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Thread: When you see someone dressed in public...

  1. #1
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    When you see someone dressed in public...

    ... what do you do?

    I was out doing some shopping with my wife today. Groceries, mostly, so nothing really fun and exciting. Well, we decided I needed some sort of a facial cleanser and makeup remover, so we went to that section of the store.

    While looking I could have sworn I saw someone dressed up. I kind of did a double take, but I didn't want to stare or be impolite. We walked around to another section and I said to my wife "I think that's a man" and she said she thought the same.

    So now I'm walking around the makeup section looking through the facial scrubs and such. I wish I could have said something. I wanted to say something. I wanted to find out more about going out in public in our area. I wanted to know if she was a member here. I wanted to stare, but I felt terrible. It wasn't a "wow, that's a man?" stare, but a "wow, I'm not alone around here?" kind of stare. I guess I was jealous of the bravery involved.

    Well, I didn't manage to say anything, and I saw them pass by again on their way toward the exit.

    Have you ever seen someone else dressed up while you weren't? Were you interested in finding out about them?

    I guess I'm just excited to know there are others out there in my area. I mean, it's pretty much a guarantee that there are several, but this was the first time I had seen them.

  2. #2
    Member sheilagirl's Avatar
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    I've had the same thing happen and I always try to break the ice with a compliment.
    Yes, there many of us out roving about.

  3. #3
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    I wish I could!

    I'm timid enough even with people I know. I saw someone I work with at a restaurant the other day and I about died trying to just say "hi, how's it going?"

    So approaching a complete stranger is just something I would probably never be able to do.
    Last edited by DAVIDA; 01-26-2015 at 06:58 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the post right before your post.

  4. #4
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I have run into several sisters when out, with me being in either male of female mode. If I am in the mood I may look for an appropriate opportunity to make a realistic and very neutral comment about the weather, the store, the products, whatever that I would realistically comment upon with anyone else. I always keep it neutral and may or may not be looking at them in the eyes. I may give them a glance while talking. That is not because I am shy, far from it, but they might be and I give them a break. So, if the opportunity arises for you, make it look like an innocent comment about something besides them. The last thing that many want to hear is something about them and how they present, unless there is something specific, like "Where did you get those boots?". They probably do not want to hear about you either, so please abstain from that too. If they are interested in talking more, it will be obvious, otherwise give them a break.

  5. #5
    Member Erika Lyne's Avatar
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    I'm always torn. If I see someone dressed and passing and I stare, while in drab, it must seem to them that they were just made, (even though it takes one to know one). If I don't look again, it is as if I am not admiring their bravery. If I say something, will someone else notice that wouldn't have otherwise or will they be awkwardly insulted that someone noticed after passing for a while? If I give them a smile and a nod, I may look like a Tranny Chaser. It always seems to be a losing thing no matter which path I take.

    I wish I knew what the best option was. I'd like to give them a compliment but that usually comes out perverted.

    *sigh*
    -E

  6. #6
    Member victoria76's Avatar
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    I feel a lot like you, FeliciaMCD. I have seen them out and about and wanted to talk also, but was too shy to do it.
    I am always fascinated to see others out and about. I admire their bravery!

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Seana Summer's Avatar
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    I try to not treat them any differently than I treat anyone else. Which is how I prefer to be treated
    Seana

    Just a plain ole boring crossdresser

  8. #8
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    I rarely spot one of our tribe in the wild. We are not as prolific as many would like to believe.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  9. #9
    Member Starr's Avatar
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    I go out dressed often, and have no problem with a complement leading into a conversation, however I am pretty open about who I am so I am also very confident in being out...with that it is easy for me to deal with someone wanting to talk.. Now don't get me wrong here I am confident in who I am.. not confident in that I am passing to everyone I see.. I have no problem being read.. I even sometimes go out all fem but without my breast forms.. so easy to see I am not a real girl..

  10. #10
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    I would like to treat them differently to everyone else.
    If I saw a random girl I would not approach her, but if I saw one of us, I would want to say hi and compliment them.
    I've only seen one while I was dressed, I smiled, she looked away.

    And if you saw me, I would like you to say hi
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  11. #11
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    I just recently got back from a disneyworld vacation, and saw someone dressed as Alice. My wife saw her first and wanted to say something, but refrained as to not startle them. After all, they were on vacation as well. She did however take a photo to show me. We went back to our room via the lobby and they were still there texting. I too refrained from disturbing their vacation. I just smiled and thought "WhT a fun outfit to wear at Disney ".
    Being in the closet isn't all that bad. There's so many wonderful things in mine!

  12. #12
    Vespa Vixen AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    This makes me wonder about some of the comments I get from guys when I'm out. I always assumed they were hitting on me but perhaps they were just trying to give the secret handshake?

  13. #13
    Happy! Karolyn's Avatar
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    I saw two CDs en femme when I went to Sephora the first time. That discovery made me much more confident for my future visits.

    I just come back from the movie theater en femme, and that was interesting to see the reaction of some people. When I was on the sidewalk, people coming in front of me look at me first, then after a second they do a sudden move, like a little jump, because they just realized who I was. If there is a BF or GF, they start talking discretely. I didn't take it personally, but when I see CDs in real-life, I just have my normal reaction, which is almost none. I try to smile at least, to make the CD more confident.

  14. #14
    Member Karen62's Avatar
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    I think I saw a trans sister just yesterday. I was in the local UPS Store to drop off a return item shipment (some nice but non-fitting fem shoes to Zappos!) and was running late for an important engagement. I was a bit stressed because the line was taking a long time to move and I was impatient. Behind me I heard the store's door open and then I hear a feminine voice, although in a rather masculine tonal register, call out to the clerk behind the counter. I turned around to see a very tall (definitely over 6'), large-framed woman who was wearing casual but clearly feminine clothes. She had her own curly hair (no wig), and wore light make-up. She was already smiling when I look at her, and I gave her a BIG happy, warm smile in return. Her smile brightened up and she gave me a wink! Just then the clerk called me over, took my box and then I had to run along. But this was in my little home town. How awesome was that? I hope I run into her again when I am less stressed for time and finally get to meet her. She seemed to be so comfortable in her own skin -- I LOVED THAT. I'll get there -- one day.

    Karen

  15. #15
    Member annecwesley's Avatar
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    There's someone I first noticed about 8 years ago at a local thrift store. She was not very passable at the time, but I have seen her over the years looking better every time. I've long wanted to introduce myself and get to know this kindred soul, whome I admire for her courage and development, but have never had the opportunity. I think I know who she is (her male self) and where he works - but I wouldn't dare introduce myself under those circumstances. She lives in my town, I've figured that out.

    Just the other day I saw her again. What's odd is that I was looking her over, admiring her skirt and the way she looked before I noticed her face and realized who I was admiring. She looked good, and I wanted to tell her so. She was two people ahead of me in the supermarket checkout, and by the time I checked out she was, again, gone.

  16. #16
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    I look from a distance and admire them for their bravery. I wish I could do it.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Sarah-RT's Avatar
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    I was once in a shopping mall and saw a person walk by headed to a clothes shop who was 6' 5'' or so, im 6' 4'' and they were taller than me, I wasnt close enough to notice an adams apple but I did do a double take and thought, thats definitely a guy. I remember he kind of stared at me when I did the double take and was probably thinking ''hes realised im not a woman''.

    Didnt think much of it at the time but now I wish I could have said something. Especially since Ireland has such a small population the percentage of CDers is presumably quite low and that socially we're still a little behind some of the rest of the world so I reckon it must have taken him a great deal of courage to shop in public during the day in a busy shopping center

    Kudos to him
    I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.

  18. #18
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    I went to the grocery store today for the first time here. Maybe it was me!
    It was really busy, but no comment or staring. Cashier was nice.
    Busy parking lot too.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    A always see people dressed in public.
    If they were naked I would have something to write home about.....

    Oh! dressed as in.......

    I do nothing to scare the deer in the headlights.
    I know a lot of girls that would pass as boys without any effort.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  20. #20
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Just think how awkward it would be if you walked up to someone you took for a crossdresser and said "Hi, my name is Felicia and I'm a crossdresser just like you." and it turned out to be a generic woman?

    The only crossdresser I've seen in public in many years is my own reflection in a store window. I didn't say anything.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    . . yea and add so when are you due?

  22. #22
    Member DorothyElizabeth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    This makes me wonder about some of the comments I get from guys when I'm out. I always assumed they were hitting on me but perhaps they were just trying to give the secret handshake?
    I have met other "dressers" on three occasions. Purely by accident, I discovered the secret handshake seems to be a compliment paid to an article of clothing, nail polish, or a hairdo. If she responds with more than just a simple "thank you", you can move on from there to follow-up questions such as "where did you get it?"
    "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." Anais Nin

  23. #23
    New Member CrackedFacade's Avatar
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    I've only run into one person that was dressed (unless I'm hanging out in Dupont Circle) and we bumped into each other in the nail polish section of a local big box store. It was rather amusing b/c we both gave each other the "nod" and continued to look for that perfect colr.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member phylis anne's Avatar
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    I found if I start the convo with c"ould we have a birds of the same feather chat"? this has broken the ice several times
    hugs phylis anne

  25. #25
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    I immediately go to the PA system and say, Will the crossdresser in isle 6 please report to checkout #7 for interrogation as to why you are looking at the makeup.

    Really, if we are close I will pay her some compliment or maybe just smile and say hello.

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