When you see someone dressed in public...

[FeliciaMCD]

... what do you do?

I was out doing some shopping with my wife today. Groceries, mostly, so nothing really fun and exciting. Well, we decided I needed some sort of a facial cleanser and makeup remover, so we went to that section of the store.

While looking I could have sworn I saw someone dressed up. I kind of did a double take, but I didn't want to stare or be impolite. We walked around to another section and I said to my wife "I think that's a man" and she said she thought the same.

So now I'm walking around the makeup section looking through the facial scrubs and such. I wish I could have said something. I wanted to say something. I wanted to find out more about going out in public in our area. I wanted to know if she was a member here. I wanted to stare, but I felt terrible. It wasn't a "wow, that's a man?" stare, but a "wow, I'm not alone around here?" kind of stare. I guess I was jealous of the bravery involved.

Well, I didn't manage to say anything, and I saw them pass by again on their way toward the exit.

Have you ever seen someone else dressed up while you weren't? Were you interested in finding out about them?

I guess I'm just excited to know there are others out there in my area. I mean, it's pretty much a guarantee that there are several, but this was the first time I had seen them.

[sheilagirl]

I've had the same thing happen and I always try to break the ice with a compliment.
Yes, there many of us out roving about.

[FeliciaMCD]

I wish I could!

I'm timid enough even with people I know. I saw someone I work with at a restaurant the other day and I about died trying to just say "hi, how's it going?"

So approaching a complete stranger is just something I would probably never be able to do.

[AllieSF]

I have run into several sisters when out, with me being in either male of female mode. If I am in the mood I may look for an appropriate opportunity to make a realistic and very neutral comment about the weather, the store, the products, whatever that I would realistically comment upon with anyone else. I always keep it neutral and may or may not be looking at them in the eyes. I may give them a glance while talking. That is not because I am shy, far from it, but they might be and I give them a break. So, if the opportunity arises for you, make it look like an innocent comment about something besides them. The last thing that many want to hear is something about them and how they present, unless there is something specific, like "Where did you get those boots?". They probably do not want to hear about you either, so please abstain from that too. If they are interested in talking more, it will be obvious, otherwise give them a break.

[alwayshave]

I was once in the Pentagon City Mall Macy's shoe section with my fiancee and saw a member from this board. I thought about approaching, but decided not to.

[MelanieAnne]

Recently, I was walking in the park and spotted what I thought was one of us. I wanted to make contact with her. So I sat down on the bench near her, and whispered, "You look amazing, just like a real woman". She jumped up and began flailing away at me with her purse.

ruth buzzy.jpg

[ophelia]

Another time was really awkward and annoying. I like to go shopping in indoor malls. I was set upon by a duo of really badly dressed CD's who wanted to join me. They looked like the drag fobs on Monty Python. Whatever attention I may or may not draw to myself I was not interested in the kind of attention they would have added. They had trouble taking no for an answer and became agressive. I had to speak forcefully to get rid of them. Ruined the evening for me really.

[Erika Lyne]

I'm always torn. If I see someone dressed and passing and I stare, while in drab, it must seem to them that they were just made, (even though it takes one to know one). If I don't look again, it is as if I am not admiring their bravery. If I say something, will someone else notice that wouldn't have otherwise or will they be awkwardly insulted that someone noticed after passing for a while? If I give them a smile and a nod, I may look like a Tranny Chaser. It always seems to be a losing thing no matter which path I take.

I wish I knew what the best option was. I'd like to give them a compliment but that usually comes out perverted.

*sigh*
-E

[Jean 103]

Thank you for that Melanie Anne LOL Jean

[jjjjohanne]

I believe the common etiquette is to not acknowledge that you have read a CD. I believe it would be polite to call a CD Miss or Ma'am and never let on that you know anything further. If you really want to have a CD conversation with them, I suppose you could start with a question about where they bought their beautiful <clothing item>. If you confess you are a CD, then the other person might reveal that they are a CD. For me, I occasionally ask tall women where they find pants tall enough. I have never asked that of a CD, however.

[HollySmtms]

My wife and I were at the mall, leaving Sephora, and we passed two pretty 20-something women entering, one I am almost sure was not GG. I did a double take, she noticed and smiled, and we went our our merry ways. I wondered for a bit if "she knew I knew", but I am pretty sure she did. What I really want to know is, combining both my quick notice of her and the store I was leaving, did she figure me out? I do like to think so.... I have never been out of the house but if I was and was noticed by another CD or supporter I would definitely want them to say hi.

[victoria76]

I feel a lot like you, FeliciaMCD. I have seen them out and about and wanted to talk also, but was too shy to do it.
I am always fascinated to see others out and about. I admire their bravery!

[Seana Summer]

I try to not treat them any differently than I treat anyone else. Which is how I prefer to be treated

[Sara Jessica]

I rarely spot one of our tribe in the wild. We are not as prolific as many would like to believe.

[Starr]

I go out dressed often, and have no problem with a complement leading into a conversation, however I am pretty open about who I am so I am also very confident in being out...with that it is easy for me to deal with someone wanting to talk.. Now don't get me wrong here I am confident in who I am.. not confident in that I am passing to everyone I see.. I have no problem being read.. I even sometimes go out all fem but without my breast forms.. so easy to see I am not a real girl..

[ophelia]

Wouldn't be great if we could create a secret gesture between dressers which would indicate "You look amazing, you go girl"?
Maybe pointing with the left hand pinkie? The thankyou would come with a left hand pinkie pointed up...

[Joann Smith]

The universal sign goes like this . You are suppose to walk up to them , snap your finger twice , while make a big sweeping motion with your arm and say "GIRL YOU SERVING " in loud voice .


Do that only if they are not in a restaurant .. That would be kinda odd .

[Pat]

Wouldn't be great if we could create a secret gesture between dressers which would indicate "You look amazing, you go girl"?

How about a simple thumbs up?

[CarlaWestin]

I rarely spot one of our tribe in the wild. We are not as prolific as many would like to believe.

How true. You would think that here in Las Vegas seeing a gender explorer would be commonplace. I actually see way more genetic women in fully male mode. It's always interesting to see the visual icons of maleness they choose to embellish. But, it's somewhat rare to see a CD male. And when I do, I make no attempt to engage as I understand that can be traumatic for some of us. On the other hand, I don't believe I've been clocked that often. Nor do I care.

[Sharon B.]

Can't understand why one of us would go stalking another one, how would you feel if someone done that to you?

[Rachelakld]

I would like to treat them differently to everyone else.
If I saw a random girl I would not approach her, but if I saw one of us, I would want to say hi and compliment them.
I've only seen one while I was dressed, I smiled, she looked away.

And if you saw me, I would like you to say hi

[Victoria Demeanor]

It took me a while to find this tread again and its old and has probably hashed to death, but it was one of the first ones I read when I found this site and as i would really like to find a like minded person to chat to in person it has been in the back of my mind for a while. I haven't really seen another girl in my area, but then again I haven't really looked. Also I haven't learned the secret hand shake yet. so I had a thought on this and wondered what the consensuses was.
As I'm not courageous enough to go shopping dress up yet, I figure If were to ever cross paths with another CD I would be in my normal old drab and not looking to come off as a creepy old man looking for a hook up so I came up with this.
I made up some simple business cards. My little Batgirl logo, my girl name and a simple "loves to chat over a good cup of coffee. I then included my gmail address. I figure if the opportunity ever percented itself, A compliment on her shoes, or question about a product on the shelf then a quick "oh here in case you are interested" then a "have a nice day and off to continue my day without lingering for a reply.
I figure the down side is a quick duck to avoid a flying hand bag if I was wrong or having to change my gmail account if things went wrong.
I kind of thought it was a non threatening way to say Hi sister. it also leaves it up to them to make the next move if any.
More then likely these cards will stay in my wallet forever, but what do you all think?
Victoria D

[Connie61]

My wife and I had been shopping in a major store one evening. We were approaching a girl who was a CD. She was walking thru the women's section of clothing as we were too. Two thoughts I had: 1. She was pretty in her own way, 2. I was soooo envious

[Laura in NC]

I just recently got back from a disneyworld vacation, and saw someone dressed as Alice. My wife saw her first and wanted to say something, but refrained as to not startle them. After all, they were on vacation as well. She did however take a photo to show me. We went back to our room via the lobby and they were still there texting. I too refrained from disturbing their vacation. I just smiled and thought "WhT a fun outfit to wear at Disney ".

[AngelaYVR]

This makes me wonder about some of the comments I get from guys when I'm out. I always assumed they were hitting on me but perhaps they were just trying to give the secret handshake?