Hey! So I was planning my first day to go public this saturday, I planned it two weeks ago, I had many friends who were excited and were going to help me out. But like anything else in this world, work and other things in life are preventing me from going out as well. Now that I have been thinking of it. Do I really want to go out? Or just the thought exciting enough? Do I want the world to see me dressed? I have asked myself this about a billion times.. I am worried that if i dont go out (which I do want to go out) my urges will continue to get stronger. But at the same time, a part of me wants to stop crossdressing, life would be easier if it wasnt a part of me. I know my SO accepts me and even shares clothes with me. I know though, I can see it in her eyes, she would prefer Mia didn't exist. She even told me once, that its nice that I am a CDer and we have some stuff in common, but at times she can't help it, and hates that it is part of me. So I am asking myself now, why feed the urges to go out, and be a crossdresser. What if I just fight it, will it go away? From other posts and comments, I have read that it will never go away.. it will only grow stronger... and thats what I am afraid of. I may just try quitting crossdressing, even though I do enjoy it, but its stressful, and it would be easier if it wasnt in my life. If that makes sense.
