who found me out not long ago was looking through some of my pics the other day and made the comment that the only pics that I ever smiled in were the ones where I was dressed..... Hmmm it`s what makes us,, us, Happy Contentment!!!
Tonya!
Tonya RoseThis is me! (song by camp rock)
I only dress at home and under dress walking the dog. When I'm not dressed I just don't feel right like part of me is missing.
Angie
I work during the day dressed en drab (underdressed) to make a living but, when I get home knowing that I don't have to go somewhere else, it's my time to dress en femme. It's my way to relax and the way I feel most comfortable.. It's like a compulsion I don't know how to explain it........
In my case, the reason I enjoy dressing so much is because I love pretty women. It sounds odd to say (and even stranger to write!), but I love women so much, that I want to emulate them. Their smells, their shapes, the clothes they wear, the way they walk, talk and act. I have no desire to be a woman, and I don't consider myself trapped in the wrong body, or TG minded in any way. I just love trying to look like the women I love looking at.
Why??? .....Why NOT ???..LOL.....Everyones got a reason right? ...mine is simple, I LOVE makeup, fashion,design and art...and in some way what we (do) has elements of all 4.....everyone here is an artist in some way shape or form, this is a form of art. Loving those 4 things, and growing up within the drag queen community here in NYC I feel this is just an extention of that artistic expression, a healthy creative outlet and it is deeply rooted in fun, and reality.
I think that the "Why" is imortant, but probably not attainable. It is difficult to explain to others why we crossdress when we do not understand it ourselves. Many of us here lead dual lives, and it is difficult for important others to understand our motivation for this activity. It is still risky behavior from a job, social and cultural perspective. I wish I knew the reason(s) as to why, especially when I seem so obsessed with it at times.
Love, Sabina
The "why" question
I have asked myself this question since the age of 11 when I used to borrow my dads ex'girlfriends clothing to now and I have to say it just feels right. When my wife and I used to go shopping she was always amazed how I was able too see what looked good on her. I think in reality maybe I was shopping for myself and she was my muse to see what looked good and what didn't look good.
After coming out to my wife coming up to almost a year ago, I seemed to have found an inner contentment and peace that I have finally accepted myself for what I am. Somebody who likes wearing female clothing and is proud to say that she likes it's instead of loathing myself and have it tear my apart inside. I finally like who I am and I will continue to build myself to a point where I happy enough with my presentation. To have a trip out into the real world and also post an avatar picture of myself. I want this to be the year that Rebekah owns who she is and is no longer afraid of who I am either enfemme of boy mode.
Sorry for the long reply
Becky
xxxx
Thanks for all your replies. I guess only a Crossdresser knows why and we are the only ones that truly understand it. Hugs Jaymee
I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!
Posting Permissions
